Scared and Waiting

Hello,
I live in Canada, so I hope it’s ok that Im posting here.

I had my annual screening mammogram in October and it was fine - I have heterogeneously dense breasts amd cysts but they appeared unchanged.
Because of my density I’m also required to have an Automatic Breast Ultrasound (ABUS) which I had done last Tuesday. On Friday I got a call that a follow up manual ultrasound and possible biopsy is required
My birads was listed as 4.
I’m absolutely terrified.
My doctor said we don’t know anything until after the ultrasound, and even if they do the biopsy, it might not be cancer.
All I can think is that the radiologists clearly think it’s cancer, otherwise they would have given birads 3.
Does the fact that I had a clear ABUS last year in amy way a good sign? I am having trouble functioning. My tests are tomorrow but I’m stressed beyond words now.
The ABUS reported a mass, irregular, that looked suspicious. I have no idea if the birads is a, b, or c.

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Sorry you find yourself here, hopefully one of the bcn nurses will be able to offer some answers to your questions :heart: please keep hold of the fact till a professional tells you, you have breast cancer, you do not have breast cancer :heart: the waiting and wondering what’s going on is hard because no one tells you much, you might want to ask your team additional questions when you see them that you would like answers to a little notebook to write your questions and their responses in maybe? I know writing my questions down prior to appointments helped me not forget anything I wanted answers on :two_women_holding_hands: do reach out here at bcn and do look at the bcn website bcn is here for you :heart::two_hearts::two_hearts::sparkles::sparkles:Shi xx

Thank you so much for replying! All of my support people (my husband and 2 best friends) are telling me the same thing.
I just feel frozen right now. I know approximately where the mass is located in my breast, and I feel like I can feel it internally. Im so, so, so scared.

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The waiting and not knowing what’s going on or if you do or do not have breast cancer sends everyone :rocket: and please do keep off dr Google, I think everyone goes straight to dr Google trying to work things out while you wait to find out if you do or do not have breast cancer :heart: you could phone the number on here and speak to a nurse and also do let your own team know how you are feeling about everything, they are there to support and help you :heart: you are still you and you are still you regardless of what investigations results will be :heart: do keep reaching out on here, bcn is here and everyone on the threads is here while you are waiting to find out :two_women_holding_hands: and also you have great support from husband and friends too :heart: but you are likely to be like everyone here trying to protect everyone from exactly that your :exploding_head:which is where bcn and everyone here can give you :two_women_holding_hands::heart: where you can come to and let out what’s running through you mind like you are doing :heart: we can be extra virtual ears across the pond :+1::two_hearts::two_hearts::sparkles::sparkles:Shi xx

I really appreciate it. Ive been obsessively going over my ABUS report, and Im now terrified that I have triple-negative cancer. Im scared that any back pain that Ive had is due to it spreading. I havent had a lot of pain, just aches here and there. Im scared that this has shown up in the year since my last ABUS, and that it means it’s super aggressive. Every time I try to feel brave and determined to deal with whatever, I think of some new horrible thought that send sme back into a panic. I don’t know how Im going to handle tomorrow. I feel like Im cracking up.

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Please let us know how your appointment goes. If you do get told you have breast cancer, try and find out what type you have and reach out in here, forum members will reach out and this includes people currently going through treatment and people who have finished treatments. If you are told you have tnbc then a good book that helped me is surviving triple negative breast cancers by Patricia prijatel. And if you are told don’t try processing it all at once, find out what treatment plan is and again reach out on here​:two_women_holding_hands: we know you are in Canada you advised in your first post and if you are told you have breast cancer, remember your team have seen it all before and know what to do and if you do have breast cancer your treatments will be tailored specifically to you :heart: we are all sending virtual support across the pond, do let us know how you get on today :heart::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_women_holding_hands::two_women_holding_hands:Shi xx

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I know it’s hard to wait. Age is a factor in breast cancer. Before aged 60 it’s quite rare, although that’s no consolation if you get it before aged 60. I was 48 at my first diagnosis. I am now 68 and was 67 at my second diagnosis. Both times I was diagnosed with early breast cancer which is treatable. So I would say I’ve been through all sorts of terrors and I am still here. I still have many moments of terror but luckily that makes no difference to survival. I’ve also gone through a lot of anger - WHY ME! But then, why not me? I try and put it in proportion as given my current age, something is going to get me in the next twenty to thirty years. Might as well accept it and live my best life. That might mean having treatment or not as the case may be. One day at a time. I can change my mind, I can enjoy and appreciate life now I know it’s not for ever.

