Recently diagnosed

Hi all,


I’m new to the forum. Apologies for the long post…


I was formally diagnosed last week with stage 3, grade 3 triple negative invasive ductal breast cancer which my consultant has confirmed is also an inflammatory cancer.


It’s come as a complete shock and everything feels very unreal at the minute. 

It all started in Mid-December. My diagnosis took a while as originally I was sent to the head and neck clinic. I presented with a lump near my collar bone as well as one in my armpit and, because I was also having night sweats, they thought it was lymphoma. They took a biopsy, knew it was cancer, but didn’t get enough to confirm where it was coming from.


Two weeks after having the biopsy I went back to the head and neck clinic (yes two weeks!). Thank goodness the consultant sent me to the breast clinic. He just wanted to rule it out!!


I saw a fantastic breast consultant who didn’t mess around in getting mammograms, ultrasound and biopsies done. She knew what she was looking at and the biopsy results were back in two days’ Since having a CT scan and being seen in the breast clinic things have moved at lightning speed and I’m starting chemo next week.


I can’t believe how quickly it’s changed the shape of my breast. In the last 3 weeks it’s doubled in size, is completely misshapen and has a patch of what looks like sunburn on it.


They know from my scans that the cancer has spread. It’s in the tissue of my breast, lymph nodes in my neck, under my arm, near my throat and there’s a small pocket in the lining of tissues near my sternum. Tonight I’ve noticed a node starting to swell on the other side of my neck.


The good news is that it isn’t in any major organs - phew!


I’m 46 and terrified! I’ve had some tough times in my life - I’m visually impaired and began losing my sight in my early thirties.  But nothing has prepared me for this.


I am most definitely a glass is half full person, but boy I’m finding it tough to be positive at the minute. I was doing OK until I met  with the oncologist and then the reality of it all hit me full on.


I’m sure there are many women on here who’ve been through similar experiences and I do have a couple of contacts close to home who have had breast cancer, but I’m finding it hard to ask for help and advice.


I’m really unsure what to expect and whether what I’m feeling now (anger and fear) are normal.


Again, sorry for my ramblings…


Lizzie x

Hi Lizzie


Ramblings are very therapeutic. First of all, I’m sorry you have such a horrid diagnosis. No wonder you’re reeling. Your world has been turned upside down, all sorts of thoughts will be rushing through your head and both anger and fear are normal responses. To some extent or another, every one of us here has been through it and we do find our own ways of dealing with the s***. I think the best piece of advice I cn give you at this stage though is to keep away from Google. It’s a terrifying minefield of information and it can;t take your unique circumstances, let alone your emotions into account.


I found chemo a bit of a letdown after all my panicky imaginations - they do everything to mitigate the possible side effects and, though it’s long and tedious, it’s all completely bearable. Just don’t take anything that requires two hands (like knitting) because one will be linked up to a beeping drip! What comes after will depend on the drugs and how you respond to them - and that can’t be predicted but again they’ll do everything to reduce the impact on you.


Your glass half-full comment made me smile. Have you read The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse byCharlie Mackesy? There is one bit when the mole asks the boy if his glass is half full or half empty. The boy says he thinks he’s lucky to have a glass. It’s a book we should each be given with our treatment plan!


I do hope it goes well for you. As the book says, “When the dark clouds come… keep going.” I may adopt that as my motto ;) 

My very best wishes for you, Jan x

Hi ladies I didn’t want to just read and run Without saying hello good luck on your journey.

I don’t come on here very often anymore but I remember the comfort I got from people who’d been through this and come out the other side.


hopefully my story will give you some comfort too xx


I was diagnosed with stage three triple negative breast cancer in July 2013


I had a mastectomy, axillary clearance, six rounds of chemo, reconstruction surgery and later reduction of

other side to match.  I now have the boobs of a 20 year old!  Every cloud an all that ?

(I did all this living on my own, I’m a single parent too)


I’m thrilled to report that last year my oncologist signed me off.


I won’t lie chemo was tough at times and we all have our dark thoughts (usually in the middle of the night) but I promise they lessen in time.

You’ve just got to make the most of every day, enjoy life and don’t worry about the what if’s.


best of luck Nikki xx


ps if you’re doing chemo then I highly recommend you join your relevant month in the ‘going through chemo’ section of this forum.

Hey Lizzie, 

I was diagnosed with Grade 3 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma on Monday and it’s Triple Negative. 

I am due to see the Oncologist on the 13th March and will be going into chemo within the fortnight. 

I am 47 and think it’s perfectly acceptable to be happy one minute and tears streaming down your face the next right now.

Just wanted to connect with you and send you some positivity xx

Hello Lizzie and others

this is my first post, feeling very much like a rabbit in headlights.

TNBC diagnosis certainly is scary! There are some lovely supportive replies and happy outcomes which are good to read.

i had a lumpectomy a week ago, they wouldn’t do chemo first because of covid19. Mine is grade 3, not staged yet as waiting on results of margins and nodes.

I had a mammogram 8 months before I found the lump which was 32mm, this is what scares me, how can it grow that quick?

I kicked my partner of four years out just two days after my surgery as I caught him messaging another woman, it’s all a bit overwhelming.

love Nick x

Hi, im so happy and sad to have found this thread. I too have been diagnosed yesterday with the same triple negative. I was so stupid that when he was saying estrogen - negetive…and so on i thought negative was good!!! Dr. Google frightened the bejesus out of me by evening. I completely understand and can relate to all of your feelings. Ive 4 boys and they are not used to seeing me sensitive and crying non stop but sure i cant help it. I wish you well on your journey and stay strong. Please god we will be planning holidays with new bikinis for our new skinny bodies and new 2021 boobs…Im awaiting ct and mri to see if mine has spread but its already 3cm so im trying to be optomistic. they tell me definate chemo first asap