Hi, I’m 51 and recently found a lump which after a biopsy was confirmed as BC, but the MRI has picked up 3 other areas on the same boob and 1 area on the other boob that they are concerned with.
Is it normal that I’ve gone down a dark path mentally and I can’t stop thinking this will end bad for me, it’s hard to talk to family and friends as everyone trying to be upbeat but I just have a sense of doom in the pit of my stomach
Thank you for reading xx
What you are feeling is entirely normal given the news you have had.
I was where you are 18 months ago. Diagnosis of IDC and DCIS. No physical symptoms, it was picked up on my screening mammogram. The diagnostic part is tough. The uncertainty, lack of control, the waiting for investigations, appts, changing plan as results came in and of course telling the people I love. That was the hardest part for me. As the weeks went on the cancer related words slipped off my tongue with little emotion when I updated people and I stopped worrying about managing their reactions. Once I knew my treatment plan I felt better. I was no longer afraid as I was doing something to tackle it.
Like you the MRI revealed it was more extensive than the mammogram revealed and something was seen in the other breast. Biopsies confirmed that ‘it’ was in there too. Two areas of DCIS. I wasn’t shocked when I was told. It was a calm acceptance. I remain grateful for that MRI scan because without it I’d be have been facing surgery again.
From somewhere we find the strength to get through it as those before us have. Don’t look too far ahead, it’s enough to get through each day when your world as you knew it has been shaken
This forum is a safe place to share and be heard both day and night. I’ve found it invaluable. Full of sage advice, support and friendship. X
What a great post @mrsjelly.
@alfmil26 I heard some sage advice which was not to stress too much about being positive as, although it might help in terms of being able to get through the treatment, it won’t have any effect on your cancer. I really was in a place where I almost believed I could influence results and outcomes by how much I worried about them! And when I actually took the time to reflect back over my thought patterns prior to receiving those updates, there was no correlation at all. I was trying to gain control over something I have no control over by employing a method that does absolutely nothing.
So this gave me a kick up the bum to approach the investigations and treatments more pragmatically and a big part of this is, as mentioned, not looking too far ahead. I also used to be an advocate of Googling as I felt it was better to be informed, however a lot of the info I was seeing was either out of date, from a different country, outright false etc. and just inevitably caused more panic so I now stick to my care team and reputable sites such as this one.
In terms of dealing with things emotionally, I’m committed to living my life alongside dealing with the cancer as much as I can. Definitely difficult when you feel like your world has been turned upside down and I have my moments, but there is still life to live outside of dealing with the cancer treatment.
I hope you find a way to manage what lies ahead that works for you and also just to echo that there is so much support out there for you so use whatever makes you feel better. Wishing you all the best with your treatment. x
Absolutely it’s normal to feel this way @alfmil26 and that horrible pit in the stomach is awful I’m so sorry you find yourself here like this. You are still very early days of your journey so of course you’ll be feeling these things but don’t write yourself off. Treatments for breast cancer have never been better.
What happens next is lots of fact finding which will make you nervous but they want to know exactly whats going on in your breasts so that they can treat you exactly as they need to. If you spend some time here in the forum you’ll hear it repeated a lot but where you are now is the worst part. Not knowing and with no idea what’s next. Once they have a better idea and you get given a plan you will find your new rhythm.
Just to give you some hope. I am 39 years old, mum to 2 teenage girls. I was diagnosed in November with hormone positive HER2 negative BC. I have had countless biopsies, 2 lumpectomys and was given a treatment plan that includes 8 rounds of chemotherapy, radiotherapy (though I wont be having this now for other health reasons, I’ll instead be having a double mastectomy) and then hormone therapy for 10 years. Sounds a lot doesnt it! At the start of that I could not imagine how id feel through it all. I was the most anxious a peron could be, honestly it was my worst nightmare. And yet, so far I have done 5 rounds of chemotherapy and spent the morning walking happily around my local woods with my husband. Not really a care in the world considering.
Breast cancer is currently apart of my every day life but I refuse to let it ruin my life. Its just another chapter.
