Results of biopsy next Friday, feeling mentally nunb

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21

Hello Capel dear friend,

No you don’t have to worry about what side you sleep on - it wont make a ha’peth of a difference to aggravate/worsen it. But the fact that you know it’s there and what you’re facing is likely to aggravate your sleep !!

I’m soooo touched by you and your daughters relationship and her reaction. Brought back memories for me in that, when I initially found my first lump, unlike yours it was the size of a marrowfat pea, but hard and mobile. Mmm, I’d better get this checked out with my GP, just in case. I didn’t tell my Mum about it - I didn’t want to concern her and she was going away for a five day break. I wasn’t too concerned myself at the time, positively thinking it may be nothing to worry about, having heard of other womens breast lumps being benign. So saw my GP whilst Mum was away. My GP was a female one and very very hot to react. Little did I know that it showed all the classic pre scan signs of something more serious. I’m ever thankful to her, for a very speedy referral and my shower sponge falling to bits!!

My Mum was back after my GP appointment. So I had to have a conversation that I’d found a hard lump in my breast, the GP was concerned and I’d to go for Mammogram and further tests that week. She came with me to those and fortunately came with me to the result appointment, 'cos I was on the floor when they told me. We left the hospital BOTH in a state of massive shock, called in at the local Co-*p for a bottle of whiskey on the way back. Sat at the kitchen table talking and got p**d. Ended up falling into bed, snuggled up like a mother and small child. She was devastated. She, like any loving, caring parent, feared the most awful thing - that she may lose me before her. It isn’t the normal, natural order of nature is it.

I’d been her rock through Dads terminal cancer and death and then both her two ensueing knee replacement ops. She was my rock in all my BC.

I still have a lovely card she put in my hospital bag for my first op. A beautiful painting by Turner, because she knew how much I loved art and the Impressionists. It said, “Always remember how much I treasure you, my Darling girl”. And I DID survive her, through both of my BC’s, but I lost my most beautiful, bestest ever friend when she passed away 6 years ago.

Sorry, if I’ve got you all in tears, but I’m speaking from my heart.

 

Capelmum - cherish each other. It matters that much more the older you become and especially at times like this.

Loadsa love and hugs to all

DoolallyDelly xxxx  

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Oh Delly, I am lost for words. I was already in tears before I had ready half of your message. You clearly had the most beautiful and amazing relationship with your mum. She sounds wonderful, as are you ! You are such an inspiration to me.

I am very fortunate to have Laura, she is everything you could wish for in a daughter. We have had a lovely few days with her home, it has helped us both I think. We are just driving her back to London now and the picking our son up who has been to Bournemouth to look at the Uni with his girlfriend this weekend. We haven’t told him yet but will need to shortly as he goes back to uni shortly. I must admit I am so thankful that this had not happen when they were younger. Delly, do you have children ? How old were you when you were first diagnoses ? You don’t need to answer my questions if you prefer not to, I am just curious. You are a truly amazing woman and I am very grateful to have met you.

23

Have any of you had work ask you to see a 3rd party occupational health company, the one they use is Corazon, and if so where they actually of any help or just there to cover the companies backsides ! HR have asked me to contact them to complete more form and to have a telephone interview with them, but the wording gives the impression that it is not compulsory and as such I don’t really want to do it. Anyone got any experience in this area ?

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hi capel,
This seems to be the arrangement these days, I work in the nhs & the Trust I work for also has an outsourced arrangement, it is policy where I am, that you have an appointment if sick leave exceeds 4 weeks.
I had a phone interview, they go through your situation, look at any support you need & make recommendations to your employer. I requested a phased return which was implemented.
Obviously, your employer has to comply with the law, but it is also to protect your interests. I did’nt realise until OH told me that a cancer diagnosis is covered by the Disabilities Act, which is useful to know, in protecting your employment interests, so I would suggest it is worth doing.
ann x

25

Thanks Ann, I have never had any dick leave and as yet have not even had my op yet and they already askrd me to have a telephone interview with Corazon, a 3rd party out sourced company. The email I received definitely gives the impression that it is my choice to speak to them or not. Having checked the companies website it is very spare my that they are being employed by the employer to benefit the company, there is no section in the website aimed at the employee ! As this is the case I am inclined to decline it at this stage and only to revisit it if my diagnosis changes after surgery. Am I over reacting or should I speak to Corazon directly to see what their stance us in relation to the employee ? Amy suggestions are always gratefully appreciated as not convinced I am thinking straight. Today was the first time since the original mammogram that I cried and it was this that set it off. Ridiculous I know :frowning:

26

Just noticed my spelling mistake ! Should have read “sick leave” … Oops !

