Hi,
This is my first time on this forum.
I have been off work, coming up to 2 years, and will be returning soon. I am very anxious about it. I need to speak to my boss soon, as to what I ‘want’ to happen/ putting things in place. I’ve been at the same workplace for 13 years, but it will seem as if I am returning to a different job…new paperwork, new policies, new staff!!!
My boss has been very supportive, and is flexible, but I’m not really sure what I should be asking her for. I have already asked for a phased return. Can anyone help, and put me at my ease??? Thanks
Hi Suzanne. I had the best part of a year off, and I’m not surprised you’re anxious about going back. It’s so easy to feel de-skilled after ANY time off - such a long break is going to feel harder. PLUS the fact that in those two years you have been through so much. Phased return vital. You may not know what you need exactly until you try it, so ask for flexibility. I used a whole load of annual leave to take an extra day off for several months after the phased return ended - and I needed to.
Have you read “the spoon theory”? Google it… it helps enormously.
If you can, be honest about how you feel/what you need/how you want people to treat you/ what is OK and not OK. You’re right, lots will have changed, but hopeflly there will be some friendly faces who are pleased to see you back…
Be gentle with yourself and your expectations of yourself is my top tip really…
Hope it goes well
Jane
Hi Suzanne,
sorry not to have responded earlier, I saw this - but being featherweight in brain dept has taken me until now to respond.
Do contact the likes of breast cancer care / macmillan / acas to find out your position - you have protection under certain parts of the law. You may also be eligible for a protracted phased return - if your employer can support a sustainable return to work, you will be more likely to manage and keep moving forward, even if it seems challenging to you. Try requesting an occupational health review - I had one & a very detailed plan was worked out. Sadly my manager after some time tried deviating from this - she didnt seem to appreciate the fatigue I had & i ultimately resigned. The stress was too great. I never looked really poorly & I think many thought I was drawing matters out - however when I wasnt at work I was mostly flaked out.
Good luck, pls let us know how it goes if you feel able - or private message me if you wish.
LL xx
Hi Ladies,
After reading your experiences and comments, I thought I would let you know mine!
After being diagnosed last May-followed by op and rads. I had one week off work for the operation and then (stupidly) worked up until my final 3rd week of radiotherapy. The exhaustion took its toll so I was off from end of Sept until just before we broke up for Xmas.(I work in a school). I started the new year trying to get back to normal, but after a short spell it was decided that I work a ‘phased return’ which meant working 16 hours over a 4 day week, as opposed to my normal 30hours. The school also passed me onto OH who recommended I carry on with reduced hours until they see me again!!! My anxiety/depression carried on for some time, during which I was lucky enough to receive counselling through my hospital. This came to an end the end of May. I reported to my school that I wished to gradually increase my hours from June, until restarting back to normal beginning of Sept. But because I couldn’t guarantee that I wouldn’t have any ‘wobbles’ whilst going back, this was unacceptable. They suggested to me reducing my days to 2days per week-asked me to think about it.
After discussions with my counsellor-I agreed. However after recalling me to the office they explained that I would have to be ‘down graded’ to work only 2days. I then had two days to decide which way I wanted to go.
At this point my anxiety ‘exploded’- I completely lost it that evening, and suffice to say I haven’t been back since.
My doctor signed me off for 3weeks-but within a couple of days the school contacted my union, offering me a ‘settlement’ to leave.
Isn’t hindsight a wonderful thing- if only I hadn’t been so stubborn, and put myself first at the beginning, instead my thoughts were of work and not letting them down. In fact for months I told my doctor I preferred to
work as opposed to being signed off!!
Maybe I wouldn’t be in the position I am in now-aged 60, job I have been in for over 15years, and enjoyed-been taken away from me, not to mention the pension!!
Please anyone reading this, put yourself first - nothing is more important.
Hi, I wish you the best for this next transition. I don’t know how others found it but I returned to work last year after 3 ½ years and started with a phased return. I’m now less than full time, at 50%. People have mostly been very supportive but I’ve still found it difficult. For me although the hours are 50% the expectations are still 100% and as I’m not very good at saying no, I’m taking far too much on.
Especially with cancer, people are on the whole kind and supportive. One person who can be judgemental and expect too much is yourself. Make sure you are taking baby steps. Make sure you can say no when you need to. It can be good to be around other people in an environment other than. Your sofa!
I note that this post was in May so I do hope that you have begun to settle in and find your feet again.
I was dx and mx September 14, that 2 year marker fast approaching! I was made redundant during chemo in March 15, then had surgery followed by rads and more surgery.
Ihave been offered a new job at a school, 24hours a week, four days, school hours, term time only - nice cooshy little number you might say.
But rewind the last two years i was given the biggest shock of my life the day my daughter moved schools. I’ve had at least 5 surgeries, implants, infections, replaced with expanders. Hormone treatment - welcome to the menopause every day I regularly look like been caught out in the rain. Suffering fatigue more than anything, seeing a counsellor, on anti depressants snd sleeping tablets. I have 2 kids, 2 cats, Guinea pigs and a puppy - but I think I might do better if I can socialise in a cancer free vacuum. I have to pass the medical questionnaire first! Any one had experience of medical screening for a job??