scared to cry

i’m all in a spin since i found he lump yesterday, still waiting for appointment from breast clinic, i want to release my emotions but i’m scared to cry as i feel it would be addmitting that i have bc,
i feel really stupid i normaly cope well and have an attitude of theres no point worrying until i know ,but i can’t help it.

Hi chrissy
Finding a lump is very scary & having a good cry is probably the best thing, you may feel better afterwards. Being upset about finding the lump doesn’t mean the lump will be bc, it is far more likely not to be and if thats confirmed at the breast clinic you’ll be crying again with relief and thats normal too. Don’t feel stupid, you normally cope well with normal life as we all do but finding a lump is scary & the waiting for the clinic & results is often the worst bit. Wishing you all the best, take it gently,
best wishes rivergirl x

Hey Chrissy

Have a good blub! I did yesterday for the first time and I feel tons better! You need that release… there’s nothing wrong with letting it out so don’t be too hard on yourself. I’ve been through a range of emotions in the past two months but ultimately better now I’m getting checked out. I know it’s hard to think positive when all you can think of is the big ‘C’ word, but I’ve had loads of great support through this site and I’m sure you will feel a little better even by typing out your feelings.


Hi Chrissy

Crying is not admitting that you have bc, it is letting out all of the worries, frustrations and fears that come along with a lump or symptoms that could be bc. If you need to cry you go ahead, you are not being stupid you are perfectly normal. I think I replied to you yesterday on Jo’s thread, this is a difficult time for you and we have all been there whether we were diagnosed or not, and remember that 9 out of 10 lumps are benign, and even if it was bc the treatment has come a long way, even saying these things will not really make you feel any better because the mind does funny things to us when things like this happen. You keep talking to us, let us know when your appointment is, you are not on your own.

Yvonne xx

right i have just recieved my app its on the 28th at 10am
got to go now and brave the rain to pick up the kids
bysey bye speak later

Hi Chrissy

Dont be hard on yourself finding a lump sends your head all over the place. Have a good cry and it might make you feel a bit better.
I’m afraid the waiting is awful but it could be benign!!! (that would be fab)

Take care there is always someone to talk to you here it has helped me no end

Kay x

Great news you have your appointment. :slight_smile: The waiting is a nightmare, but having been in your shoes, and being diagnosed with a benign lump (which i elected to have removed), I can totally sympathise.

I was given great advice of reading up on things, but not getting down hearted. Writing down likely questions etc that you want to ask and taking a pen and notepad in with you for answers etc. Also another person that can listen and feedback wiht you after if you can’t remember everything that is said.

Try to remain positive, the % of benign is very high. ((Hugs))

thanks hugs for the advice, i’ll do that ,its a good idea that i write it down cause i’ll just end up like a nodding dog with my head spinning.
nobody knows but my hubby, and all you lovely people ofcorse , but should i tell my mom?she worries a lot and i will feel guilty if i find out theres nothing to worry about,
my hubby (martin) says i should and he makes me feel guilty as he says he wishes he still has his mom to talk to , as she died 6 years ago.also my mom may be hurt if i don’t tell ,arhhhhh please help .

hi chrissy,
its a difficult one whether to tell your mum, i didn’t tell mine till i had a definite diagnosis as knew she’d wory. i think all you can do is go with your gut instinct & what you feel is best at the time. take care,
best wishes rivergirl x

Hey Chrissy

Another day closer to the 28th… I’m the 23rd and nervous as anything. I’ve decided not to tell my mum as she’s a big worrier, it’s not easy tryin to act normal when all you wanna do is blurt it out. Don’t let your hubby make you feel guilty though, I don’t think your mum would feel hurt if you get some proper diagnosis first, she might even feel grateful you checked it out and spared her - who knows - only you can make the decision on who to include in this. I’m hoping for the 9 out of 10 bracket and then no one will ever need to know. Fingers crossed for us both!!


Good news that you now have your appointment, and if you feel you want to cry then gfo ahead. As others have said crying is not admitting that you have got BC - it’s admitting that you are scared, and that is totally understandable.

As for telling your Mum - I am approx 200 miles away from my family and I didn’t tell any of them until it was confirmed, on the basis that there was no point in them worrying until there was something to worry about. I told my son that I was going for tests on a lump but played it down - told a couple of ppl at work ie my immediate boss cos I needed time off and another girl cos I wanted advice on what happened (she had discovered a lump 2 months previous which turned out to be a cyst) - she was great and even took time off to take me to the hospital. Once it was confirmed I phoned my family and told them, as well as telling the rest of the ppl at work.


Talking about keeping it to yourself or telling your mum?

I kept mine to myself for 3 weeks then eventually went to see gp, when I saw how worried she was I went home and blubbed to my hubby, who then blubbed to his mum and consequently, they travelled 350 miles to stay with us while I went for tests. Mine turned out to be innocent (thankfully) but I did feel awful about dragging them down all that way for nothing, but htey were glad to help out with children as I was on autopilot that week.

What I am trying to say is, even though I felt I had wasted everyones time, they didn’t see it that way and were glad they knew, which meant they could offer their support. You know your mum, would she feel same or would she crumble at the slightest mention of bc and need support herself?

Good luck, I hope you get the all clear, but if not then this is the right place to get support when you need it, This website kept me sane all through.

Best wishes

thanks everyone for your thoughts,

well we live 12 miles from each other and i don’t drive, so i made up an excuse for her to come and visit as i didnt want to tell her over the phone,
she came yesterday lunch time so i never got chance to read your comments ,sorry i was cutting it a bit fine i couldn’t make my mind up even when she sat next to me on the sofa, so i took a deep breath put a big smile on my face and told her very calmly and played it down saying the doc didnt think it was anything to worry about its just routine tests.
she was great and guest that something was wrong anyway so its a good job i told her , i feel a lot more positive now ,
like jo going on the 9 out of 10 bracket,
as for the crying i got a little teary singing a song very loud in my living room to my daughter (shes only 17 months ) then she gives me a funny look and I’m laughing at her ,the children help a lot to keep my mind busy ,
i start to cry then fight it away , positivity is the key ,

Hi Chrissy
I’m sure you’ll find she’s a great support now - my mum would be a quivering wreck! But then she’s bad with her nerves and suffered with agoraphobia for years so I try and keep as much as possible from her if she doesn’t need to know!
Anyway kid - we’re in the 9 out of 10 gang! Riding the rollercoaster in the meantime is just a surreal feeling, I’ve lost pounds already so every situation has it’s positives! ha! Counting down the days with you…
Big hugs

Hi Chrissy,

All the best for the 28th, I’m the 22nd and had decided to keep stum from my mum as she is such a worrier - After reading how it went for you I think I will share my my mum at the weekend!

Wow - this site and the comments really do make such a huge difference,

Hey Chrissy

I was lucky that my mum was actually in Australia visiting my brother when I had to go to the breast clinic last year but I dont think I would have told her at the time because she is nearly 80. Obviously if I had had to have any more treatment I would have but I was lucky in that way.

I hope you are doing ok.

Yvonne xx

only a week left to go,

chrissy x x