Hi. I’m new here. This is my first post. Sorry it’s a long one…
I have suffered from severe depression and anxiety for many years. My cancer diagnosis was devastating - it came 5 months after my Dad died from prostrate cancer that had spread to his bones.
I was diagnosed with hormone positive stage 2 breast cancer 8 months ago after a routine mammogram. I had a lumpectomy without clear margins so that needed reoperating on and it had spread to my lymph nodes so I had a axillary node clearance. Next was 4 x EC chemo over 12 weeks followed by 12 x weekly Taxol. Total 6 months of chemo which I completed 3 weeks ago. I’m now having radiotherapy x 10 sessions.
I am seeing my oncologist in 2 weeks to discuss hormone therapy that he wants me to take I don’t know yet which one and another oncologist I saw suggested I may also have to take abemaciclib.
The side effects of both look horrible and I’m more petrified of this than even chemo. I don’t think I can take this on. My body can’t take any more. My mind can’t take any more.
I fully appreciate doing everything I can to increase my chance of being cancer free is imperative. But also I’ve been clinging on to a speeding cancer juggernaut for 8 months that has taken over my life and nothing has been in my control for all this time. I’ve done everything I can to fight it. I’ve been very strong throughout but it has been very hard for me to try to manage depression and anxiety as well as cancer! I now need some sort of control back in my life to heal this trauma in my mind and get my body back from operations that have changed my appearance and toxic chemo drugs that have ravaged my body. I’m still dealing with the fall out. Thankfully because of using a cold cap I only lost half my hair but it’s still falling out. My eyebrows are gone. My eyelashes are gone and my eyes are gritty and sore. I have nosebleeds. I have mouth ulcers. My bones ache. I have pins and needles and numbness. My lungs ache. I have crippling fatigue. I’ve put on an enormous amount of weight. None of my clothes fit me. I need to lose at least 3 Stone. My self esteem and confidence are rock bottom.
So what do I do? Does anyone have any experience on what the statistics are of cancer returning if I don’t go on hormone therapy? Or if it’s a thing to delay starting it for a few months whilst I start exercising again and lose some weight and feel normal again for a while?
thank you