I imagine I’m okay and then I speak to my mum and BANG, the reality hits me in the face. She’s having a masectomy next week and apparently all the lymph nodes are being removed too, as a precautionary measure. I don’t know why but I’m suddenly crying hard at this news. Maybe it’s the realisation that it IS serious stuff and they’re having to cut parts of her away because those parts are going to destroy other parts. It’s all so scary and so sad. I never thought I’d be in this situation with my mum and the fact we’re not an open family makes it harder. She appears to be coping so well but her “going to get on with it” approach brings more tears to my eyes. Maybe it’s about a parent who seems so invincible while underneath the surface her body is doing crazy things and she IS vulnerable. It’s that vulnerability. She can’t hide that anymore, like she has always done, because it’s real, it’s in an illness.

Sorry for this pointless ramble but I feel so desperately sad and alone this evening, no one to speak to and wanted to put it out somewhere. I just hope it doesn’t upset anybody.


its best to get it off your chest and really hard to cope on your own, well done for being proactive and posting, asking for help is a sign that you are being strong and sensible. It sounds like a terrible time for your family, but your mum is very lucky to have such a caring child who is obviously concerned. Yes it is a big operation but many may women have been through it and come out fine the other side. And yes breast cancer is awful and your mum will be finding it hard, but she is protecting you because she loves you. Its horrible feeling vulnerable but things will get easier the further on she gets in her treatment, take care


Overtherainbow, please don’t feel sad and alone tonight. There are lots of people on here who can sympathise with you and your Mum tonight.

Just be there for your Mum and let her know that she can talk to you about anything - she is probably trying very hard to be grown up and not to burden you, but I’m sure she knows that you are there for her.

Sending love and hugs

She xx

P.S. Sounds like your Mum is very lucky to have you for a daughter!

Hi overtherainbow
Dreadful time for you and your Mum, seems so hard for everything to sink in. One moment your life is normal, and the next the worst rollercoaster ride you could imagine!
You just want someone to come along and say, sorry we made a mistake, you are alright!! if only!
Sorry to hear you are not an open family, perhaps with you both going through this, it can open some gates for you both to talk more easily. l do hope so, because she may be trying to protect you and inside she may be crying out for help.

Do you live near enough to your mum to give her the support she needs, if not has she a close friend that will give her support, because no matter how strong she is, she will need someone.

No, it is not a pointless ramble, you ramble away all you like, there will be lots of support for you and your Mum. Does she go on the internet, if so might be an idea to give her this website
You Take Care
Sandra xxx

Thanks so much for the quick replies, really helps to know I’m not alone with this. I’m trying hard to manage and put everything away in ‘boxes’ so I can cope, then every so often it hits me so hard. The lymph nodes being removed has really upset me, makes it real I guess.

I’m a woman with an eight year old child yet I suddenly feel like a child myself. I guess this is what it’s like to be faced with a parent’s serious illness and all the other issues associated with that. It’s a really hard time. Thanks for listening.

Sandra I don’t live nearby sadly, but I will be going to stay at hers just before and after she has the op. She has a good supportive neighbour who is there for her, and some other family live nearby.

Yes she does have internet access and has been given a lot of information about BC, pretty sure she mentioned this website on the list.

Thanks for your support x

Hi Overtherainbow,
Try not to worry too much about the lymph nodes at this stage, they seem to whip them out rather than wait and see and have to go back in for another operation.
Better to get it all done in one operation, l ended up having three ops over 3 months! not what anyone wants! so one op to clear everything is the best way to go.

Good that you are able to give her the support she will need, before and after her op. You will have your hands full with your eight year old, so remember to take some time for yourself. I can understand how you feel, we hate to see our parents suffer, brings back all that childhood love that can sometimes be forgotten as we carry on with our own busy lives.

Just be as supportive as you can over long distance, and try and get her to come on this forum, she will meet lots of friends to talk her through her journey, and we all need support.
Sandra xxx

Thanks for your support Sandra.

My mum finds it hard to reach out for help but I will certainly encourage her to post on here. It can be so much easier and less isolating to know others are going through the same thing…but on the flip side I think it can also bring home the reality, if you see what I mean.

I still feel very sad. So much going on in my life at the moment and doesn’t help I’ve lost my voice with a virus. I feel really overwhelmed by it all.