Katytc - Thanks for your kind words, appreciate it x
Elinda45 - Thanks for your kind words too, I know what you are saying and you are right
Katytc - Thanks for your kind words, appreciate it x
Elinda45 - Thanks for your kind words too, I know what you are saying and you are right. I guess the thing that keeps me slightly open minded at the moment is the person I see now is not the kind, caring, loving person I knew 12 months ago.
I dont think I would have coped with it to be honest if I had not found this site with all you lovely ladies on who dont mind sharing your experiences. My only regret is not finding it sooner as maybe then it would have saved everything. On the plus side I finally found it and I have given my thoughts and expereinces to other partners and recomended some good reading for them so although it seems a bit black for me at the moment, I do take a degree of comfort in knowing I can help others. I am always around ladies so dont hesitate to point any OH’s in my direction and they can sound off at me and share experiences. I have also suggested to the site that they advertise more that it is also for partners and maybe they should also think about having a “partners live chat” who knows.
All the best and god bless you all xx
What a good idea about the partners live chat, HB!
And you’re always welcome.
I agree with that too. How lovely for partners to be able to get support like that. I know my husband would have welcomed it.
Homerboy - you’re right there, the difficulty of the diagnosis, getting through treatment and then the associated identity loss/crisis that can come with breast cancer can lead many of us I think to act out of character - I certainly did.
take care, elinda x
Hi All
Well been some time since I have been on here so here is a little update. Not a happy ending so far but gradually coming to terms with it. Have given my ex lots of space to the point where we have not actually spoken since end of last year. Listening to everyones comments on here I decided it was the best option to let things settle down and for us both to have some thinking time. About a month ago I picked up the phone and we had a brief chat for 30 minutes and all was perfectly friendly and amicable, to the point I even got a “Thanks very much for phoning”. I have now left it for another month as didnt want to invade her space and create pressure, I have been trying for over a week to make contact, not everyday, and I get greeted by the phone being not answered, or ignored. We even crossed paths again back end of last week and I as I went to speak she just turned away and walked past as if I wasnt there.
I really dont understand it and have never been so hurt in my 45 years on this Earth.
I am quite an amicable person and will do anything to help anybody and I just done know what I have done that can be so bad that I get this reaction. This is a horible horrible horrible disease and the things it does to people are horrendous.
I want to move on now but I cant bring myself to do it. I am still very much in love with her and to even think about having any sort of relationship with anyone else fills me with guilt.
The moral of the story is guys is get to grips with all of this stuff early and dont make the simple mistakes I did.
All the best.