Hi all. I’m 11 weeks post SMX, SLNB & tissue expander (which has had 2 fills so far) for extensive DCIS (7.5cm) which had spread to the lobules & Paget’s disease of the nipple. My scar is 27.5cm long & still very sore & uncomfortable under my arm.
I’ve started to feel like I’m dwelling on the what ifs & I dread going anywhere or being with other people outside of my family & closest friends. So I thought going back t work gradually would be a good idea. However, I’m so anxious about it & I honestly don’t know how I’m going to manage it. It’s a physical job, on my feet all day & I use my arms constantly. I’ve been gradually increasing my activity levels in preparation for going back to work but on top of the physical aspect of it, how do you cope mentally?
I’ve hardly had any contact from work (small family business), no return to work meeting, nothing at all to ask how they can support me. I’m just doing 2 slightly shorter days this week & will gradually build up. But I know that because in other peoples eyes “it’s all over” they just won’t understand that I’m still very uncomfortable or the emotional fallout. I was really strong throughout the diagnosis & surgery but i now feel really vulnerable & shell shocked by it all. I feel that people will expect the old me to turn up tomorrow & I feel like I’m having an out of body experience & someone else is going in my place! It’s the weirdest feeling & I’m so worried that I’ll just be an emotional wreck tomorrow.
How was your first day back? Any hints & tips to help me cope? Xx
Well done for getting through your treatment and getting to a place where you want to/think(?) you want to return to work
Dealing with the physical side of breast cancer and getting through the treatment is one thing, but I for one felt the mental and emotional parts much harder to deal with. Personally I felt like my diagnosis and treatment happened so quickly my head took a long time to catch up
The best advice I received came from my oncologist who advised me to return to work “when I was crawling the walls and there was nothing else I’d rather be doing” and she was absolutely right.
Everyone and their individual circumstances are different so there is no “right” or “wrong” way to do it and if you have not been in contact with anyone from the workplace during treatment then it’s understandable that tomorrow holds a lot of unknowns for you.
You maybe pleasantly surprised by work colleagues and their experiences of breast cancer: several of my colleagues told me after my return to work that their mums had had breast cancer and I would hope that a family run business will treat its employees like members of the extended family and show kindness and empathy in the circumstances
Getting “back to (a new) normal” is a huge part of breast cancer treatment: and being able to assert yourself with regard to what you can (and cannot) do following treatment is very empowering.
You may like to consider signing up for a Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward course, which may help you