I am a 43 year old mum to 3 children, aged 7, 5 & 3 and was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago of having Invasive Ductual Carcinoma Grade 2, ER Positive, PR Positive, HER 2 Negative, I have a 33mm solid mass in my right breast. I have had biopsy and MRI and am back next Wednesday to meet my doctor to hear what the plan is. I have already started Tamoxifen and so far no side effects. I have quite small breasts so I am preparing myself for the news that it will be a masectomy rather than a lumpectomy but at this stage I just want it gone. I have found this forum so helpful and re-assuring so thank you to all you very strong courageous people.
My question is for anyone that is/was in a similar position, would you recommend one option over the other, as in masectomy rather than a lumpectomy? My baby is very much a mummys boy and I want whichever one will get me back on my feet quickest for all of my childrens sake. Does a masectomy generally mean you dont need chemotherapy?
Thank you for any help you can give. My head just spirals sometimes and Im afraid for the future
Hiya, welcome to the forum, I’m so sorry you find yourself here with us
Wow you have your hands full with 3! I think its safe to say you’ll breeze through all of what’s to come with them keeping you busy
I was diagnosed with ER positive HER2 negative on 3rd Nov. My treatment plan was delayed slightly because my MRI found a patch they wanted to investigate more. It turned out to be benign which was good. Although terrifying at the time because I wasnt expecting to have more biopsies etc I’m glad at how thorough they are. Ive said it a few times here but its worth repeating if only to remind myself, the more they find the better treatment will be for us
I went into my treatment plan meeting fully convinced I would ask for a double mastectomy but the doctors and breast care nurses were very good at explaining my situation to me. My doctor advised just a lumpectomy for now for various reasons and to let him try to get clear margins and if we dont then we still have a back up plan. Honestly I researched so much and I still came out accepting something I didnt expect! We are all so different it’s really hard to say what’s best until they give you all the facts.
As for the chances of chemo I think it just depends on so many different factors not just if you have a lumpectomy or mastectomy. Age, type, stage, grade, spread and god knows what else. But none of that they really know until after the op.
I’m sorry you have to do some more waiting. This honestly is the worst part.
Thank you so much for your reply and sorry you are going through this too.
I suppose I’m trying to get ahead of myself wanting the answers so I’m ready for what they will tell me. Its all such a waiting game, from appointment to appointment, i just want to know the plan now.
I completely understand. You’re a mum and we need plans! I have 2 daughters aged 12 and nearly 15. I can’t imagine adding all this to my plate when they were younger.
I have read a few times though that it’s our mum determination that gets some people through this. What choice do we have but to put them first when they are so young. You’ll find that strength once you know your plan
Keep reading through this forum. There is so much wisdom and experience here. And it’s much better at helping you form decisions than google haha
Sorry I’m probably not much use as I’m around the same stage as you, I’ve had all my appointments/multiple biopsies and getting the full treatment plan with consultant on Wed. Although the breast care nurse rang on Thurs to give me the results of the last MRI meeting and said I’m suitable for a lumpectomy and then booked me to see consultant to discuss on detail. I find this helps me so much so I’m not going into appointments blindly not knowing what to expect.
Do you have a breast care nurse or anybody that can tell you results and options before the appointment so that you can have a good think once you know for certain what your options are? I know all hospitals are different!
I have a 2 and 5 year old so I know how you feel, I beleive from what others have said a lumpectomy is much easier to recover from but before I’d been told I could have a lumpectomy I kept a real open mind to the possibility of a mascetomy and decided if they said that was the best option for me I would go with it and trust them!
Hope you’re feeling OK, I imagine your 3 little ones are keeping your mind distracted! Sending love x
Hi @3minimes welcome to the forum, you’ll get a lot of support here.
In general recovery from a lumpectomy will be quicker than a mastectomy however your surgeon should give you a clear idea about which is best for you for the long term once all the data is in. As you have a Grade 2 er+ tumour, once it has been extracted during surgery, it will most likely be sent away for an Oncotype test which will determine whether chemotherapy is beneficial. Unfortunately the sample is sent to the USA for testing so it can take a couple of weeks to get the result but it is usually very accurate (it also gives an indication of likely recurrence). Well over 65% of women with breast cancer do not have to have chemo but it can be necessary for some even having had a mastectomy. So, there will inevitably be some more waiting for results after surgery but at least the damned thing will be gone. I was 66 when diagnosed (70 now) and I feel it is so bloody unfair for young mothers to have to go through this trauma when having young children is so exhausting (but rewarding) at the best of times. The vast majority of us go through treatment and come out the other side, maybe bruised but unbeaten, and go on to live cancer-free lives but whilst going through it, it’s not always easy to stay positive so use the forum to ask questions and download how you’re feeling as much as you need.
Hi, I don’t have any advice as in the same situation as you so just wanted to say hi. I am back at the consultant on Thursday to hear the plan, last time I spoke to her she said probably mastectomy due to size of lump (38mm) and small boobs - I’ve totally come to terms with that and just want to get on with it. I was told chemo was a maybe, honestly my thought is just throw everything at it, I have a few friends who went through chemo and all I have read in these forums has said it’s a rollercoaster but we are lucky that we have access to this. It must be really difficult with wee ones but
I’m worried about recovery - my partner is amazing but doesn’t live with me a my daughter and can only be here the weeks he doesn’t have his kids, so I am worried about how I will cope. My 12 year old is going to grow up very quickly, she barely makes her own breakfast and I have to tell her to get out of bed about 25 times each morning. If it was pre Christmas surgery at least there would be some time with less pressure but looking less and less likely now. I’m like you, I just want a plan so I can get things moving and teach the child how to cook anything other than scrambled egg!
sending positive thoughts - there are some really bad Christmas movies on Netflix which are keeping me distracted, although the Jingle Bell Heist neatly tipped me over the edge yesterday with the mum who has cancer and the NHS can’t provide treatment
Thank you so much for your reply @tigress, sorry to hear you had to go through this. I think the waiting is the hardest part and trying to not let your mind go the worst possible scenario, thank you for your kind words and support x
Hi @rubytuesday sorry to hear you are going through this too, like you, I have kind of accepted that it might be a masectomy and I’m ok with that (sometimes!), I just want it gone and get on with my life.
