Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

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Hi everyone. I have never posted on a forum before ever.

 

i was told I have bc about a month ago when I went to the clinic to get a lump checked. I had to have a biopsy and the radiologist told me there and then it looked highly suspicious. Went back a week later and it was confirmed but no treatment plan as not all results back. Another week later and bc nurse rang to say her2 results borderline and another weeks wait as further test had to be done. I’m now waiting for a phone call tomorrow with her2 results. If below 2 am booked in for lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy on 3rd Nov if 2 or above will need chemo and herceptin.  

 

Since the diagnosis i have felt completely numb. I’m normally very emotional but can’t even cry. I an a total wreck - feel like I’m having one long panic attack and feel in a bubble and like I’m not really here. Can’t sleep and forcing myself to eat. Friends think I’m coping well but I’m really not. Have had depression really badly a long time ago and terrified it will come back and I will have to deal with that as well as bc.  Gp has put me back on antidepressants along with some diazepam that I am trying not to use.  My husband has severe ms so is not able to support me.

 

im really worried that I am not emotionally strong enough to deal with what is to come. I’m trying to carry on as normal but finding it extremely difficult.

 

Has anyone else felt like this and if so how did they cope.

 

Thanks for listening. X

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Hi Camo,
Sorry to hear you’re joining us, but glad you found us.
Many of us have been where you are now & what you’re feeling is quite usual, so please don’t worry about that.
Getting diagnosed is such a shock, then there is the horrible waiting in limbo period whilst the diagnosis & treatment plan are being sorted out.
Honestly, it does get better when your treatment plan is finalised & you know where you are with it all.
There is loads of suppprt here, so do come & chat or vent whenever you want to & please be assured that bc treatment is excellent now, with some of the best outcomes there are.
Sending hugs
ann x

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Just to add, we all do get through it & you will deal with it x

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Hi Camo

 

Try to stay calm, postive thoughts, but always have an open mind. The staff at the hospital, where you are been treated, will really look after you and let you do things in your way in your own time,

 

Love Peggyxxx

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Hi Camo,welcome to the forum .It certainly is a very surreal experience being diagnosed -it really does feel like it is happening to someone else .The time in between being diagnosed and starting treatment is most definitely the most difficult time .Once you get started you really will feel a lot calmer.Lots of support and advice here .Best of luck with phone call tomorrow .Jill.

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Hello Camo, I had same experience in March this year, all the wiating for results is so worrying.

 

Now I am so grateful this was found early enough to do lumpectomy rather then mastectomy.

 

I was so anxious as most are I suspect, this is what helped me but we all differnt:

 

I started a journal of my journey with breadt cancer, found postive sayings, wrote down all my feelings, fears and worries, also the funny and unexpected, like meeting other people and new friends :slight_smile:

 

I used calming teas like Camomile and Lavender

 

used essential oils in an oil burner to soothe me.

 

I found valerian in Kalms, helped the paniky feelings, as did slowing my breathing and relaxation.

 

Its all a rollorcoaster after diagnosis as treatments follow on so quickly, yet there are so many really good tretaments, that can prevent further growth for many of us.

 

I had some hard times, but putting myself first, sharing as I wished, having some treats, and the advice and support here has and is still helping me so much.

 

I also joined a breast cancer support group run by McMillan, attended some workshops with Dimbleby cancer care, and counselling sesions all helped so much.

The phone line is great so do give them a call anytime, we all help each other as we can, you are never alone on this journey :slight_smile:

 

 

 

 

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Hi Camo There’s lots of good advice for you already in this thread.  I was diagnosed in July and had lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy in September.  Just waiting to start radiotherapy on 5th November.  The first few weeks whilst you are waiting for test results and a treatment plan are definitely the worst - I promise you after that it does get better and you feel more in control. Just try to take one day at a time, don’t let your mind overthink things even though that’s very hard to do.  Keep yourself busy doing normal things.  I took the Valerian tablets as I couldn’t sleep to start with - the diagnosis is such a total shock - it just blindsides all of us. We are all here to help and I feel very positive about my treatment now.  Clearly I wish I wasn’t on this journey but I am and it is not going to define me and my life - I just won’t let it. Just keep coming back to us whenever you want to, someone will always reply even in the middle of the night.  You are not on your own I promise you.  Take care Anita xx

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Camo

 

Hello and welcome.  I have only just read your post and echo everything that the lovely ladies on here have posted to you.  We are all here with you on this journey, it does not feel like it at the moment but you will get through this and very soon be the other side of it all.

 

This is the worst time when you are waiting to get your treatment plan, but honest when you do you will feel so much better as you will know what is happening and when.  I know when I had my diagnosis and treatment plan it was almost a relief because I knew that I was gong to be sorted, they told me because it was caught early it was treatable and the outlook was very good.  I am 13 months post diagnosis, 12 months past my op and 9 months post radiotherapy, I have my life back and appreciating it every day.