Seagulls

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I’m in awe of the kindness and bravery of the women on this site. I feel like an absolute wreck in comparison.
I’ve been barely functional all weekend, hardly eating and sleeping, aggravating my loved ones with my worries. Today will probably be just another step in the waiting game. They’re going to do the biopsy, and then it will be the wait for the result.
I’ve had health anxiety my whole life, and now I’m in the middle of my greatest fear.

I want to be brave like you all, and treat this one step at a time. But I’m frozen with fear right now.

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My head keeps spinning with all the reasons that I think I have bc: I went through early menopause at 36 and was on HRT from ages 40 to 47; I had a total hysterectomy this last August (due to uterine hyperplasia, also possibly caused by the HRT), and my dr decided on no hormone therapy after that (I’ve read online that you’re at risk for bc after a hysterectomy because your hormones drop – does anyone know about that?); I don’t eat healthy and don’t exercise much; my mom had bc (diagnosed in her 60s and successfully treated with hormone blockers until her death from MS-related illness a few years later) and my dad’s sister had it (after a mastectomy and chemo and radiation she’s been ok for over 10 years now); I never had kids.
My hopes seem so slim.

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I do appreciate the fact, though, that if I hadn’t had the supplementary ABUS, I would have just taken my all-clear mammogram and not known what’s going on inside me, for another year at least.

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Hi @ejwall,

Welcome to the forum - as you can see it’s a very supportive place and I hope it can comfort you during this worrying time. Waiting for appointments and results can be really nerve-wracking but we’ll be here with you every step of the way :heart:

All the best,

Alice

I think you need to put this questions into the ask the nurse section if you are unable to phone the number on here. You need to also let your team know how this is impacting on you, they might be able to prescribe something that could help while you await results or there might be a local support network too that’s closer to you that will also help :heart: don’t be hard on yourself we have all been where you are now and step by step and day by day we get through and are an ear for those who like you are in process of being tested and reach out here, we all hope when you receive your results after biopsy you are ok and some on here have been ok after biopsy and pop back on and let us know they are ok and others end up joining the threads when they’ve been advised they do have breast cancer. It would help you to post on the ask the nurse section so one of the bcn nurses can assist you too :heart::two_hearts::two_hearts::sparkles::sparkles:Shi xx

I did email the nurses and unfortunately they can’t advise me because they can only speak to how things work in the UK. They did provide me with some links to Canadian resources.

But you guys have something special here! There are no forums like this in Canada.

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:heart:do email your resources in Canada and maybe you could start something in Canada that could be equivalent to bcn if you get your health system to help you? Just an idea and either way that your results come back you’d b still me helping others :heart: take it steady after your biopsies and do keep off dr Google till a professional tells you you have breast cancer, you do not have breast cancer, do tell your team how you are feeling, they could prescribe you something to help while you wait for results :heart: do not let it take your joy, you are still you no matter what your results are. As the amazing beautiful FiMillan who was a member of this forum said, enjoy every minute of life that you possibly can :heart:because we owe it to those who are no longer with us to live for them too and be their voices so together everywhere in the world breast cancer checks, trials and treatments continue to improve and evolve and screening ages are lowered to give everyone better options of preventable treatment and treatments :heart::two_hearts::two_hearts::sparkles::sparkles:Shi xx

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I had my supplementary scan, and itnwas all good! They didn’t even do the biopsy. The area of concern the other scan showed was actually part of a ligament.

I am tremendously relieved and grateful. I want to thank everyone who replied to me and I’m sorry for wasting anyone’s time. You are an amazing group and I wish all of you the best health and happiness!

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Keep reaching out :heart: you don’t have to do the waiting for results on your own, don’t ever apologise your amazing and even though you might be :flushed:silly right now, we are proof that if you do get diagnosed that there is kindness and understanding and support here at bcn and the threads :heart: it’s a shame you don’t have something like this in Canada and we’ve heard it so many times from other countries too but :two_women_holding_hands:we have people form all over the world like yourself who reach out, we have them join the threads when they’ve required treatment and drawn strength from just the invisible safety blanket that’s here at bcn :heart:keep reaching out and keep asking and please do update us with results everyone here does care :heart::two_hearts::two_hearts::sparkles::sparkles:Shi xx

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