Thank you for reaching out, ill be thinking of you this week x
Your 12 year old sounds a lot like mine @rubytuesday
@3minimes I tried to find as many photos as I could of mastectomy and double mastectomy and reconstruction. I really wanted to throw myself into how real women look instead of trying to imagine it in my head. That helped me come to terms with the changes and after reading so many stories here I started to come to terms with it and it was much less worrying. The operation itself seems a lot to recover from but most say its much easier than they expected.
At the end of the day none of us wanted to be here, none of us asked for this but there is life after it all. Maybe even a happier calmer life. If I come out of this a bit different physically but alive and kicking then I’m ok with that
The recommendation on wide excision (lumpectomy) versus mastectomy is likely to be a technical one based on the size and placement of the tumour versus the size of the breast. If they can get a good cosmetic result, they are likely to recommend a lumpectomy. It’s easier to recover from a lumpectomy, although they might need to go back for a further operation if they don’t get clear margins. Similarly they will likely take away the sentinel node and a small number of others from your armpit for sampling, and may recommend further surgery to clear out remaining nodes if the sampled nodes are positive. I don’t think the recommendation on chemo or not would be affected by the type of surgery you have; that will be determined by the pathology of the tumour and the risk of recurrence. I think for a ER+ cancer the combination of oestrogen inhibitors and CDK inhibitors is commonly used and for many people means additional chemo isn’t needed. Most people seem to have radiotherapy.
Hi there and welcome I’ve finished my active treatment and think mine was the same as yours mine was 2cm and I had a lumpectomy on 11th December 2024 I’m in the UK and think most tumours under 5cm will be a lumpectomy please someone correct me if I’m wrong I then had two week wait for results on the lump to determine treatment plan which was 6 rounds of adjuvant EC-T chemo and 15 days of radiotherapy all too prevent it returning I finished chemo in June was tough my hairs growing back now and as I am premenopausal I’m on tamoxifen and a jab in my tummy to shut my ovaries down every 3 months and a bone infusion every 6 months as chemo can weaken bones I’m getting there and still get tired although I was dreading chemo the most I’m glad I had it to mop up any cells the worst part now is fear of it returning but I wish you lots of love on your journey and feel free to ask anything
I don’t come on this forum much anymore but do for the odd thing.
I could have written your post myself july 2022 when I was diagnosed so wanted to reply.
My boys were 4 and 1. I had 5cm right side er+ pr+ hr- mass. My boob’s were small and they recommended mastectomy after chemo for the best result as it was close to skin and chest wall. I trusted their expertise and advice.
The only tthing in hindsight was - it wasn’t in my lymph nodes breast or armpit on initial mri but when I had the mastectomy after chemotherapy it was in my breast lymph node and so I had armpit clearance and it was in one node there.
They can’t answer if it was so microscopic it wasn’t detected or if it spread during chemo. I still believe I did it in the right order for me to get the best clearance on my chest. But it’s worth being mindful of.
You’ve got a big treatment plan in front of you but there is so much support and once you get going with it you’ll feel like your tackling the cancer head on. Well done for finding it - be kind to yourself
Thank you @clare4 for your reply and I am sorry you had to go through this too.
Do you mind me asking how quick your recovery was after surgery? How long after could you lift or carry your boys? My biggest fear in all of this is my children been scared or worried about me, our eldest girl is a real worrier and Im hoping to hide this as much as I can from them.
Thank you again for taking the time to reply to me x
I can’t really remember how long the no lifting my kids recommendation was for but I know I went to singing group with my 1 year old with my drains in and got my dad to drive me there!
I’m a bit of a stubborn head strong kinda girl who perhaps rightly or wrongly had to get though the tough times head on and in my own way.
I wasn’t very good at accepting help or taking it easy! It was my children that probably gave me the strength and inspiration to push forward.
It’s tough but doable and children are bright and resilient. Be honest and open but don’t over explain anything. I told my 4 year old my husband and I were going shopping when I dropped them off at their nanny’s for my first chemo. I could tell he didn’t belive me. That’s the only lie I ever told him.
I hope you’re managing to get some sleep before your apt today.
I met my surgeon today, they are recommending a massectomy and reconstruction to be done on the 8th January. The left breast looks clear as do the lymph nodes, they will still do the lymph node biopsy to be sure. Now i need to prepare myself for that, im glad i have the Christmas with the kids and then in the new year, when they are all back in school, hopefully, it will be easier for recovery. Im dreading not been able to do much, like you @clare4 im very independent but know that I am going to need help. My own family live 4 hrs away and my inlaws are close by but wouldnt normally help out much.
I think I might do a bit of batch cooking over Christmas and have the freezer well stocked, there is not much else I can do i dont think.
Thank you all again for your messages, this forum is a God send x
Hi! Sounds like you have a plan and the timings will work out with having christmas with the kids then surgery early new year.
I’m trying to think of any post surgical tips…. The not lifting thing is a bit of a bind. I was told nothing heavier that a cup of tea for the first few days then a kettle. I didn’t drive for weeks either.
Perhaps draw up a rota of help for school run help? Or after school play dates.
Perhaps see if you can book a cleaner in once a week for a couple of hours for the first few weeks. That would be a godsend!
