I was going to use the breast cancer care “someone like me email support” to ask this question but reading the criteria it explains volenteers can only support if you have primary cancer. So over to you guys as I’m sure it’s a dilemma some of you have had to deal with and any words of advice are greatly appreciated.
I went off work on sick last October when I was diagnosed from the start with secondary and primary breast cancer to my bones. Had the usual stint of chemo and H + P, now on maintenance of H + P and Denosumab and Letrozole (ovaries removed).
My issue is I am either due to return back to work as sick pay ends or consider ill health retirement but at 47 it’s not a great pension situation to be in.
I suffer with fatigue, loss of confidence, painful joints, treatment every 3 weeks, low mood, worries over the future with a husband and 3 children and of course always in the back of your mind it’s how long will this current treatment keep my cancer under control.
My other complication is I am a full time NHS palliative care specialist nurse in the community, this is obviously too close to the bone for me hence a big reason why the time off work. I do not know what I could be offered if anything re reduced hours which i would deffinately need and a change in my role as I have to look after my mental and emotional health too. This is obviously a discussion to be had with my managers (which is to be arranged) but I guess my biggest question I have is do I just take ill health retirement and live the life I have for how ever long I have left or try to get some normality back to my life while being in a job that would be kind to me.
Million doller question I know but I’m struggling to make it on my own.
It is 10 years now since I was diagnosed with breast cancer and bone mets at same time age 57 alot older than yourself. Every one is different regarding going back to work For me once I had had chemo and radiotherapy I wanted my normal life back Before the cancer I worked 37 hours a week. Did a gradual return to work over a few months then stopped when I got to 31 hours. I carried on till I was 63. Could have retired earlier but I liked going to work. I can understand you wanting to change the type of job you do.
Have a look on the bones mets please join in where you will find lots of people in the same position.
Hi Rach, I’m a secondary girl too, ( old woman really!) so know where you’re coming from. I think everyone experiences the full gamut of emotions with this diagnosis. However, I think in the last two sentences of your post you’ve answered your own question. Although you’ve asked for help, only you can make such a big, personal decision. I was already retired when I was diagnosed, so there were no financial restraints. I can say that I have had quite a two year hard journey to get to where I am now, which is, leading a very full and active life while living with lung mets. I enjoy every minute of every day, and because I’m not working I have the luxury of doing what I want when I want. I wish you good health, mental as well as physical, and hope that you can reach a decision which is right for you. X
This does sound tricky. I work full time but your work sounds much more emotionally demanding. I find the helplines good when I need to talk things through. Be kind to yourself and remember there are right and wrong answers. We just all need to find a way forward which works for us x
I was a Chemotherapy/oncology nurse for many years, until going sick in Feb 2018 after diagnosis of ER+Breast Ca with bony mets.
No chemo or Radiotherapy so far, only Letrozole/Zometa/Ribociclib.
Recently returned in May 2019 but in Education and Development, and currently supporting the new Apprentice Nurse Associates.
For me, working it makes things feel normal, as I think about other things other than Cancer. Although I know that every so often there is something that comes along and reminds me of my own situation. There are quite a few of us who have had or are living with cancer and still nursing, although our roles have changed.
Yeah you need to get support from work don’t be to hasty to leave they owe you to find hours and role to fit round what you can cope with. People living so much longer withsecondaries get pip ask gp for ds1500 form. I am ex nurse now work or 20 hrs in nursery setting but it’s tiring too. My oncologist would give me ds1500 as apparently I’m not at 6 months to live stage but people on this site been given form from go and awarded pip for 2 years initially. I had initial BC in 2004 and secondaries in 2018. On palbociclib and letrizile and zometa for bones. Secondaries in lungs and pelvis and base of spine scan showing things stable. Sending u love and hugs liz
Gosh your story sounds so similar to mine. Almost to the letter in fact, although I am 49 and and have 2 children. I also work for the NHS and have done for 19 years. I am currently in the process of applying for ill health retirement. It has been a hard decision but I really don’t think that I can fulfill all the roles that I did previously and being a Mother is now my priority. I need to be as well as possible and conserve my energy for them. My kids are 11 and 14 so able to do a lot for themselves but I still want to be there for them and support them with their school work and hobbies.
The hardest part I had was to convince the Occy Health Dr that retirement was the right thing, I saw her 3 times and on the third time I cried and admitted that I couldn’t give my role the dedication that it deserved. I think because I am currently responding to treatment and doing fairly well she thought that the DWP may question it. Anyhow I am going for it.
I suppose only you know what is important to you but I would say live the life you have for now and accept your new normal, make time for yourself and enjoy time with your family making special memories. I’d be really intereseted to see how you get on. Good Luck, Emma Xx