Diagnosed with Grade 2 invasive ductal breast cancer last week. Waiting for lumpectomy and lymph node sampling on 26 May - really scared. 65 years old and virtually never a day’s sickness in my life. Very supportive family and friends but that doesn’t seem to be enough. Very tearful and emotions all over the place. Got caught up in all the bank holidays so diagnosis wasn’t very quick. Any advice on how to cope.

I’m so sorry you have found yourself here, its such a shock to be diagnosed with bc and everyone reacts differently. Just take each day as it comes, try not to look too far ahead and be kind to yourself. It helped me to be prepared and buy the things I needed to take into hospital, its all about getting some control back in your life as you feel so reliant on other people and life seems run by hospital appts etc. Take care,xxx

Hi Matticom,
So sorry your feeling so bad at the moment but once your treatment plan is in place and you know what your dealing with its not quite so bad. I used meditation especially in the early days just to get through. I live by the NOW rule as advised by a friend when i look at the clock it doesnt tell the time it just says now, now, now. Also play the glad game as in Pollyanna (for those to young to remember Haley Mills film well worth watching even though dated now.) when something bad happens just find something to be glad about. Not everyones idea of getting through BC but it sure works for me.

Hi matticom,

Welcome to the BCC discussion forums, where I’m sure you’ll get lots of good support from the many informed users of this site.

To help you along I’ve put for you below links to some of BCC’s publications you may find useful. They’re all free of charge, you can either download them (except the resource pack) or order a copy on line.

Resource pack:*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/82/

BC and you:*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/89/

Hope this helps, take care,
Jo, Facilitator

Hi Matticom -Yes scared is exactly the right word. I was diagnosed about 18 months ago - I am mid 50’s, andlike you never really had a days illness in my life and it came out of the blue and hit me really hard. Like you I was very tearful and my head was all over the place- I couldn’t concentrate on anything and wasn’t interested in anything.

The days after initial diagnosis are the worst- the black thoughts and the dark places you find yourself in take over. It does get better - once you are clear on your treatment plan and get the surgery over with and the node sampling you will know more and have something to focus on and you will start to see some light at the end of the tunnel. As others say you need to be kind to yourself - allow yourself the tears, don’t feel guilty or weak if you cry - its a release and you need to do this. Its a horrid horrid disease but it is curable and there are many many ladies on here who have gone through what you have and like me are feeling strong both physically and emotionally - The diagnosis does change your life and has a dramatic impact on you and your family but you will get through it and you will look back on it all and be almost ‘proud’ that you did it! Take care x

Hi Matticom,

I was diagnosed with Grade 2 IDC 7 months ago and am 61yrs old. I had 5 nodes removed and they were clear. This was followed by 15 sessions of readiotherapy and I am on Tamoxifen.

This is the worst time,you will be all over the place and as Saffronseed says you will find yourself in some really dark places. Like you I have never been ill and was shocked at the diagnosis as I didn’t feel unwell and had no lumps or bumps.

I can’t really add much to what the other girls have said except I’m thinking about you. Please let us know how it all goes. I don’t post often on the site but have found it invaluable for gleaning info and some of the girls really make me laugh out loud with their wittisisms.


Sorry matticom, should also have said that I had WLE.

Hiya we all know that feeling i was 47 when i was dignosed grade 2 4 node infected i had lumpectomy, chemo rads and then tamoifen that was in 2008 i feel ok now a part from tiredness
Just express how you feel if you want to cry do it if you want to shout do it we all deal with this the best we can.
take care x

Thanks for your comments, really helpful. Lumpectomy done, sentinel node biopsy done. 6 nodes removed and all are clear. Margin around removed lump also clear. Great I thought !!
Unfortunately Grade now upped to a 3 and HER2 positive.
Onc. today and hit with Chemo x 4, rads and a year of Herceptin treatment. After feeling positive, now feeling desperate again. Any one also gone down this route - any advice appreciated. Thanks.

Hi Matticom,

I was diagnosed in December with grade 3 invasive ductal & had lumpectomy & