Hello
I am a 64 year old,married with 2 children and 4 grandchildren.I am going to the hospital tomorrow for the results of a core biopsy - having been told already that’it is cancer’.I am so scared. I am not scared of the mastectomy as I had a full hysterectomy in february so I know what to expect in terms of a hospital stay and operation- it is what comes afterwards. The ladies on here seem to be so brave but I feel that I am loosing it and am wondering if I cope as well as everyone else.I have very little family apart from a fabulous daughter and a son who lives a long way away but is still supportive. On the forum people say that the waiting is the worst but I am scared that I cannot cope with the diagnosis tomorrow.
I would be grateful for some words of encouragement
Janet
Hallo Jaybee-46
I am 56 married with two sons but no grandchildren and no signs of any!
I was told I had BC on 3rd September, and had a left wide local excision and node sampling done on 27th September and I am due to get the results on 13th October.
The wait for the operation seemed almost unbearable at times but the day arrived and I feel much better after having the op done. I feel that I can’t discuss my feelings with my sons in case it upsets them.
Some days I feel calm, sometimes I feel really weepy and negative.
It’s a real rollercoaster.
The only place I feel safe is at home.
By the way, I was advised to take pyjamas into hospital so I bought some hideous ones from M & S (haven’t worn them since I was about 12) and didn’t need them after all.
Good luck for tomorrow. Let us know how you get on.
Thank you for your prompt reply.I am feeling a little better as I have just got a lovely bouquet from my son and his family.
I willpost how i get on tomorrow.
Janet I am so sorry you are going through this. Is there somebody you can take with you tomorrow? You are no doubt going to be given a lot of information, and it will be hard for you to take it all in. Please make sure you are given a Breast Care Nurse (BCN) contact, so that you have someone you can go back to with your questions, and who should be able to offer you lots of reassurance.
I hope the news is better than you are expecting - and there are loads of us here ready and waiting to help you through this. Please let us know how you get on.
finty xx
Good luck Jaybee,
I hope you have ‘good’ news tomorrow. The waiting is horrid. Do take someone with you if you can, it is better to have two people listening, otherwise you miss things!
Take care, miscally
Hello
I have been today to the clinic for my results.The surgeon says that the Cancerouslump is quite large and there may be another lump behind this.i have decided to have a mastectomy next Friday.The good news is that the Biopsy in my armpit revealed no Lymph mode development but they will check that with a scentinel node Biopsy when I go for my mastectomy, but he seemed quite optimistic.Iam feeling a lot calmer this evening (long may it last) as the ball is now rolling and I may be nearer to getting answers to the problems and what is going to happen next.The nurse says that at the side of the radical hysterectomy I had in February this willbe much easier so hope that she is right
hoping everyone reading this is in a good place
Janet
I had mx 2weeks ago had no problems with the bust area at all lymph removal is a differen t story still very tender had it drained 3 times and need to have it done again hoping to get it b ack on the mend soon
Hi Janet
I was so pleased to read your comments. I have been scouring the net ever since I was diagnosed with BC on the 20th of September. I am not used to “online forums” and have been looking for somwhere where others are of a similar age and situation to myself. I am 62 with a daughter close by and a son in another country. I went to The Royal Marsden last Monday and was told this morning that they have also found cancerous cells in one of my lymph nodes. I am also waiting- waiting for the breast care nurse to ring me back to tell me what the change of plan is for my treatment. My children are being very supportive but it is not quite the same as “talking” to somebody who has/is going through the same experience. I have read several of the comments on line and found them very helpful. Like you, I would be very grateful for some words of encouragement.
Dear Ragamuffin
Thank you for your reply - it is good to hear from ladies of my age and similar circumstances. I am having my op on Friday so I am very nervous at the moment.I have started a thread called ‘Mastectomy on Friday’ in the Newly Diagnosed’ section so maybe we can keep in touch on there. Hoping everything goes well with everyone
Janet
Posted on behalf of new user Lee:
Hi Jaybee46 and all other precious angels reading,
I sincerely wish you all the best for today! I have joined this site on behalf of my mam. Shes not very computer iliterate. Reading your posts I can feel the stress and worry but can relate to the condition and size. My Mam was told on weds to seek further advice from her GP after discovering a lump a little smaller than a golf ball. She is 61, two children and 8 grandchildren. I am her son, 30 and have four daughters.