Sending you big hugs 
Hear! Hear! x
Aw I’m sorry to hear about your diagnosis it’s so difficult to absorb when your told the dreaded news , but its completely understandable to feel the way you do , the waiting is very daunting, I felt like my life fell apart and I had a two year old to raise, I just couldn’t talk to my family it was so hard, and very overwhelming trying to accept my diagnosis
I eventually spoke to my friend about everything , I actually had counselling which helped massively, you have so much to deal with sometimes talking to someone outside family may help you deal with what’s ahead, the treatments have moved on so much
You will move forward and have treatment it’s a tough few months ahead but you will get through it, be kind to yourself , sending positive vibes and lots of love and hugs
Stay strong we are warrior women XXX
It’s completely normal it just feels like you are in a hell whole and boy don’t talk about the anxiety please talk to you friends and family it’s ok to say do you know what I’m not ok. Good luck on your journey we are all different and deal with everything in our own way but remember don’t let people force you into feeling a certain way this is your emotion and your journey no right or wrong way. I’m here we’ve got this. Xxx
You may need to choose who you talk to about it. Some people will tell you the stupidest things that are completely irrelevant to your own situation. And some family members are so upset they don’t know how to deal with it themselves, much less be supportive to you. The BC nurse at Breast Cancer Now said to concentrate on the facts as you know them. Don’t imagine all the what ifs and maybes. Good luck girl! When in doubt go for a walk in the sunshine. xx
I’m 6 months down the line from where you are right now. Almost the same, 12mm primary IDC discovered in one breast at routine mammogram, MRI found 2 areas of concern in the other breast. After biopsy, one of these was diagnosed as an innocent papilloma, the other as a 3mm ILC
Caught very early, I’ve had surgery to remove them all and sentinal nodes in both armpit. Results were good, both sides no sign of cancerous cells.
6 months on, I’m about to have 5 days radiotherapy and am taking Letrozole.
I know it’s hard to think positive, but mindset is so powerful. I consider myself lucky that they found the ILC in MRI at such an early stage. A few more months could be a very different story.
I’m crossing everything that you too will have a good outcome from your treatment.
Hi @afmil26 sorry you find yourself here but welcome to the forum!
I’m 34, diagnosed October 25 with a 13mm IDC hormone positive, her2 negative. The 1st few weeks were the worst for me, of course the initial shock of diagnosis and fear of having 2 young children etc, then they sent me for an MRI as it wasn’t clear on the mammogram which threw 2 further lumps into the picture (one in either breast), luckily both turned out to be benign cysts after biopsies but with hindsight I’m so grateful they investigated so I know they had a full picture of what treatment I needed. I had a lumpectomy which was really straight forward, just a day case and then I got quite a high benefit result for chemo on my score so had to have that which I was genuinely petrified out but honestly it’s not been that bad. I’ve carried on doing school runs/play groups, going to the gym, walking 12-16k steps, going out with friends, having lots of fun days out with my kids, I’ve refused to let it stop me living my life. I just go easy a few days after to let me body rest and heal. Alot of people also don’t end up having chemo and go down different treatment paths of radiotherapy etc.
I chose to only tell my immediate family and have since told a school Mum friend as she was going through it too, nobody has noticed and I only have 2 sessions left!
If I had to go back in time and give myself advice it would be:
-Stay off Google, instead speak with Macmillan, your breast care nurses and this forum for current real life experiences
-Take all the support they offer that you feel comfortable with, I’ve been to a couple of groups, look good feel better course and spoke to some really inspirational people
-Choose who you tell wisely, it’s been so nice for me being able to fly under the radar and people (especially school Mums 
) not asking how I am and being all sympathetic everyday. I’ve just been able to get on as normal and forget about treatments as I have them every 3 weeks and only 2 or 3 tired days so after that’s it’s business as usual!!
-I know this is so hard but try and not think of the what ifs, put your trust into your medical team that they will take care of it all for you and tailor your treatment specifically to you. Try and put your focus onto something else. For me it was my kids, the gym and being healthy (the healthy has took abit of a hit because chemo is making me crave so many carbs 
)
-Be kind to yourself, don’t think you have to be positive all the time because this is hard, cry, shout, lie in bed, do what you need to do and then get up and try again. You will find the strength to get through it, I can finally see the light at end of the tunnel
I’m sending you so much love, I was exactly where you are 7 months ago and never in a million years imagined life could ever feel normal again but it really did for me. 95% of the time my life just feels like it did before diagnosis.
Xxxxxxx