Hi all,
I found a lump last week when I was lying in bed. I’ve no idea what made me put my hand straight to it - I wasn’t checking my breasts. Anyway, saw my GP earlier this week, and she felt that it probably wasn’t anything sinister. She suspects it’s a fibroadenoma. It’s soft and moveable and sort of round/oval. She referred me on the Breast clinic because all lumps are referred, but as a routine rather than an urgent referral. Actually, she was great.
My problem is the emotional side of all this. I’m swinging between feeling all “mature” and calm about it (yesterday), and feeling like I just KNOW that it’s actually cancer (today). It’s things like the fact that I can see a vein on the affected breast, and I’ve read that’s a sign of cancer (hey, thanks Google!!). Or the fact that I just felt something was a bit off with that breast a few months ago, but forgot about it because I didn’t find a lump. It’s hard not to start joining the dots and coming up with a worst case scenario. Also, my breast feels super lumpy now, whereas the other one feels normal. And I’m not sure whether my nipple looks different - I think the shape might be slightly off. But then again I defnitely do have a lump and whatever type it runs out to be, maybe that would push things slightly out of place?
That’s it really. I don’t have a question as such, unless anyone has some good tips for staying sane. I’m just finding it really hard, as I’m sure a lot of other people using this site are. maybe I just needed to get that off my chest. No pun intended! Take care everyone.
Hi Eleanor R
I’m sorry to hear that you are having a pretty tough time at the moment. I’m sure the users of this site will be along to support you soon.
In the meantime maybe you would like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer you a listening ear as will as emotional support and practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 to 2.00.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
Hi Eleanor,
I’m in roughly the same position as you, awaiting developments after learning 10 days ago that something might be wrong. I’ve also had the experience of going from “hey, it’s cool, I’m going to sail through this” to worst case scenarios! I think a few emotional ups and downs are normal in a situation like this. The breast clinic will have all the resources available to find out exactly what’s happening and what to do about it, if treatment is needed.
People say the waiting is the worst part, and I’ve certainly found it difficult. I was off work on holiday for the first few days, and I felt better once I went back to the office and had that to occupy my mind. I’ve also found doing puzzles and watching DVDs helps, just undemanding stuff to hold my attention but which doesn’t require me to do much.
Best of luck for your trip to the breast clinic. There are some very helpful people on this board and some of them will probably come along later to respond to you.
Thanks so much for the response. I’ve also found it easier at work - my worst moments have all been when I’m unoccupied. Puzzles sound ike a great idea, so I’ll break out my codewords book!