Hi Tor
This is such a personal thing for yourself. Two years later and you don’t sound very happy, despite reassurances from, an obviously, loving husband and children. You’ve stated “I hate it”. So I guess you either go for some kind of help/therapy to improve your self image about yourself as you are. Or you bite the bullet.
I’m guessing your friends recon, was a self tissue one, as you said she still suffers with her scars. Have you looked into Implant recon, as a quicker option healing time wise, with no “extra” scars to your breast nor to whatever other part of your body a self tissue is taken from.
Implants are so much better than they used to be - longer lasting, anatomically shaped so that much more natural looking, as opposed to half a sphere that looks plonked on. The incision (approx 6 cm) to insert the initial expander is made along your existing scar, hence no “extra” scarring to the breast area, much shorter op, and quicker healing. Less risk of infection, because of fewer scars. Just requires a few short follow up appointments, to inject more saline to gradually expand to the required size, before another short op to replace with the permanent silicone implant. Then when healed again (not long) and settled, the option to have nipple recon is there. And then the final icing on the cake, when you’re ready to, or again if you want it, is having the areola tattooed.
Yes, it’s a lengthier process, in that it’s done in stages, but the op times and healing times are shorter, with none of the risk of the self tissue dying. And an option to have your natural breast tweeked at some later stage, if it requires some matching up.
It could fit your self employed work situ better, and be less of a fear for you, while at the same time provide a long term filling of that empty space you seem to be missing so much.
I felt like you did without one breast for a year, then without two for seven years. Wanted immediate implant only recon with both. Didn’t want extra scarring, healing time, extra infection risks or of tissue death, but it didn’t happen due to surgeon thinking I wanted tissue recon. Long delay to finally embark on due to other life stuff/difficulties. Am still at expander stage, but I felt immediately better, appearance and therefore confidence wise, just from having those installed.
I’m single, had always been body proud, and just didn’t feel very womanly any more, so it was important to me. Discovered I’d missed the outer underarm curve as well as the up front curve.
Yes, implants “may” need replacing after 20 yrs, but, as said, they “are” that much better nowadays, longevity and shape wise, so may “not”. But they have to warn you, just in case. All the recent scares with PIP implants leaks, were of a particular type of silicon and were never “approved”. Current ones are that much more stringently tested, and ARE approved.
You may have already had discussions about self tissue options, but not the implant option.
Hope this may be of some help to you, Tor.
Good luck with whatever you choose to do, and that you feel better.
Lots of love, Delly xxx