Having seen a Dr weds a date was confirmed to have a specialist look at it to confirm what it actually was. I Phoned my mother in the day to which she burst into tears and could not talk. I left work immeadiately to be at home with her until my dad arrived home - hes 63.
I arrived home and what was upseting to us all most was the fact that it would be cancer, it may not be, but it was the not knowing. It was clear she could not have carried on a week, even any of us, just wondering whats going on.
Still being upset and bursting into tears every 5 mins, I called the local Dr to find out if an appointment had been booked, to our delight a date was confirmed for a week today. This added a little assurance that things were moving ahead and relatively fast. I have friends who have been in similar situations and who have had success removals.
You feel helpless and cannot take on the worry and pain entirely, I decided to phone there and then the local private BUPA hospital. A specialist was a available within a few hours, so i made the decision to book it (last nite - 14-10-2010) and then call the local Dr to fax over a referral letter, this in turn was done, and from calling at 5.30 we were booked in at 6.40.
Feelings were a little upbeat as we had managed to jump forward a week in seeing somone who could give an accurate opinion. We were seen to very swiftly by the Dr/Specialist and his Breast Consulant. Myself, my dad and mam all sat in the room where questions were asked on leaking from the nipple, medical history, last period, how many children and so on. The curtains where then drawn where my mam was then inspected. At this point my dad left in upset. although not visable you could see in his eyes.
Once dressed and sitting back down the news was confirmed as Breast Cancer - well 99% sure, going off the size and location and the firmness of it.
What my mam had more or less thought it was but didnt want to accept it, was now very apparant. I sat and held her hand as she fought back the tears. The warmth and composure of the Dr almost brought over a wave of strength and posistiveness over me. I had done a lot of crying earlier in the day and still do, but the hurtfull flow of tears now seemed a little stemmed.
I asked questions that my mam could neither think about or bring to words, along the lines of next steps, success and size. He responded as positive as his position allowed and confirmed his dealings of over 4000 patients in the same position, and that they are by in large, still a live, cured and living normal lives.
Mastectomy, radio and Chemo were immeadiately brought into conversation. Being a private hospital and having paid the initial expense of seeing him, the costs were discussed, which after scans and ops would run near to 7k or beyond.
It was made clear that the costs would be a heavy consideration but the line of NHS would be the more likely chosen choice. The NHS offers fantastic care and results, however we reminded ourselves why we were there - to bring light and a little calm to the situation.
Gladly the Dr who also works in NHS confirmed he would be seeing the whole process right down to operation at another local Hospital. I myself felt extremely positive and almost taken under his wing and found confidence.
The ball had started rolling so to speak, we knew what it was, how to sort it and when it was happening, it had felt going there at short notice had saved us a week! a week that can be measured in so many ways.
we were given direct numbers for his assistant to call by weds of next week if we had not heard of a scan appointment, either way were all expecting to go in mid week to carry it out.
I really just wanted to get my short story although only progressed since weds seems a lifetime!!
Jaybee46 - I really hope things are going well, I am saying my prayers for yourself, my mother and everyone reading this who is going through the same thing. Be nite to chat to you as at the moment its all new, a new fear which I am positive for all that will turn into happiness 
x
Lee what a lovely kind brave son you are. This is just such a fraught time for all of you.The shock of the dx is like being hit by a 10 ton truck is the only way I can describe it.My heart goes out to you and your parents. But you now have your/ your Mum’s specialist advice( am not sure if she is continuing private or NHS)So sorry that you are finding yourself on the Forum but there is a wealth of info, support and experience here.All I can say is that I am around your Mum’s age but had a WLE after chemo with rads to follow and yes it was tough at times but doable as the ladies on here will tell you. Once there is a plan in place it helps It will help your mum no end to know that she has the loving support and hugs that you can all give her I was DX Nov 2009 and have just finished 'active 'treatment. You will find similar stories on this forum of ladies who have had their share of sadness and the bad news of BC but take one day at a time.Please do keep posting and ask any questions as I am sure there will be other ladies along who can answer your queries.One more thing it might help your Mum if she has a BCN to discuss questions with( or she can ring the BCC helpline) they are open again on Mon)Also if she/you have questions write them down and have them with her/you at her appts.Cyber hugs to you and your parents. I do realise that you have your OH and children to consider as did my own son so very stressful for you too. Jackie
Hi Lee and welcome to the forums
As Jackie has kindly suggested, you and your Mum are welcome to call our helpline for further support and information on 0808 800 6000, the line is open 9-5 weekdays and 9-2 Sat.
