Results Next Week - scared

Hi,

I found two lumps two weeks ago and went to the Breast Clinic on Friday just gone. Had a mammogram and ultra-sound. The Consultant Radiologist could only find one lump, did a core biopsy and said he thinks I have fibrodeonema but the Breast Nurse was concerned over another lump that the ultra sound couldn’t find (but both me and the nurse could) and she did another core biopsy on that lump. Quite bruised now.

But my main concern is when I go on Wednesday, how do I / they know that the tissue they took from the 2nd core biopsy is from the lump and not just from tissue surrounding it (it wasn’t guided by the ultra-sound and the lump does move about a bit) - I’m worried that if it comes back benign that they won’t have actually tested the lump - does that make sense? My mum had two seperate lumps and one recurrance so feeling quite vulnerable.

Also - I am just generally feeling very weepy and tired. I can’t believe I’ve got to get through two days yet… but then I feel guilty as there are people in far far worse positions than me. I also feel like I should be making a real effort to go out and enjoy all that life has to offer but all I want to do is lie low, be quiet and keep private - I can’t quite face people, if you know what I mean.

Sorry - waffling - but I live alone…

L x

Hi Betsy
I do understand fully all your worries and they are absolutely normal, especially if you live alone and want to keep it all quiet till you know for sure.
I did the same-it was the only way I could cope. All I can say is that worrying won’t change a thing-just loose you sleep and make you feel even worse.
There is a phone line here Monday to friday and I have used it to cry, question and get advise so I really hope youll try it for some support.
The only consolation is we all understand on here and we are here if you want to unload further.
Be kind to youeself and take care
Cathie x

Hi Betsy0 - Sorry you are having all these worries on your own. It is understandable how you feel. You are in a state of shock. If you don’t want to go out, can you chat to anyone on the phone about it? If not, you could ring the helpline on here.

When I had my biopsies (two, on different days), the doctors took several stabs at them, to make sure that they did get it. Mine were done using ultra-sound for guidance. Your radiologist must have been sure that he/she could feel where it was, otherwise, how could he/she possibly know where to do it? When you get your results, make sure you voice your concerns. Otherwise, you will drive yourself mad with worry, even if the results are good - which I truly hope they are.

Let us know how you get on. Good luck!

Ann xxx

Thank you both for your support. Doesn’t help that I am also pre-menstral so weepy from that too!

With regard to your point about the ultrasound Ann - they didn’t use it to take the biopsy of the 2nd lump. The Nurse Practitioner did it by ‘feel’, which is what is worrying me I guess. How does she know that the needle went into the lump and not just any old bit of my breast. But you’re right - I absolutely will voice these concerns on Wednesday.

I have talked to a couple of friends and was supposed to be out on a picnic with them today but another friend (who I haven’t told - not so close) and her kids wanted to join us and it was just too much for me - I couldn’t face trying to be ‘normal’ all day but I don’t want to talk to everyone about it either. But have spent the day in a bikini (sod the bloody great dressings on my breast!) on my balcony, reading the papers and chilling, which has been lovely. Had a snooze in the sun.

That’s another thing - I am soooo tired all the time. I could literally sleep for England. Except at about 5am when I am waking up. Everyday. I guess it’s stress.

Thank you again - it is good to be able to come here but I do feel a bit guilty when there are people who have actually been diagnosed and are in more need of support than me.

L xx

Hi again.
You are soooo wrong!!!We all need support at every stage of this journey, you are equally in need of TLC and understanding as the rest of us.If it all turns out to be a fibrodenoma, great but its still been a scarey time, so PLEASE dont hold back if you need a ‘cyber-hug’ ((((( X )))))

I agree. That is just what this site is for, so please don’t feel guilty. We have all been where you are now, Betsy, and we all benefited from being able to share our fears and concerns. Some have better outcomes than others, but we all sympathise. It is a scary time. Do come back any time you feel the need. There are always people on here, even in the middle of the night, who like you, can’t sleep.

Ann xxx

Thank you both - it was great to come here and get support yesterday. Just today and tomorrow to get through but I’m working so that should help occupy my mind a bit.

I would normally talk to my parents but a) my mum came out of hospital last week (she’s 70) and b) my dad goes in on Friday! I will of course tell them if it is basd news but don’t want to worry them unecessarily at an already difficult time - especially as my mum has had breast cancer on 2 seperate occassions…

Roll on Wednesday (kind of…)

Thank you again x