Hi All
I haven’t been on here for a while but had a pretty depressing appointment with my oncologist at my latest annual check and wanted some advice/info/reassurance.
I was diagnosed with IDC in 2007 when I was 28. It was a large 8cm tumour, in 14/25 nodes and was ER/PR negative but HER2 positive. I had full mastectomy and node clearance, chemo, rads and herceptin for a year. I was told subsequently I was in the menopause, but went on to have my beautiful precious boy in March 2012.
I have been clear ever since, touch everything wooden in sight. At the time of my diagnosis I had an amazing oncologist who was positive - talked about getting me well to live and long, healthy, happy life and refused to talk stats with me as in his words “You’re either 100% one thing or the other and you won’t know til you get there.”
At this appointment (where all my scans were once again clear) my oncologist took it upon herself to stress what a terribly high risk of recurrence I had, that the risk would always be there and to make sure I incoporated it into life decisions ie making sure my partner would be able to bring up our son should anything happen to me. I told her that I had deliberately never had this conversation that I was trying my best to be healthy and that of course my partner and I had talked about it. For God’s Sake this bloody disease is who I am now, I’ve carried this worry and fear (increased a million fold since becoming a mother) every second of every day for the last nearly 7 years.
So - now I keep obsessing about my risk and I don’t want to. Am I being totally naive to think that the passage of time is a good thing here and there is actually hope I could stay healthy? I don’t want to be an idiot in all this.
Thanks in advance for all your advice and support
Liz xx