I have gone from feeling a lump in mid October to having an operation date for mid November for a lumpectomy and node removal . I have good friends, brothers and OH who continually offer support but I am a very practical person and just want to get on with things, right now i need things to be as ‘normal’ as possible and do the things I enjoy, including my work. The reality of this diagnosis has also made me feel lonely i don’t always want to talk about how I am feeling, even though I feel extremely scared as the operation date draws closer. In fact I was offered a cancellation this week and it threw me into a blind panic. it was at that point i realised that altough my bag is packed I am not psychologically ready. Having read some of the threads I know I am in for a challenging time. Any hints on how to reduce the fears and prepare myself for the next steps
Hi Lisea, it is all quite overwhelming isn’t it, for me I felt healthy, found a lump and then boom, I’ve been diagnosed with cancer! I was diagnosed on 11th Feb and had a lumpectomy on 1st March. I wanted everything to get going as soon possible and found the waiting for results incredibly hard, so it couldn’t be done soon enough for me. After a re-excision due to unclear margins then 15+5 booster radiotherapy sessions, I am now on Tamoxifen and feeling great. The only time I took off work was recovery time after each surgery, I worked all through radiotherapy. I remember someone telling me that having breast cancer can be a very lonely time and she was right, I did feel lonely despite being surrounded by the most wonderful family and friends, but nobody actually understood how I was feeling. And at times I didn’t actually know what I wanted or needed support wise.
Just to reassure you, the recovery after each operation was really quick, just make sure you do the exercises you are given as you may find your arm feels quite stiff in the early days. To me the operation was the start of my recovery, the quicker the lump could be removed the better!
Make sure you tell people what you need from them and don’t be afraid to say if you don’t want to talk about it or see people. I was such an emotional wreck at times that a couple of friends asked if they could visit and I had to say no - I just couldn’t cope with talking about it as it was taking over my life and I needed to be “normal” sometimes.
I hope you begin to feel more positive about your treatment and get the support you want and need from those around you. Take care, Michelle x
hi lisea,
Well, I don’t think anyone is necessarily psychologically ready as such, so what you describe is quite normal. What I found that helped, was to deal with it a stage at a time & to try to avoid worrying about things that may not happen, although easier said than done!
It’s good to try & keep things normal, but it is there & will jump into your head at unexpected moments & you may also feel differently about things which can feel a bit isolating.
It does get better as you go through the treatment plan.
ann x