Hello Ladies,
I’m a newbie on this forum. I would just like to thank @salbert & @naughty_boob for your support in this group. I have laughed & cried in equal measure at some of your messages.
I have been recently diagnosed with IDC stage 2 15mm, lymph nodes & HER2+ I’ve been informed I will need to start chemo before my surgery. I felt a little bit in denial initially thinking they will remove the cancer & I’ll have some treatment & I’ll be cured.
I couldn’t be more wrong! I’m dreading the treatments, sore mouth, hair loss. I still can’t decide on the cold cap option. The ladies in this group are so uplifting & I feel like I’m joining a group of friends already 🩷
Does the hospital help you with headwear/wigs or is this something you have to do yourself?
Work have been incredibly supportive, but I’m getting myself upset when I think about my future too much & feeling more upset that I’m becoming a burden to my colleagues. I haven’t even started my journey yet & at times I think how am I going to get through this!
However, I’m glad I’ve found this group of inspirational strong women.
Hi @fairycake I so sorry to hear of your diagnosis.
You may want to join our merry bunch of HER2+ and need some buddies that @salbert started as it looks like you have started your own thread. Easily done when new to the forum. I have cross linked your post to the thread so others can read it so you don’t have to rewrite.
As far as wigs and head wear, I think it depends on your hospital or trust. I’m in Wales and received a voucher towards a wig. Others have to pay it all themselves, so check with your team.
Hi @fairycake
You have started the journey. You’re at the beginning which is the hard part. You are not alone in fearing what’s to come and struggling with your emotions. It’s entirely normal.
Like you I continued to work during the investigations phase and as I had more results so my plan changed. I can honestly say that psychologically this was the most challenging part for me. Repeatedly updating family, friends and my employer. Having to say it out loud made me feel sad and it was exhausting.
Once I finally had the plan and the date to start chemo and targeted therapy I felt more in control. Whilst the prospect of it all didn’t fill me with joy I knew that I had to get on with it and would get through it and I have. It wasn’t very kind at times but it was tolerable. The surgery was fine. Easier and less painful than I anticipated. I was relieved to be rid of ‘it’ when they had both gone.
I found the HER2+ and need some buddies thread that the marvellous @naughty_boob mentioned in her reply to you invaluable. I read it from start to finish and was inspired by the women who regaled their stories with hope, humour and positivity with large dollops of reality. It was reassuring to follow their stories and to read that they have got through the different stages of the treatment path just I have and you will. X
Dearest @fairycake
I love your Username. I wish I had thought of it myself!!
Big hug to you and please come on over to our thread that @naughty_boob has posted the link to above. We’ll be with you all the way and you’ll be supported by the best bunch of women going. So glad you have found us.
Salbert
x
Morning, I saw the oncologist for the first time yesterday. She wasn’t the warmest of people I have met on this journey! I’m absolutely numb with fear & unable to function since yesterday.
She has filled me with dread about my forthcoming treatments. She explained I will feel quite poorly with the treatments they are recommending. She mentioned infection, sepsis & potential death 
& that I will never be the same person again & that I will always live in fear of the cancer.
I don’t know if I’ve been naive so far. I know it isn’t going to be an easy journey. She has absolutely knocked the stuffing out of me. The original breast surgeon I saw was much more positive & said they will get me through this & I will survive.
I have been unable to go into work today, as I can’t think straight. The fear is paralysing me.
I tried to called MacMillan & Breast cancer now support earlier. MacMillan were unable to take my call as they in were in a meeting. The VM said to call back later. Breast cancer now also said they were unable to take my call due to the volume of calls they were receiving!
Just feeling so overwhelmed & want this nightmare to end.
My darling @fairycake you have been the unfortunate recipient of a medical professional who doesn’t know how to impart information. This is one of the main reasons I switched from my original consultant with his dramatic and doom-laden delivery to the warm and empathetic one that I chose in his place. Not only did she have wonderful reviews on the internet but her PA told me she was nurturing and the difference in my mental health and how I felt about the whole process was turned around the instant I had my first meeting with her.
Sure, they have to mention all the worst case scenarios and risks, in the same way that they have to warn you that in extremely rare cases people can have an adverse reaction to a general anaesthetic, but most people are fine. I hate that this person has plunged you into a pit of fear because of their blunt manner. Come back over to HER2+ and need some buddies. Loads of the women on there will put you straight over this. We have all had this diagnosis and are living to tell the tale. Sure, some people feel awful on chemo but some don’t. I was able to work from home all the way through and many of the women on our thread carry on running and exercising. You may be one of those. As for always living in fear of cancer, well, whilst our outlook may change, I choose to see it as a wake-up call and a chance to start again. I have got rid of loads of bad habits and feel lucky to have been rinsed through with chemo and great treatment. I think we are in a better position than many people who are walking around with no idea of the state of their health.
I am sending you one of my virtual hugs and I’ll see you over on the HER2 thread. Stay with us.
Salbert
xx
Thank you @Salbert for your positive comments.
I thought I was posting on the HER2 group?
I’m unsure how to start a thread on there xx
I have spoken to the oncology nurse who supported me yesterday & explained I wasn’t happy with the oncologists demeanour. She didn’t really comment about her. She did say they are a large team & I may not have to see her again.
How would I go about changing to a different consultant? Xx
Hopefully you will not have to see the same oncologist again. If you are happy with your original breast surgeon then stay where you are and if you do have to see that oncologist again, just remember that this is someone who has a cold manner and that they will probably whack you with worst case scenarios again.
Try clicking on this link - HER2+ and need some buddies - #4657 by anb1
There are so many people on there that you will have masses of support on a daily basis. X