Results_ devastated

Hi there.
Been to get my results today.
The cancer has spread to my lymph nodes. I’m going to need more surgery to remove them all. Before that I will need 5 months of chemotherapy. It wasnt what I wanted to hear. Then will have all nodes removed. Then I will start radiotherapy.
Before all this I need a ct scan and bone scan to check there are no tumours anywhere else. Chemo was never on the cards when I had my first appointment.
I’m in absolute shock. I’m devastated.
I’m worried about losing my hair. I’ve already been advised to get my long hair cut shorter so I won’t be in too much despair when it goes. I know there is the cold cap but my hair is very fine as it is. That, funnily enough was the first thing to cross my mind when he said do you have any questions?
I feel that I’m on a really long road and I can’t see the finish line. I know in the long run that in a year or so’s time I will look back and think thank God it’s gone. It’s just scary setting out on it.
Sorry for going on.
Sonya xx

Oh Sonia, so very sorry to hear that.  You must be devastated.  You will find the strength to get through this, I promise.  We all felt just like you, but we did it.  Chemo is like an endurance test of feeling a bit unwell in many ways, but not all at the same time.  You will have good weeks, where you are feeling nearly normal, so it’s not 5 months of hell. It is very scary, but you will feel better once you start. Join the thread & you will have others in the same position to help you along the way.  The hair issue is a big one, I cannot deny, & I really struggled with it, still am if I’m honest.  You have to keep your eye on the prize …ie it’s keeping you well.  Easy to say, hard to do.  They can successfully treat people with positive nodes now, so please don’t feel desolate.  It’s hard, but you can do it.  All the best. xx

Dear Sonya so sorry that you have had rotten news. I am finding out about my lymph nodes tomorrow but found out today that I am grade 3 now, so chemo is on the cards. I am scared about chemo too , it seems such a long time.  And my hair ! You are not alone kim xxxx

Hi Sonya, i can understand how you are feeling at present as chemo was also never on the cards for me and i was devasted that my post surgery results in march showed a much larger cancer that had spread to the nodes. It’s a blooming scary time with so much to think about it can all feel a bit much at times.   I had 3rd fec last week so halfway there now and it is amazing how quickly time does go by.  I didn’t cold cap, it was the right decision  for me.  The forum is a fab place for support  and there is nothing that someone hasn’t felt, ecpireienced  or worried about.  Sending a big hug xxx

Sonya, I’m another one who came out of the first results appointment thinking I would not have chemo so when I found it had spread to one of my nodes and they recommended it I was pretty shocked too so know where you are coming from. I had 18 weeks of chemo (every three weeks) and, while I won’t pretend it’s always easy, I found it to be far less traumatic than I anticipated. Like Bibi, I had some pretty normal days and did lots of things I never imagined I’d do, frequently living life as normal. Frankly, before I started I imagined having my head down the loo for 18 weeks but I was not sick at all. I also had full node clearance after chemo and while I did have a few weeks of discomfort (again not as bad as I thought it would be) I’ve recovered really well. Just because it’s spread to some of your nodes does not mean the outlook is any more bleak.


This time nine months ago I was standing in your shoes feeling much the same way as you do now. This evening I came home from work and danced around the kitchen to some music whilst making the dinner. I certainly never did that on a Monday after a day at work before BC! 


You will get through this - epecially with all the good folks on this site supporting you.


Let us know how you get on. Much strength to you. 


Ruth xx

Oh Sonya,


I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m starting to wonder if they tell everyone they will just need surgery and rads? I was also told that but after my surgery the surgeon came up to the ward and said the good news was that it wasn’t hormone receptive but that they would want me to have chemo.


Anyway, I get my results on Wednesday and have a gut feeling that it has also spread to my lymph nodes and if she is talking about chemo then I’m probably HER2+ ?? the one that needs Herceptin as well.


I’m prepared for bad news.


So sorry again as I know you’ve been struggling a bit and this news will have knocked you right back. Are you having an appointment with Oncologist soon then to discuss chemo?