Take care
Lucy
Mouseybrown, Jaybee and all who have posted on this thread only just caught up with this. Just to say I wish you well and yes the waiting is really the worst oh def the worst.Janet not had hysterectomy so cannot comment I had WLE and re-excision both with little pain except for a drain which pinched a bit on the ANC.Expect you are all through the treatments as posted earlier. Cyber hugs to each of you.Jackie
Posted on behalf of new user Lee
Jo, Facilitator
Hi Lucy and Libby and all Reading, thanks for message being heard and the kind wishes.
Since Thurs nite its been a constant housefull from family and grandchildren. I myself are parted from my ex wife, so although single, I see my children almost on a daily basis. So yesterday was a saturday spent almost identical to ones of over a year past when we were still together. Myself, all the four girls, ex wife* Mam and Dad all went out for the day to the local farm/childrens centre. *Fiona and myself have a great relationship and get on very well, so the day didnt feel out of place or strange in the slightest way. It brought joy to us all to all be there in one place having a lovely day.
Once the day was over myself and my parents and oldest daughter went out for a meal - where she managed to have what I would say the first meal in a good few days, well she left just under half of it :), so in all it was busy busy day, and by the end of it, as planned, my mam was ready to get some sleep as she has had nothing more than around 6 hrs since weds. Although active, chasing the kids round etc you can see she needs a good nites sleep but who could in this situation?
Just called this morning (Sunday) she went up a round 2am and thinks shes had a few hrs here n there, watching DVDs to take her mind a little of it all. So come 11am (half hrs time) its another fun packed day with the kids! as u can imagine, 4 of them all have there own funny traits and personalities, they had her laughing yesterday and smiling endlessly, its the moments when its bed time or being on her own that sets the mind whirling away!
All I keep doing is remaining positive, even talking to her in an upbeat manner, in between all this shes clearing out her loft for the insulation people coming tomorrow!! so she certainly not sitting back, al lot of what she pulled out was her old college and course work back from years again, mine and my sisters old school books, apart from the normal rubbish that ne one could do with out, I took the more personal stuff aside and told her she “can look at it when you have plenty of time later!” and along the lines of her course work which she was ready to chuck anyway - “you got these qualifications years ago and the jobs to prove it” bin them! So a mix of leading the way and pointing out some trivial humour seems to be the way forward, as she just replie “I know and smiles”.
Well nothing more inlines of hospitals and Drs until Weds/Thurs upto now, Its going to be a long journey, but I think we have passed by a few stops and smiles are breaking past the sadness.
Thankyou for the numbers, My mam from what I can gather from my dad has been on line but immeadiately looking for images of what it would look like! which is purely human nature! of course upsetting herself but I have printed off the last posts and left them for her to read,
I will continue to log on here and leave some news, I am always free to message and help where I can with anybody, good luck and loving wishes to you all, prayers, hopes and wishes by the masses will surely go a long way to helping us all along! so pass it on x
Its Monday! been a lovely weekend, spent a lot of time with parents and the daughters/grand daughters the last three days. My Mam got her first decent sleep last nite, although not a full nite but far more than usual.
Shes even been up and did her walk with the walking club this morning. I took the steps myself in phoning the hospital this morning, without sounding to nagging - just to see where we were at with an appointment for a scan, we were told if nothing had been heard by weds, then to ring. I called them and was told call after 3pm to speak to the original assistant nurse to the Dr. So just got off phone 5 mins ago - stroke of luck hospital had rang my mam and booked a date for this friday for the scan/biopsy test then another appointment booked to see Dr the following Thurs for the results.
