Scared and Tearfull
Scared and Tearfull Hi,
I posted about a month ago as Mum had been diagnosed with BC and mets in spine. Had some lovely replies and pulled myself together. Been strong since no crying just being positive.
She has now had RT on her spine and this helped but last week she had her first FEC of 6. Instead of the start of her getting better it has knocked me sidewards as she now looks so ill.
I have spent the last three days crying everytime I think about it and at every kind word spoken to me. I now feel worse than when she was diagnosed.
Can anyone tell me why I feel like this or share what they have gone through as I am not coping. All I can think of now is her dying I can’t look forward positively.
Lisa
Lisa most ladies on FEC report it’s very tough going.
Don’t cry- just help your Mum through it- best thing for both of you.
Was very grateful to both of my daughters for helping me through chemo and a lot else- they were/are a great comfort and that TLC really boosts me over the bad patches.
Better days will come for both of you, best wishes, dilly
There is a light at the end of the tunnel Lisa,
Just stay positive - I know its hard as you want answers now (I know I do) but you’ve just got to be strong. Your mum may initially look poorly but remember her body is going through a lot and needs to get use to the tirade of drugs (as my mum says just gota get through this stage and she is like your mum having just had the 1st FEC)- Just keep her being positive and you need to think positive or you’ll be ill and no good to her!
There is nothing wrong with how you feel so don’t worry about that its normal you love your mum like I do and we’re both scared of losing them.
If your anything like me the treatment is worse as it makes me realise mum is ill, as her mastectomy in my head was just an operation, but now i have to admit to myself its cancer. But i am staying positive to keep her upbeat (Yes I have my seriously wobbly days which is awful as I live alone) but hey better out than in I say (wouldn’t be saying that at the time though!!).
You’ll be amased what a difference a few days makes mum looked very flushed and tired after her first session but seems ok now. Talk to her and see how she feels - tell her she looks good.
Keep us posted - Chin up sweetheart!
Thank You Thank you for your lovely message. I am feeling a lot better today as Mom has been out today for a little walk.
Also I spoke to my friend this morning about how scared I was because my Mom looked so ill and she said to me that I must remember it is the Chemo that is making her look ill not her cancer. That helped me a lot.
Thanks again
Lisa X
It is a shock Lisa,
Just to add I remember seeing my mum after her 1st Fec and being really upset as I was shocked that now she looked like a cancer patient.
I especially noticed it later on when I saw her out in places where “normal” people were and I just wanted to protect her - I worried her wig would blow off in the wind or people would stare. But I realised people are kinder than you think and those that are not are not worth bothering about.
I used to think this poison is making her better and killing the cancer as your friend said.
Be strong but also dont beat yourself up for being upset it is a difficult time for all your family - Remember your mum is still the same person and tell her how much you love her lots.
Thinking of you.
Sarah xxx
Less Tearful Hi Sarah,
Thank you for your message.
I have gradually improved this week and that has been down to the messages of support here, my friends and spending time with my Mom.
Although she has already bought her wig we got it out and made sure she was happy with putting it on as I have noticed that her hair is already coming out.
You are right in what you say about other people, the people I initially thought would be least helpful in supporting me, Mom & Dad have turned out to be the best. Their kindness really gives me faith although it does also still make me cry.
Thanks again.
Lisa XX