 

Like you I have a partner who has MS, he was diagnosed 2 years ago September and has been housebound since last September and because of this was not able to support me.  I was so worried when I was diagnosed because I was worried how he would cope with it because of not being to come with me, but we have got through it, I have some wonderful friends who stepped up to take on helping me when I needed it.  You will get there. 

 

Are your breast team aware of your husbands MS as they will be able to help you where you need it, I know when I told them as I was so upset and worried, the consultant asked if there was anything that they could put in place to support us.

 

Sending you a gentle hug and you know that we are all here to help and support you

 

Helena xxxx

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Hello Camo, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Much of what you wrote resonated with me. I am in the same ‘new diagnosis, no plan’ phase and lurch between a zen like calm (which may just be shock) and feeling very overwhelmed and tearful.

 

Everyone is different of course, but a few things that have helped me through the last week since diagnosis are walks and exercise (a cliche but it really does help to get out and use your body a bit), watching absorbing but not demanding/upsetting TV - Great British Bakeoff and Strictly have cheered me enormously, visiting this forum when I need a bit of support from people who know where I am and spending time with those who love and know me. Perhaps the one thing that really helped me though was a telephone call with the ‘Someone Like Me’ team. I don’t know if you have come across the service, but I spoke to an amazingly gentle and supportive woman who took the time to explore what really worried and mattered to me. As a result, I am being matched with someone who has had similar experiences/concerns. I found it immensely valuable.

 

I will be thinking of you and walking my own BC path alongside you. One step at a time. Together.  

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I can totally understand your fear - it’s not a place you want to go back to when you have experienced depression but at the moment the feelings you are experiencing are totally normal - it’s shock not depression and hopefully these feelings will subside when you have all the information and you can get on with getting rid of the *****.Let us know what happens today .Jill.

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That’s good news Camo.Yes ,it’s very hard for anyone who hasn’t been through this to understand how it feels .You will feel a lot better after your op as you will moving forward and doing something to get rid of the cancer rather than in limbo .Jill

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Hi Camo, that’s really good news, just keep taking one step at a time. We are all here to support you. Have a good evening Anita xx

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I can only echo what the ladies above have said. This is the worst period of time, you are in shock. I thought that I was going mad during that period too. I weirdly felt more in control once I had a full diagnosis and treatment plan. Take all support offered and this forum is a great place for true understanding. Join the relevant treatment threads in the going through treatment area and you will get great advice and support there too.
Best wishes with your treatment xx

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You poor thing, you have a lot to deal with besides this (((hugs))).
I have always been prone to panic attacks but had largely learnt to cope with them but that went out of the window when I received my initial diagnosis. The worst period for me was after that for the 2 weeks waiting for biopsy results. I then had surgery which came back with clear margins and no node involvement but I was then told that I was HER2+ and would need chemo Herceptin and rads which I wasn’t expecting. I coped with that ok.
My first round of chemo was tough for the first few days because I didn’t know what to expect and felt wired from the steroids. I had a few terrifying nightmares during this time. Fortunately by avoiding caffeine splitting my steroid dose and having anti sickness meds I have felt more in control this time,
It’s hard to give you coping mechanisms because we are all so different. I sort of managed to slam a lid on my panic most of the time and kept busy. I also surrounded myself with cheerful people who would treat me normally rather than feed into how I was feeling.
There are people who you can ring to speak to on here and on Macmillan. Try your breast care nurse saying that you really feel that you need help too.
Fingers crossed for your husband and hang in there you can do this. Just take each day a minute at a time and don’t beat yourself up if you have bad times. Xx

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Hi Camo,
I’ve not heard of anything being said after surgery about findings, for most of us we get the final results at the first follow-up appointment with the surgeon.
I really don’t remember being told anything about driving, so maybe I got it wrong, but I was driving quite quickly, but my surgery was minor - WLE (2in incision) & no armpit incision, as the surgeon took 2 nodes out by the same incision. Obviously, do check.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re only a couple of days post surgery & it does take some days before feeling more like yourself.
Do hope your husband’s ok.
ann x

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Hi Camo ,just wanted to say -don’t be so hard on your self,lack of sleep ,anxiety ,feeling overwhelmed all normal responses to all of this .Very difficult to cope with in first few weeks and overwhelming at times.It will get better .

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Hi Camo,

 

I know how you feel with anxiety as I have suffered in the past with it on and off.  However, after my op I found as Lady Bowler said a walk really does help. I walked about two miles a day every day after the op.

 

I drove two weeks afterwards but as others have said you need to be comfortable with the seatbelt. I wore a thick padded jacket which helped.

 

My consultant popped in briefly after the op to give me the results on the SNB but I think how quick they get the results depends on the equipment the hospital have.  I was given more of my results in my follow up appointment 2 1/2 weeks afterwards.

 

Take care and good luck xx