At this moment in time its pretty apparant what it is and with my mam beginning to accept this, I reminded her again and told her we are basically in to see what the course of treatment is going to be needed from the results of the tests etc. Which course of treatment is going to fix this and stop it in its tracks
I am delighted things are moving ahead pretty well, come friday it will have been a week and a day from been initially seen to from the local DR, to seeing specialist confirming it, then booked for the test and scans. Again I reminded my mam of the quick moving process and brought to light that we are all delighted and certainly should be happy with the fast pace.
We have a trip away booked up in Berwick the following friday, so although we and my mam are all still wanting to go up, it will depend on the direction of the hospital, We are determined to keep this life and plans of ours to run as planned, its important each and everyone of us to do the same, Have faith in the help and the healing of our professionals, keeping a strong and healthy attitude will over rule any dampening news or circumstances that appear.
Best foot forward!! love to you all xxxxx
Hi
I am out of hospital after having to stay for another 2 days as I had a haematoma.I now have to wait for results which I have been told is 2-3 weeks so I am trying to stay as calm as I can but it is not easy. I still have the drain in for the time being and the haematoma has left me quite weak and I am having Iron tablets to help me get my strength up.Best wishes to everyone on the thread at this difficult time
Janet
Hi Janet x
Keep strong and focused on the end result of being, fit, fixed and raring to go!
I am back into Hospital with my mam and dad tomorrow for the results of last Fridays scans and core Biopsy.
My Mother has been in good spirits and doing her every day to day thing as usual but its still been a hard week!! I am hoping for relatively good news and hope that everyone reading and involved in this site is going to be gettin the best ever news of been cured one day!
God Bless xx
Well as we speak my mam is in Theatre, undergoing Masectomy and removals from under her arm.
Since I was last on, the scans and results confirmed the Cancer and a second scan was needed over her stomach and Lung.
thankfully, the cancer had not spread into these areas, but a blood clot was found on the lung which is been treated with blood thinning injections and a tube which has been inserted via her neck to prevent any further clotting. This may have been here for a while or caused from the recent trauma, either way, the thoroughness of the Drs and Consulants and Nurses has in my eyes been vaulable as life itself.
In all its been a hard 4 weeks, but today is the day, and the time now, is what we have been building up towards. I am expecting to see her back in her room later today,
The Hospital (QE Gateshead), staff and comfort have been second to none. She was no 4 on the list of 4 today, 11 am was her time to go down for the procedure.
I managed to speak to lady no 3. yesterday who was in for a lesser operation.
I hope anyone reading this or going through the same situation, has the strength and support to keep positive.
The next step is after two weeks to see what the next stage of treatment or treatments are to be.
My mam has already got round to the idea of possible Chemo and has been informed that a NHS wig will be measured up and made ready for the start of the treatment. ‘Any Colour’ ‘Any Style’ - she has been told she can choose from!, well at least she will save on dying her hair and hair cuts for a while!!
Well fingers crossed, keep faith and hope all our prayers will be answered for us all and everyone! xx
Been a good while since I was on here and updating my mams journey, not sure who is still reading on, I hope Jaybee46 and all others who may have followed this post are doing well and battling on.
I last wrote as she was under going surgery.
The surgery went really well, in all they discovered a few pockets of cancer in her breast which was removed and also cancer was present in other nodes which were removed at the same time.
Along with this whole experience, a blood clot was found upon her lung.This was thought to have traveled there from another part of her body.
It has been around two months now since the op, she has undergone her first dose of chemo and is now on medication to thin her blood and the clot. Her timetable for the chemo is every three weeks - the first being the 27th of december. For the first week after she has felt tired, sick, off her normal foods and cups of tea! she is now feeling more her normal self and getting out and about.
No signs of hair loss yet but she has got her wig ready.
There is an upbeat feeling amongst all at the moment, there has been unbelieveable heartache.
My Mother is an unbelieveably strong charachter and this really does show but she does find her self having little sleep due to the medication, thoughts in her head and steroids which are keeping her on her feet.
I sincerely hope we are now facing this battle head on and everyday is a blessing,
hope all and everyone reading are doing well, - keep up the fight! xxx