I did my first round of chemo 5 days ago and I’m looking for any stories of hope and encouragement out there.
I’m finding the whole thing so difficult, physically yes but also emotionally. I’m not usually so defeatist but I’m wondering things like if i will ever recover from this experience and feel happy/strong again.
I’ve mostly been in bed for the past 5 days and unable to look after my little ones. Luckily I’ve got loads of help but it’s getting me down. I’m not sure I can face these coming months.
Sorry to moan, just really looking for some encouragement and hope.
Hi mumbles, please jump onto the September 2019 chemo starters thread ??you will all get each other through chemo Promise. Don’t be too harsh on yourself, you need to pace yourself through chemo even though you want to sprint through it like usain bolt, it’s more of a heptathalon/decathlon, with a bit of long jump, high jump, pole volt thrown in ???Shi xx
Hi Mimbles, do what Shi said, and meet others going through the same thing as you on the September thread. You say you have little ones, so you know who you are fighting for. Don’t forget, you are stronger than you look, and much braver than you feel. The treatments do come to an end, I promise you. The success rate for BC is extremely high, and there are hundreds of us on here to prove it. It’s normal to have highs and lows on this journey, but the trick is to stay positive. Focus on getting through this so you see your little ones grow and flourish. We’re with you on this, every step of the way. Bless you. ?
I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time. Many of us do and my comments may not sound hopeful or encouraging but they are well-intentioned. I really don’t like the cancer-language of strength and fighting and battles. Your post shows me why - you almost seem apologetic for feeling emotionally drained. Why should you? It’s not a failure. Anyone being told of this diagnosis and then knowing what treatment lies ahead would be reeling - it’s not defeatist, it’s human! But we are also all different - some people sail through it all, some are flattened. It’s nothing to do with mental strength/weakness. It’s bad luck.
The cruel fact is, you have cancer. You have opted for treatment so the prognosis is very good. There’s your hope. Unfortunately the treatment is the worst part of it and lasts months but your body knows what to do to protect you against the onslaught so listen to it. If you feel like a zombie, accept it - it will pass. If you feel totally wiped out by fatigue, YOU decide whether you want to try and break the barrier with a bit of exercise or just rest, not some leaflet or sympathetic friend who’s clued up on Dr Google. There are times when you may feel it’s all too much - they pass. If you are on a three-week cycle right now, you may find by week 3 you feel almost recognisable again, if not Superwoman. You have a breastcare or oncology nurse you can contact for reassurance any time - and your state of mind is as important as your physical experience so don’t write it off as defeatist - talk about it openly, like you would any rash or internal turmoil.
Please don’t expect to be the same woman during or after treatment: this is a major trauma with major impact, not just on you but on all who care for you. You are already different. That doesn’t mean you are less. What’s important is not to let the bc define you at any stage - you are still you, just often without the blood cells you desperately need and not up to most of the demands people usually make of you. Be kind to yourself, cliche though it is.
I so want to say ‘stay strong,’ but why on earth should you - and what if you can’t? I’d be planting a seed of potential failure when in fact most things right now are (or feel) beyond your control. If you get knotted with constipation or can barely drink a cuppa and burst into tears of frustration, those are the results of the chemo, not weakness, not defeatism. You’ll get through it. The important thing is to remind yourself why you are putting up with the misery and inconvenience: you trust you’ll come out the other side with renewed health and recovered vigour. And we’ll see you there.
Promise. Don’t be too harsh on yourself, you need to pace yourself through chemo even though you want to sprint through it like usain bolt, it’s more of a heptathalon/decathlon, with a bit of long jump, high jump, pole volt thrown in ???