Results of biopsy next Friday, feeling mentally nunb

Public Archive
41

Flip, just lost another message. Have to start again.

 

Hi Ann - I remember feeling the same thing - get rid of the bleepin thing. Glad you’re doing well and it sounds like you have very good “staff”, ie husband ! - bless.

Capel - I hope you’re taking a couple of painkillers before you go to sleep, even if you’re not in pain at the time you go to bed. So easy to wake yourself up whilst your boobs still sore, with any awkward movements in your sleep. Enjoy your girlie w/end with your daughter. Interested to hear you’ve been “told” not to do “any” work, that you’ve been signed off for two weeks - that’s nice. I’m in Macclesfield, NE Cheshire, about 12 miles S of Manchester. Been here 3 years. No, I’m on my tod, am an orphan - no family, awwww. I keep offering myself up for adoption on the Forum, but no ones jumped at it/me yet. I’m 8 and 9 yrs post masts.

 

Look after yourselves, happy healings. Delly xxx

42

Ha ha ! No prizes for guessing what just woke me up !! Delly you must be psychic. Yep, the pain is something else. Not to bad during the day but at night time it throbs, but at least as you say that nasty little **** is gone. Delly I am sorry to hear you are on your tod, and such a very long way away. I didn’t realise you had been in the fight so long either. I don’t know how you have dealt with it so long, I find it mentally draining more than physical, not sure if that makes sense ?? Maybe it’s the trying to stay positive for everyone else, I am not sure. I forgot to ask did anyone else have a problem with their uvula (dangly bit at the back of the throat) after the operation ? Mine is really painful twice the normal length and has white patches on it. Feels like it was trapped and stretched when the breathing tube was put in.
Hi Ann, my best friend Karen left a parcel with my husband to be opened post op and in it were lots of lovely little gifts and notes, my favourite being a little bell to ring if I want a cuppa. The note attached said it was also to help my husband get lots of excercise, he is not best pleased with that one. I did get a very pleasant surprise yesterday as my daughter arrived home much earlier than expected, at lunchtime, as her head teacher had given her the day off to come home early. So the afternoon was spent with colouring books, Harry Potter films and lots of cups of tea. Other than the pain I am surprisingly chilled at the moment. Rather odd, a little bit like the calm before the storm. Anyway, I should get back to sleep, thank you both for listening. Love Fiona x

43

Delly, yes, very lucky to have good ‘staff’ whilst going through all if this & having seen a number of you on the forum going through this whilst living on your own, I now count my blessings! lots of hugs
hi fiona, yes, I remember that chilled out feeling, rather nice actually, so I went along with it. The hospital gave me co-codamol (prescription strength) which certainly helped at night. I had a sore throat afterwards, from the intubation which resolved after a few days. My lump was v small, so I was up & about after a couple days, so felt quite fit & well on sick leave. Make the most of it!
ann x

44

Good evening ladies!

Well results day did not go as planned and I am afraid you will be stuck with me for some time to come. Good news- Breast tumor removed and nothing in the margins. Bad news - the two lymph nodes removed both had cancer cells?. Spent most of the day going between various departments, and had call when I got back to say chemo starts on Wednesday for the next 6 months followed by surgery to remove the rest of the nodes, radiotherapy , etc.
Well stunned does not really describe it !

Pathetically I am more upset about losing my hair than I was about losing my boobs.

So ladies any works of wisdom or humour greatly appreciated …

Love Fiona x

45

Hi Ann,

Thank you for your message. As always approaching this like a duck on water, but frankly I am scared now. It was so much easier to deal with before as we were expecting just a ‘hiccup’ in life, with enough sick pay from work ERC to get us though with time spare but now I am trying to see how my remaining 10 weeks sick pay is going to cover 6 months of Chemo another op and possibly radiotherapy at the end ??
i know it is a case of taking each day as it comes, but frankly I am struggling to see passed Wednesday when the chemo starts. Hopefully it won’t be as bad as I think, I think it is just the fear of the unknown at this stage.
Well reading back through that I feel like a complete wimp ! I really need to get a grip. I have a meeting with My boss on Tuesday, so hope to get more of a commitment from him as to the level of support that the company will stretch too. At the moment they are saying they will do everything they can to support me but for home long is the question now. Also there is a big difference between supporting someone and holding their job open and paying someone full pay for twice as long as their published sick leave terms. Still got the dreaded Occupational Health company to deal with too who when I spoke to them last time said there should be a clear divide between days and times I can work and times I can’t, clearly they have no concept of how chemo works !! oh well we will see what this week brings.
So, the hair, I am now sporting a very short pixie cut, it is a bit of a stop gap to help me get used to the idea of losing it. I was going for ‘Judy Dench’ but hair dresser said she thought it was more “Julie Walters” and my husband said I looked like his sister !! Bless him I think he meant it as a compliment, failing to remember that she is 66 and I am 52 !!