27

Not ridiculous, at all Capel!, I got tearful with the nurse at my pre-op assessment & had a melt down on a nightmare journey to get to my mri scan appointment!
In my case, it was a requirement to go to OH, does your employer have a policy on this? Obviously, only you can decide, but if your employer is not pushing it, then maybe see how you feel.
ann x

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Thanks Ann. The wording of the HR email is all about how they want to refer me as it will be for my benefit and how it will allow the company to better understand my condition, but I have to give them my consent if they are to refer me. The Corazon website makes no reference to the employee at all only to the benefits to the employer. Hence my reluctance at this early stage to use them. It does not say j have to and I cannot find anything in their policy about it other than if you are off for more than 4 weeks they with hold the right to request further information and I have not been off at all yet. I think I will call Corazon tomorrow and see how impartial they really are. Thanks for your advice. Regards Capel

29

Panicking !

 

Due have pre open appointment tomorrow and hAve a stinking cold. Does anyone know if this will be a problem and cause them to postpone my lumpectomy next week???

 

I have taken everything I can find and nothing is touching it. 

 

Any advice grateful appreciated :slight_smile:

 

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Ooooh - Capel. No, I can’t give you anything definite, But a cold can easily be cured in a week !! Night Nurse serves well to “dry” it up.

With ref to your employment issues - you might find it very beneficial to get in touch with Sue-HS on “Why do I feel this way” - in the Coping with Fear and Anxiety. Have a conflab. Am hoping you’ll be able to help each other.

Love and a big hug

Dellywelly xxx

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Hi Delly,
Well the cold turn will only be a problem if it has gone to my chest before the op. Unfortunately I am one of those people who rarely gets a cold but when I do it nearly always goes to my chest and leaves me with a cough for weeks afterwards, so head current stuck in a steam bath, Vicks on my feet with socks on overnight and night nurse are all part of my new routine. Sadly that was the least of my troubles, blood pressure was ! I have never had high blood pressure reading until yesterday. The first one was 174/91 which she said needed to be under 90 so she did it again straightaway, well calming thoughts and trying to breath made no difference at all and the 2nd one was 179/95. So then had to have an ECG. I now have to go to GP surgery tomorrow to have the nurse do it again. So as you can guess my latest google fest has been on ‘how to lower your blood pressure’. Lump is hurting intermittently now and is a constant reminder that I want it out now :frowning:
Work is crazy busy so taken day off for the BP test in the hope that I can remain very calm. On a more positive note I have a team meeting today with the other mortgage advisors in my region and they we are all being taken out to dinner afterwards, so something to look forward too. I just need to stay positive and not cry. I am normally very positive and up beat but for some ridiculous reason whenever some one says 'how are you ?" And hugs me I end up crying. I read through the posts from Sue HS and will reply to her today as her job seem very similar to mine, she does seem to have been very badly treated by her firm. Mine have not mentioned anything since so we will just have to wait and see, but I think they will play fair as they are a big family run firm.
Delly, as always thank you for you time and patience in reading my rambling. Take care and feel free to reply when ever you need support or a shoulder to cry on. I will always be here. Love Fiona x

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Hi Ann,
BP check at surgery with the nurse today was a bit of a disaster. The first 2 were so bad that when I asked what they were she just said “I am not even going to tell you !” So ended up tearful and sent in to the GP who was lovely and tried to calm me down and had several more attempts but best one she could get was still 91 so sent me home with BP tablets to try to correct it by next weeks op. Spoke to boss yesterday who has be amazing so far and agreed that as my job is quite stressful, I can work from home on the two days before and not take on anything else new from now one. Colleagues have all be brilliant and taken work off of me too to help lighten the load.
Ran in to a neighbour at the surgery too who is signed off for 8 weeks due hysterectomy so agreed to get together for coffee after my op so as we both have someone to share with and just let it all out, and have a good cry if necessary. not something you really feel you can do with family of colleagues, too busy trying to be a duck on water and kid everyone in to believing it’s not a big deal. Really looking forward to the op now. Will touch base with you all again next week. Thank you Ann X
Love Fiona

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Hi Lovely Ladies

Capel - hows your cold? Vick on your feet - haha, that’s a new one. Forgot to mention Beechams Hot Lemons (in preference to any others), are also brill at  drying you up. With extra 1/2 a lemon squozen in and extra honey. 3-4 a day, one first thing morning, lunchtime, teatime and I often add a dose of whiskey to a night time one before bed. But don’t combine with Nightnurse. Anyway BOTH dry a cold up. Mine are often gone in 4-5 days with them.

Sorry to here about your BP probs too, so am keeping my fingers crossed everythings right for next week.

Hope you enjoyed your works dinner. People do understand if you break down, it’s an incredibly upsetting thing to go through.

I’m so glad you replied to Sue H-S. Thanks for that. I know she’s very upset about and struggling with her employment issues, even if she tries not to let it get her down - she’s seems a very strong cookie, but a bit of extra help never goes amiss, espesh when you’re a single sole bread earner. A whole load of extra cr*p on top of the BC. Plus, it’s unfamiliar ground to have to wade through. So I really hope you can help each other out, although you seem to have a more understanding boss and employee so far.

