I’m sat here having a coffee while waiting for the hubby to finish his appointment thinking to myself how 0n earth did I get through my cancer , Treatment and braca diagnosis in the middle of covid so had to face it all alone and yet I’m sat here wondering how I’m going to face having my Overy and tube removel sugery (risk reducing surgery) on the 8th may I feel angry that I am 8n this situation where I’m having to have this done yet grateful that I can atvthe same time and grateful that I’m here to right this post and I just dont know how to deal with these emotions and family although their there just cant help emotionally
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Hi @Angelmoubjr33 , it is understandable to feel angry. I’m in a similar situation (BRCA1 gene, a lot of risk reduction surgeries awaiting). Although I’m thankful that the modern technology can help me prevent this risk, I’m angry that for some reason I have this gene and other people don’t. It’s also quite ironic that the gene was passed on through several generations of males until it hit me, the only female.
I’ve heard that the tube removal is a fairly minor operation and it will only impact the ability to get pregnant naturally. I don’t have children but I’m ready to use my frozen embryos and it calms me down. Thanks again to the modern technology!
I try to think about other genetic diseases that spared me which are arguably much worse that BC. It’s all a bit of a lottery and we don’t get to pick the cards.
It may be helpful to talk to a therapist to help process these feelings, as they do need to be acknowledged and accepted. It’s an important part of the treatment.
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Thank you for your reply
Can I ask what helped you process your emotions. And what sugerys are you waiting for
Best Louise
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Sure! I’m waiting for a double mastectomy at the moment (I’m receiving neo adjuvant chemotherapy and that’s why my surgery won’t happen until September). I’m leaning towards a DIEP with immediate reconstruction. I’m 35 at the moment and would require a tubes surgery first (the exact timing / age tbc) and after I hit menopause, I will have another surgery to have my ovaries removed.
Since my diagnosis I have been seeing a therapist weekly and it helped immensely. Just talking through my feelings (anger, disappointment, sadness, anxiety) and allowing myself to feel them first and then process them in a healthy way (meditation, anxiety management exercises) was super helpful. I feel much at peace now, trying to see the positive side in everything.
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So sorry that you are hahing to go through this its horrible isnt it. Glad you are able to process all your emotions. What things help you tale yoir mind off things has the therapist given you ways to help x
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I won’t claim that I’ve managed to process ALL my emotions haha 
It’s a journey and right now I feel at peace with the situation.
I am working with a behavioural therapist and we did a few exercises from positive physiology books (gratitude journals, gratitude visits, identifying things that bring me joy and actively pursuing them). Professor Seligman has a lot of free resources on this subject.
We also draw the “in my control” / “outside of my control” picture.
I am also discovering mindfulness and it’s a journey. It is helpful to be rooted in the moment, enjoy what I’m doing right now without thinking about the future. Good food, sunshine, beauty around me. I use the exercises in Headspace app, they even have a special program for cancer. Short meditation sessions have also been helpful.
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Sounds likr its really helped you thats good hope it all works out for you and thank you for sharing your story and what has helped you
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