First of all, I have found this forum so informative and supportive. It definitely helped me with my results appointment today having a bit of knowledge to go in with - so thank you to all you lovely ladies!
Sadly I received my diagnosis today - Grade 2 IDC ER+ HER2- 34mm. No spread to lymph nodes thankfully.
Treatment plan is mastectomy (I have small bobbies) and am also looking at reconstruction options. Have appointment with plastic surgeon next week. They have also sent off bloods for genetic testing due to my age (39)
I may or may not have to have chemo and/or radiotherapy depending on results from tumour once removed.
Getting my mirena coil removed tomorrow. Told my daughters this evening and they took it as well as can be expected. They are only 11 & 8 so was honest but told them that mommy is going to fine !
@shell86 my heart goes out to you, one day at a time at the moment, once all your tests are complete and you have your treatment plan in order things will start to fall into place.
Wishing you well, thinking of you together with your beautiful little girls.
Thank you @Tili and @southwest123 for your kind words and support. Really means a lot!
And thank you as well @tiamaria I hope you are recovering well from surgery. It’s nice to have met someone on a fairly similar journey to me.
I told my daughters earlier. They took it really well and I was very careful with how I worded it but I wanted to be honest with them. They are going through so much. My father in law has stage 4 pancreatic cancer and doesn’t have long left so we have all been dealing with that as well. My poor husband is all over the place trying to be there for his dad and me bless him.
One thing I am finding strange, I have only cried once in this whole journey so far. I just feel numb and like it’s not really happening to me. I’m waiting for that sudden crash which will inevitably happen at some point.
Hi @shell86, I’m sad you’re joining this club. One day at a time and one appointment at a time. Don’t get ahead of yourself as you’ll start to go down rabbit holes.
It’s time for you to put you first and do this the way you need to do it.
I’ve had my mastectomy two weeks ago with reconstruction. So if this is an option that you are given and you’d like to explore it please feel free to ask any questions and I can talk you through my journey.
Try not to google, but if you do find yourself straying go on reputable sites.
I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. It’s not easy. My step children knowing was the hardest but for me. They have been so supportive and so good. I’m deciding to only tell them the stages I’m at when I have concrete plans in place. So I told them about the cancer when I’d decided I wanted mastectomy and I’ll tell them about my lymph node biopsies etc once I get the results and know next steps.
It’s all new for us all to navigate. Just got to keep reaching out and hopefully we can all navigate our journeys together xxxx
Again I’m so sorry about your diagnosis @shell86 & also really sorry that you have the additional worry & upset with your father in law being so poorly. It’s a heck of a lot to have to deal with for you, your husband & your children & I really feel for you all.
I completely understand the numbness & not crying thing. I’ve been exactly the same. My husband and I both cried when I got the diagnosis but only very briefly & since then I haven’t at all. I also just feel numb, like it’s not real. It’s the strangest feeling isn’t it. The one emotion that I’ve notice creeping in is anger, not at the diagnosis but at the things some people say. It’s ridiculous little things & I know they mean well but I’m getting really irritated by it! Thinking of you xx
@jolm if I could write a book of what not to say! Some of the best I’ve had… at least you will trump any illness we will ever have. Oh at least you get a free tummy tuck, are you scared, oh my auntie had that and she died, do you think its because you drink Pepsi. A week will fly by.
At least you might lose a bit of weight as a by product.
Wow @motherducky it’s amazing how insensitive people can be isn’t it!! I had the trumping thing last night, a friend said “oh trust you to trump my story” & “at least you don’t have inoperable bowel cancer like so & so’s husband” and “but you’ve got a lovely rack”…all same friend, same conversation
Tempted to start a new thread of dumb stuff people have said!
Same, I’m not a violent person but some people are really quite testing!! X
On what planet did your pal think that would help or comfort you.
Ita made me really think about what I say to people now when they are going through something. It was the same when I miscarried and people would say ridiculous things.
Motherducky, I have my own list going too and you covered some in your amazing letter.
Thank goodness you’ve caught it early is a well meaning one that riles me .
My friend had xyz…
Stay positive (I am but you asked how I am and I’m tired)
And all the remedies we dare not try in case our flap fails!
That doesn’t sound too bad (shall we swap?)
None of these were corkers like above, and all well meant, but will definitely make me mindful of what to say to others. It’s very therapeutic being able to share and vent on here x
Oh god the at least they caught it early phrase is my worst. I’ve lost my nipple, my boob is smaller and higher than my other, I look like someone has gone at my tummy with a chainsaw and my belly button looks odd. On top of that I’m in pain, I’m scared, I’m going through test after test…. I know in my heart I am very blessed to have found it at an early stage but I don’t think people really understand that the journey is still very long and very scary.
I was talking to someone yesterday and talking through what may happen if I have to have chemo and I said I’m worried about hair loss. Just because then everyone will know my battle whether I want them to know or not and they said well yoi have to stay positive you can’t worry about your hair.
Yet this person constantly worries about how their hair looks. It’s the throw away nature that some people say these comments. Oh you can’t worry about your hair. Of course I can worry about my hair!
I said to my best friend yesterday that I was in a dark place and that I needed to be allowed to be in that shite place and be a bit pissed off with the world. Without positivity being thrown at me. She got the brief and we had a vent about stupid cancer day and stupid things people say!
I am sorry you are dealing with breast cancer at a young age with children to look after, and a father in law who is very ill.
I had a diagnosis of breast cancer at age 48 in 2003. I had a different kind in the same breast in 2022 at 67. It’s a baffling disease. First time they told me it was benign until I had the lump out. So I had another operation as they said there were cancer cells at the margin.
In 2022 I had no option except mastectomy as I had received the maximum amount of radiotherapy you could have in 2004 (my treatment went on until 2004, then I was prescribed anti oestrogen meds for 5 years which I did not take)
My advice now would be weigh up the evidence and decide what to do. I am now reconstructed with a diep that took out blood vessels and skin and fat from my abdomen. That sold it to me! I am slim, shows how shallow I can be.
This time round I have been taking my meds like a good girl.
Hi @shell86 . Im so sorry you got the confirmation. Sorry to hear about your father in law aswell. Were all here whenever you need us. Its such an odd time in the inbetween diagnosis and treatment. All the while thinking about family aswell.
Ive been telling my little girl in little bits, shes 6, just so shes aware of changes mummy is going through.
Your results were almost identical to mine. I was told I needed a mastectomy and the nhs pushed me to have a diep (tummy) reconstruction. I got another opinion and 3 weeks ago had a lumpectomy with a licap reconstruction where they rebuild using tissue from under your arm. I’m really impressed with it, a far shorter operation than the diep reconstruction and far less debilitating. Prognosis of licap with radiotherapy is no different to mastectomy. Worth considering. Good luck and hoping all goes well.
Hi there I am 2.5 weeks post op after a right sided mastectomy and lymph node biopsy I had implant reconstruction at the same time. I didn’t cry much and spent the weeks living for each appointment. Pain wise it’s ok and the exercises have been fine. Tiredness is the worst and I think that’s because it never truly leaves your mind.
I had my results today and it was confirmed to be lobular measuring 5.5cm which is stage 2. Good news not in lymph nodes. Today I cried!!!
This is a wonderful forum and you’ll get so much support from here xxxx
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