Hugs. xx

Hi Sonya, I’m sorry you didn’t get better news and I’m guessing they didn’t explain to you fully the chance that their initial findings can change once you have had your op, I wish they would be clearer about this as its so unfair, you will pick yourself up from this and find the strength to get through treatment and will be out the other side and life will carry on, so many lovely ladies on the various chemo threads here who will help you every step of the way! Xx Jo 

Hi girls.,
I’m up early this morning. I just couldn’t get back to sleep.
Hazel in answer to your question, I am supposed to go to see my Oncologist on the 8th to discuss chemo and my consultant expects it to start the week after.
I’ve been advised that I can’t work at all. Can I lose my job? I work with children so completely understand that any slight cold or sick bug could be quite bad during chemo.
As for my hair. I’m thinking of just chopping it really short so it’s easier to manage and then if I do lose it I will not be so upset. Did anyone else decide to do this before the start of chemo?
I’m supposed to see a dermatologist on Thursday but am going to cancel. I have a skin condition which means I can’t sit out in the sun for long periods of time. I feel that, that has paled in to significance even though it’s on my face and it makes me embarrassed if it isn’t covered. The cancer and it’s treatment comes first.
Many thanks for the support, at least we are in in together.
Love Sonya xx

Hi Sonya - and all the other ladies on this thread


im in exactly the same position as you. Saw something bit odd when looking in mirror, went to GP who didn’t think it was anything but referred me to breast clinic. Anyway, it was something. Was hopefully going to be lumpectomy and bit of radio but MRI showed something else so last week I had mastectomy. Lab results show sentinel node affected so now looking at more surgery, chemo and maybe radio too. For the first few days I was shivering wreck. Couldn’t eat or sleep. Couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed. Starting to calm down a bit - everyone keeps telling me I must keep positive for best outcome. My surgeon is on holiday at the moment so final plan not in place. Like everyone else really worried about chemo and hair loss. Am considering counselling (not usually my thing). It’s a horrible time isn’t it? But treatments really have advanced and as some of the other ladies have said time does pass, so hopefully by this time next year we’ll be on the other side of the tunnel. 

Debbie xx


Hi Amanda. Just wanted to say hi as I was/am in the same boat as you. I couldn’t start chemo as my wound hadn’t healed. It was due to necrosis from lack of blood supply at the T junction of my therapeutic mammoplasty. I finally started 11 and a half weeks post op although my wound hasn’t fully healed. The oncologist was happy it was progressing rapidly and was so much smaller than it was. Have you got a pico dressing on? That was when my wound started to turn the corner. Unfortunately last week I was in hospital with sepsis so my second chemo has been postponed for a week.
How many weeks post op are you? I felt in a very lonely place as all those who had surgery around the same time as me started chemo so long ago. But I have got there and still within the 3 month window.
Good luck xxx

I found out I had breast cancer last week as well and was also told no chemo or radiation, but yesterday they updated me to HER 2 positive and I will for sure get Chemo as well. It’s quite the roller coaster we’re on isn’t it? Hang in there.

Hi Sonya


I’m so sorry to hear your news. You must be very scared but it’s good there is a desisive course of action already put in place! The waiting and wondering is awful and now its fight time! It sounds like a long horrible journey so try not to think too far ahead.


I was diagnosed last friday and go back to see the consultant tomorrow to find if its mastectomy or 6 months chemo 1st (depending on receptors). Before I can have reconstruction I need to have the lymph nodes checked so they can whip them out if need be and I am terrified too. It’s not fair is it! Not much comfort but I wanted you to know you are definitely not alone.


I had chemo 20 years ago for a lymphoma. I tried the cold cap and hated it so much that I gave up. It’s miserable enough without the brain freeze! Losing your hair isn’t nice but it will grow back and there are some really good wigs and hats available, especially now! I think a hair cut is a good idea, I plan on going bob soon and really short and blonde (i’m a brunette) nearer to treatment as the scalp really shows through with dark hair. I also got stopped in a bar last time by some a-hole asking if I’d got a dog…I hadn’t realised at the time but my long hair was falling out and was on the back of my coat. I was in my 20s and devasted. In my experience it was mentally and emotionally easier to cope with losing shorter hair.


You take care,