Hello everybody, not been on here for a long while but just wandered if any of you ladies had any words of wisdom you could share.
I’ll just give you all a little re cap. Im 33 and was diagnosed with BC last April, had a mx, lymph glands were clear had 7 rounds of chemo which finished in Dec, currently having herceptin and on Tamoxifen.Due to have my reconstruction operation on 16th March Im having a LD flap and Im also having my healthy breast removed and LD flap on that side too for preventitive measures. I cant believe the journey ive been on i never thought I would ever get to this point.Its been so hard and ive had so many down times but ive got through it (not sure how) just the last major hurdle (my op) to get through now. I find that if I keep all my emotions locked up inside Im ok, I can carry on being a wife and mummy to my 2 young daughters and working etc but if someone asks me how am I doing (normally my great BCN or chemo nurses) I fall to pieces, Im not sure why this happens.I know im very lucky to catch the BC early &I tell myself this everyday, my lymph glands were clear n the cancer has gone, my oncology doc is happy with me and has said he doesnt expect any further problems but Im not sure how Im going to put this behind me & move on without worrying none stop about everything.I suppose it will get easier as time goes by but its so raw at the min. Sorry Im babbling on Im just writing what comes into my head.
I wait with anticipation for any welcoming responses xx

hello - we got our dx at about the same time - I’m your age group at 31. I’ve just finished all my treatment - i’m delighted.

what you wrote struck a chord withe me - could you maybe have some professional counselling - it might take some of the pressure off those moments when people ask how you are…
also if you are working and have 2 young kids its no surprise you are not able to talk about how you really feel. you are ‘keeping it together’ all of the time. i was the same. personally - i only talked about the darker side of how I was feeling to very specific people - namely professionals as this was most comfortable for me - with my fam and friends I just wanted to be as happy and normal as possible and enjoy myself despite treatment. i found the counselling so helpful as it gave me a dedicated hour a week to actually process my feelings and make sure i was seeing everything for exactly what it was.
everyone worries to different extents - at time of writing i’m not much of a worrier about ‘the bigger picture’ but of course i understand your fears as I have them too - somewhere in the recesses of my brain! - even though i dont have small children to think about like you. however if this exp has taught me anything its to enjoy life and not to take anything too seriously if you dont have to - even cancer!i am sensitive to the fact that you have kids and I dont have that perspective btw . kids or now kids however - its very understandable to be scared but i have just accepted it and appreciate life from a slightly different perspective now. before i didn’t think about my mortality much and now i do - but i don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. just my thoughts - hope they are not annoying or insensitive in any way !!
i wish you a speedy recovery from your op and hope you are as pleased as possible with the result.
with every best wish to you X

I’m 38 and was diagnosed at the beginning of April last year. Had chemo, mastectomy with immediate reconstruction (LD flap)and radiotherapy. Finished treatment mid Jan and just getting back to work in last few weeks. I was really positive throughout treatment and just got on with things, everyone kept commenting on how positive I was but March has been my blip. Its both mine and my partners birthdays in March and we had a lovely time celebrating last year, completely oblivious to the fact I had cancer and since we’ve hit March I cant stop thinking about that. Im dreading my birthday coz any significant dates are now followed by what if this my last one. Its completely irrational because I had a brilliant response to chemo and am currently clear of cancer but have become very pathetic and tearful!! If I have a difficult decision to make, such as what to have for tea, it can reduce me to tears!!! Hoping Ill pick up once I get Match over with.
Hope the surgery goes well x

You may find the following article helpful - it explains why holding it together through treatment and then falling apart afterwards is normal:

A brilliant article - thanks for sharing :slight_smile:

Locket - the very best of luck with your operation, hope you recover quickly xx

Thanks Roadrunner, Found the article. Made me cry - surprise, surprise- but made perfect sense. Going to print it off and keep it with me.
Thank you x

That should have said found the article really useful!

Hi all…reading your posts reminded me of how I felt last year. I was diagnosed March 2011. Had all the treatment required and returned to work September. Unfortunately developed pneumonia and was quite ill for a while[they think I have pneumonitis from radio]
I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress syndrome in September and have seen a psychologist since [finishing soon].this has been quite traumatic for me as I am normally seen as a woman in control . I have a senior position in the health care setting and manage a home ,hubby and two kids.
I had my Diep recon in Jan .I believed I was totally prepared and I wasnt . However I am recovering well and looking forward to going back to work soon.
Everyone I talk to [I have two close friends who were also diagnosed in their 40s] feel the same. I agree with the article that you are on a roller coaster but for many of us we will climb off. My biggest thing to learn throughout the sessions was that it is ok to feel what we feel and that given time and support our brains will process it and it will not be so scarey forever. approach your oncologist for referral to counselling as it is now recognised the trauma cancer patients experience and help should be there xx