Hi, after finding a lump a few weeks ago, I had a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy 12 days ago. I go back tomorrow for the results. I am pretty certain this is going to be malignant, I am not only a nurse myself but an oncology nurse…and never thought I’d be going through this. I turned 40 just last week, which went by in a blur. More worryingly I have arm, shoulder and rib pain and obviously thinking the worst. What upsets me more is thinking of telling my children, 12 and 10 year old girls…it breaks my heart. Fed up of people telling me ‘it’ll be nothing, just a cyst’! I can’t work due to the nature of my job…it’s not somewhere I can go to take my mind off it! Was sent home after a week of dragging myself in and just breaking down…no use to my own patients. Scared as hell to say the very least.
Any support/encouragement will be gratefully received xxx
Dear Joanne
I am sorry you are having such a worrying time, along with the support and shard experiences your fellow users will be along with soon our helpliners are on hand in the morning from 9am if you need a listening ear.
Helpline 0808 800 6000 weekdays 9-5 and Sat 10-2
Take care
Lucy BCC
Hi Joanne
So very sorry to hear of the position that you find yourself in. The waiting really is the worst part and I’m not going to say everything will be ok but simply that my thoughts will be with you tomorrow. I was diagnosed with grade 2 breast cancer on 7th March this year and work as a Palliative Care CNS. I did the same as you and went off sick immediately, unable to do my job and not believing it was happening to me. Even before I was diagnosed, I was terrified-my knowledge made me far worse. Once I had my diagnosis, I found it became a little easier. I have a son (he is 20) and can totally relate to your worries, no matter what age our children are, young or old, as Mothers, our instinct is to protect them. Once I had my treatment plan, I felt more in control and now 6 months down the line I cope better than I ever thought (I am the world’s biggest wuss).
I truly wish you all the luck in the world for tomorrow and hope your results are not as you fear. Inbox me if you need to offload or chat, I really don’t mind.
Take care and good luck, Lynne x
Hi Joanne
I am sorry you are having such a s****y time waiting is the worst bit. I do hope it is nothing but if it is you of all people will know how treatable it can be? I do think though that probably doesn’t help sorry!!!
Good luck for your results tomorrow will keep my fingers crossed for you. I am having my 3rd chemo tomorrow so will definitely have you in my thoughts!!! This is my second time have new primary so definitely can tell you that it is doable with some confidence!
Sending you very best wishes and a hug!!!
Jill
Thank you all, I truly mean that. So much running through my head I can barely think straight! One tiny step at a time! I will hopefully post tomorrow and update you. X
Hi again
Well I have my diagnosis confirmed now. I have invasivel ca no staging as yet. I actually feel ok in a strange way, relieved that we now know what we are dealing with. Its very small and hopefully caught very early so fingers crossed. Having MRI and a microbubble node biopsy next week to help with treatment planning. Hoping to do a lumpectomy followed by radiotherapy and possibly chemo, but because of the positioning (very superficial and close to nipple) then might do mastectomy and reconstruction for aesthetic reasons-will find out on 8th oct after MRI.
They aren’t concerned in the slightest about my other aches and pains and were very reassuring that it won’t be anything other than my cancer trainef brain working overtime!
I’m going to the gp tomorrow for a sick note, I won’t go back to work until after surgery, I don’t feel I’ll be I the right place mentally to look after my own patients properly and that’s not fair on them. We’re going to tell our daughters at the weekend and just be completely honest with them.
Ladies, thank you so much for seeing me through a very difficult night…I think I was at my lowest point last night…though I know I’ll have a fair few more to come! But at the moment…to say I’ve just been diagnosed with cancer. …I feel pretty positive.
Xxxx
**invasive ductal ca** trying to type on my phone and the curser keeps jumping!!
Thanks Vonnie, so sorry to hear about your mum too, sounds like you’ve had a real tough time. Glad that you are slowly getting back on your feet, however the ironing will be the very LAST thing that I take on board! Cats are great for being a comfort aren’t they. We lost our elderly cat earlier this year and the kids keep pestering us to get another, it migjt give them something else to think about.
Thanks poemsgalore, I seem to have read quite a lot of your posts on here, you are indeed very encouraging and supportive! You are right about being ‘in the waitimg room’, I like that! I know I’m in the right waiting room now!
Had a good day on the whole, did have a little wobble when I started to read all the stuff my BCN gave me as there was a booklet on talking to the children. I know we need to do it and we will, but they have already lost a few close family to various cancers and know they will inevitably think the worst, they’ll be ok though.
Sending you all big hugs xxx