My son came back from uni to see me for the weekend which was lovely. He even bought me flowers, which was a first. My daughter thankful took this latest news better than the initial news and has stayed up in London which I would prefer her to do at this stage as she has been through a lot and need to enjoy herself and not be here with me. Hubby was shocked in the appointment and I was terrified he was going to lose it and cry as well, but thankfully he didn’t. Do you know if there is a forum like this for family to use , as I really think that he could do with speaking to other partners who have been through this.
Anyway, as always thank you for your live and support. If Delly or anyone else listening has any words of wisdom regarding the chemo, then j would love to hear them. I have jumped to the November Chemo thread but will pop back to keep you all updated. Love and hugs.
Fiona x

46

Hi Charys,
Lovely to hear from you.
I am day 10 in first chemo cycle and felling pretty good now, the breast wound was infected to on extra strong anti biotics as well as the chemo ones. So had lots of extra trips to the hospital this week. The ct and MUGA scans are today but they could not find a vein so back to oncology to get the canula and waiting to have the scans and then back to breast care imaging for them to check on the infection. ? So never a dull
Moment. No hair loss yet but booked the appointment at the wig shop and also managed to get on to a Look Good Feel Better course, both for end of month just before chemo round 2. Other than feeling like I had been hit by a bus on days 3 to 8 I have been ok and worked half days from home when I can. Due to work full time from Saturday tomorrow for the next 10 days but moving to a smaller closer office with fewer people and my own private room to limit infection opportunities. Work have come up trumps and said I will get 3 months full pay which if able to work part time should carry me through the chemo and have given me a payrise and low targets until
Next July so very happy about that. Results of scams to see where the cancer has spread to are on the 1st December so fingers crossed it has not made it too far !

47

My apologies girls, haven’t been on for some time, so just catching up.

Capelmum/Fiona - Heck and Ffffflip. I’m so sorry about your diagnosis 5/11. Talk about a bloomin big multiple banging rocket scare. Bit of a bummer’s putting it mildly. And yeh, I can understand you’re upset ref you’re probable impendind hair loss. Unlike being able to “fill”, cover up and get away with the boobs,  hair’s more immediately visible, and let’s face it, it’s important to most women. Tho, I often repeat, I complimented one of my patients on her new hairstyle “Looks fabulous and really suits you”, only for her to tell me it was a wig and was going through chemo. They’re so much better these days, plus some women look fantastic with pixie haircuts. I was raving abot Jamie Lee Curtis’s one only recently - looks abfab stunning.

Fiona - there’s a section on this Forum called Supporting Someone with a Cancer Diagnosis. Could prove helpful to your husband, plus there are Macmillan and BCC leaflets available for supporters.

I didn’t require chemo or rads so am not of much help there. But know you’re in good hands with the girls on the chemo threads. Sue H-S is especially supportive and helpful with info. Tell her Delly sent you!! You may have already come into touch with anyway.

I’m soooo glad you seem and sound to be doing so well so far. And that work’s come up trumps for you. Amazed that you’re talking full time next week.

Long may it continue so darlin’. Plus pleased your family are rallying round. If you feel like a giggle Fiona - check out the “Progesterone, other hormones and fluffy cakes” thread, in the hormones section. Charys also hangs out there, making a nuisance of herself most of the time lol. I just add a bit of sarcastic humour to it when I can. They crack me up sometimes.

 

.

Hi to everyone else. Hope you’re all doing okay.