 

Hi Ann-m - hope you’re doing well too, are you? Where are you up to with things?

Lotsa love Delly xxx 

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hi fiona, so glad to hear your work is supportive, mine was too & it makes such a difference. Such a shame so many others have such hassle.
Good luck with the bp, it’s all so stressful at this stage, so its not surprising it goes a bit haywire.
Like you, I looked forward to the op (wle &snb) &, oddly, quite enjoyed the whole experience, also having a nice chat with the anaesthetic team whilst on the table before going under.

hi delly, yes, I’m fine now, back to normal & routine follow-up, so I feel quite lucky really.

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Hey again Ann, I’m so with you on Anaesthetists - I’ve often found them the NICEST of medics I’ve ever had to come across. Thats a huge big banging compliment to all of them out there.

I’ve had soooo many recent probs, due to being immuno compromised in my arms and to having cannulas inserted by “others”, such as radiographers, elsewhere OTHER than my arms, and its downright failed.Had NO probs at all with Anaesthetists carrying out cannulation other than in my arms. However . . . I needed to have a more detailed CT scan of my liver and didn’t have, simply because the radiographers weren’t trained to give me a cannula in my foot/feet or anywhere other than my arms.

There is something to be strongly said in the future training of radiographers. I cannot surely be the only woman, in my town, who can’t have needles in both her arms, nor blood pressure cuffs. Somebody out there please take note. My “current” hospital also failed to organise some one else to, i.e an anaesthetist or other such CAPABLE doctor? They were supposed to!! but it DID’NT happen. Should I have future probs, that would/could possibly have been found sooner with that more detailed scan that didn’t happen, I’m afraid I’ll be gunning for them and it. I gave it TWO attempts, at two different appointments, with two different radiographers to cannulate me for the contrast medium. VERY poor/bad management.     I’m not one to usually or ordinarily complain about ANYthing. BUT, I WILL DO about this, should I need be

Lotsa love

Dellydoodah xxx.        

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Hi Ladies, lively to hear from you all !

Charys, no this is first time I have had high blood pressure. Some thing else to add to my long list of this to work on after my Op !

Ann, with you on anaesthetists, I had a local when I had my hysterectomy and the anaesthetist had a lovely bedside manner (and rather attractive) so I had a very pleasant chat with him, didn’t notice them doing the op at all ! This one will be a general and just as well as its a bit more in your face so to speak than the last one. Also I am not good with the sight of blood, yuck.?

Delly darling, thank you for all of the advice on how to beat the cold. It has not gone to my chest? The GP checked and is now ready and waiting in the wings with the antibiotics, just in case. The Surgery have finally twigged that I exist and called me latter in the day to book a follow up appointment as they have BC, as they like to see everyone within 3 weeks of them being diagnosed, not sure where they have been for the last 7 weeks, never mind, better late than never. Sweetie, I am so sorry to hear about the issues you have been having, I do feel for you. I have no clue what a canulation is but I am going to google it right now so that I better understand. In the meantime please accept a big hug from me. (((:heart:))).

Well nearly time to get up and head to work, Duck on Water !!

Thinking of you all. You bring me strength at my low times and inspire me the rest of the time.
Speak soon. Fiona x

37

Well had my op today , lumpectomy and 2 nodes removed. Blood pressure behaved itself. Other than the obvious soreness and feeling very tired, all good. Back to the waiting game now. Signed off for weeks results due back shortly after that. Hope you are all good, love Fiona x

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Well done Fiona.

Do you have to stay “in” or were you discharged same day to recover at home?

Oooooo lovey, hope you heal and recover quickly without any probs.

Tell me, as your name is “Capel” - are you in or from Wales?? as in Capel Curig etc.?Just wondered.

Lotsa of love and cwytches

Dellywelly xxx

39

I’ve just made a point of checking back to see when your 1st post was 18/9. I can’t believe, and I sure you can’t, that’s it’s only a month since. Awwww, you’ve been through so much in just one month flower. I do feel for you. You should find me in your pocket, to give you a loving “Hello” and a big, big hug.

Mee xxx

40

Hi Delly,
Not that Capel I am afraid. It is Capel St Mary, a village in Suffolk, just a few miles north of the Essex border.
It was a very painful nights sleep, so glad to be up and about today. Yes I did get to come hone the same day, the staff there were all lovely but nothing quite like being back in your own home and your own bed.
It really has been a whirlwind month. I did speak to occupational health in the end and the only bit that was vaguely useful was not to do any work at all as doing a little from home could be misconstrued as my being fit to work. Anyway signed off for 2 weeks for now. My daughter comes home tomorrow so some one to chat to and watch chick flicks with, the kind my husband would hate!

What part of the country are you from ? Do you have any one around looking after you?

Take care and thank you for the lovely hug. A virtual hug is perfect at the moment as a real one would hurt like hell ?

Love Fiona x