Loadsa love

Doolallydingdong xxxx

48

Don t listen to A WORD about me from the poster below…she is a naughty naughty person lol *and we love her*. I’m so sorry I actually knew it wasn’t your results I don’t know why I said that…somewhere is a post somewhere on an unidentified thread saying ‘you must be into chemo’…I think I got my two replies mixed up. I best go check that out, or maybe I was thinking about results from your other tests due. Anyway…I was here to see how you were getting on that’s the bottom line. I’m really glad your employers are bring supportive, that makes a huge amount of difference emotionally as we have seen for those who get some dire treatment. I’m also very pleased to hear you are coping relatively well with the current regime. Please do pop on over to the thread delly mentioNed if you felt like some lightvheartedness. You will be made VERY welcome (and you will see for yourself who causes the trouble ! ;0))

49

rightho…now WHERE have I put the message to you about being mid chemo…warrghhh…off to find it…

50

P.s. Fiona - I meant to ask how your wound is doing now, with you saying it had been infected and being on anti-B’s. Don’t do things by halves do you !!

Have a good w/end everyone. We’ve had the Gritters out tonight here in the cold North. Too early for me for freezes.

xxx

51

Hi Ladies,
Sorry it has taken me so long to come back to you all, I have been back at work full time since last Saturday, and other than abut of a “nuclear” poo issue and the odd bit of heartburn, I feel completely normal. It has been lovely being back at work, much more like just being me, if that makes sense.?
Yes, the breast wound has finally stopped weeping and looks a lot less angry than it did so fingers crossed the infection is gone.
Hair on top still intact, not so below ? So looks like the cold capping might be working so far. Now day 16 post first chemo and thinking if that’s as all it can throw at me, I can get through this. My house is like a florist , every day I come home there are more flowers, I have lost count of just how many bouquets have arrived from people wishing me well. Bring a smile to my face when I get in from work. My colleagues at the office, all estate agents aged between 20 and 30, have been lovely and are really looking after me, don’t believe everything you hear about EAs, it’s not all true !! Lol.
Planning to work through until next chemo on the 30th.
So ladies how are you all doing ? Please let me know. Also Delly I will pop over to the other thread you suggested to see who really causes all of the trouble. Thank you all again for your support, the amazing women like yourselves on this forum have made me laugh, cry and remain sane through out this journey so far.
Love Fiona x

52

Thank you Charys, yes I have continued to be shocked by the amount of people I know who have called, emailed and sent flowers many of which I have not seen or heard from in many years, including two very unexpected ones from ex bosses who I had not been very fond of !
I did have a little read through some of the recent comments on the other thread in the middle of the night last night when I wake up, seems to always be the cas at around 3:30 every night, too much water making me need to pee all of the time. Delly’s comments were very funny. I will join in next time I am online. She is so funny and so talented, she really should consider writing professionally . There is s lady on my chemo thread who has a blog for her family called “one lump or two ?”, could be a great title for a book if Delly is up for writing one . I don’t think I have seen any books on the humourous side of having cancer. There has to be laughter as with out it we would cry. May be we can twist her arm in to having a go.

53

Capel - Fiona. Me thinks congrats are in order, that you’ve finished your last chemo?? Hope you’ve felt up to suitably celebrating WHOOHOOO!!!

So what about your hair?? Did the cold cap work? As for your “other” area, am having to bite my tongue as to what to call a cold treatment for your delicate bits!!

How wonderful you’re being showered with flowers - yeh, you’re obviously highly regarded and loved.

Both you and Charys flatter me. My thoughts for a book title was “A New Pair”, but I couldn’t possibly make it all funny.

 

Hope you’re continuing to do well. I’m amazed by how you’re coping.

Would take my bra off to you if I wore one !! ;-))

Much love Dellypoos xxx 

54

Hi Delly,
Thank you X I have just finished my first chemo, 5 more still to go. Hair now comprised of very short stubble as over half of it fell out. So much for the Cold capping and wig being picked up today. Only going to wear X it out has happy being bald at home ?
My scans were both clear so that was brilliant news, so just the chemo, node removal radio therapy and 10 years of hormone treatment to go. Looks like it will be tamoxifen initially followed by one I cannot name.
Really thing you should write that book though, you are funnier than you think. Also it could be a complication of yours and other people’s comments, cartoons, positive affirmations etc, just some lighter reading.

55

Hi

i had a routine mammogram and called back last Wednesday. Biopsy results due next Wednesday.'Good ’ news is I have hospital appt on Friday. Pleased they are moving quickly but also worried that they are moving quickly. Feel numb and can’t really believe that it is happening to me. Very worried about the results and what treatment I will have to have. Also it’s been a terrible year for the family and concerned about telling my grown up sons even more bad news. Want Wednesday to come but dreading it

56

hi blueleyla,
It is normal procedure to move quickly on recall to meet national guidelines, so don’t read anything into it.
Most recalls turn out to be clear, but, obviously, something has been picked up which needs to be got to the bottom of, so screening has done its job.
If it is bc, then it is very treatable these days with most women going onto make a full recovery.
Inevitably the anxiety is horrible with the mind going into overdrive, so try not to think beyond next weds.
ann x

57

Hi Blueleyla

The waiting game is torture. What is important is that our healthcare professionals work to such quick time frames so what ever the outcome you can be assured really prompt activity. I also dreaded telling my daughter - and personally balanced up what was it I was actually telling her - and so decided to wait so I had all info at hand. I read this forum time and time again for reassurance that what I was feeling was ‘normal’. I do hope you are taking someone with you for your results - not only as moral support but also as a second set of ears -I really don’t think I heard half of what I was being told. Let us know how you get on - thinking of you

58

Thanks to everyone who has replied.  I have been reading the forum messages for the last few days and finally plucked up the courage to post.  I don’t normally post on web sites.

 

Yes, my husband is coming with me and hopefully he will pick up on things that I don’t. Pleased that you all seem to agree that speed of the appointment is normal.  We have decided to wait until at least I have been to the hospital and have more information before we tell our sons as I know the younger one will take it badly.

 

i know we have to be careful about naming names but the hospital I am going to is considered very good.  Fingers crossed for Wednesday and Friday. Thanks for the support

59

Hi Bluekeyla and Eastside,
You are so welcome, we are all on the journey her together. I hope your news is gods and your visit brief Blueleyla, but if it is not we will all be here to help you through it. The ladies in here, particularly Charys, Ann-s and the amazingly funny Delly have been by my side all of the way.
Telling family was tough, I too did not tell my parents until just before my lumpectomy as they had recently lost my step mothers brother to cancer, so all very raw to them. I told my grown up children when I had the results of the biopsy and new it was breast cancer. They reacted in different ways that were unique to their personalities. When I got the further suprise that it was in the lymph nodes and that chemo was then also required, I let them both know and they reacted the other way around this time with my son getting straight in a train back from uni. Brought a tear to my eye when we picked him up from the station with a bouquet of flowers he had bought on the way home. X
Definitely take hubby with you, there was so much to take on board, the first results u had were OK and I took it all in my stride, the further results were much worse and I lost it in the middle of it, and was introduced to a whole new team who would be looking after me, hubby did the listening for me as I could no longer comprehend it all.
The chemo is not that bad, now that j gave got through the first cycle and I have been lucky enough to be able to continue working 50% of the time, which has been important to me as at work I feel normal.
Helena, you are being so strong and brave, you and I know that we will get through this and come out of it stronger !
I will be there for you all, as will your healthcare teams wherever they may be.
Much love to you all,
Fiona x

60

Bluekeyla and Eastside and everyone else on here,

I soooo hate, everytime anyone new comes onto this wonderful forum. Yet more lovely, beautiful women having to face, go through BC and all it’s possible treatments and all that may entail. I’m a survivor of 10 yrs. Things have massively progressed from them there times, and I hope that may give you some succour - help, relief, comfort. 

Yeh, please do do as mentioned by Ladybowler and Capelmum suggest, and take someone with you to your appointments. Altho’, as I’ve previously mentioned, the medical team are well used to people blanking off if it’s bad news, which I hope it isn’t, but you’re given ample opportunity to discuss anything at a further date when it’s sunk in. Please don’t ever feel your making a nuisance of yourself - go ahead and make a nuisance of yourself. You need to be as informed as possible in everything that it may involve.

You bring back to mind my “waiting” time - it sucks, it’s pretty awful bo**ox to be quite frank, isn’t it. Have to try keep your mind occupied, but doesn’t necessarily work cos’ it’s such a major worry. You try and stay positive, as I did, cos’ it may not be what you’re worrying about. But it “may” be. All up in the air until you get those results.

 

I hope like mad, Blueleyla, that you’re okay and don’t have to join this forum any longer than you already have. BUT, if you do, it’s a fantastic place for support, advice, to rant, sob, let rip and receive a whole load of love in return from those who’ve been there. Yes, it’s through the “ether”, but it  DOES make a difference.

Please DO come back on and let us know your results, whichever way they go.

Much love

Delly xxx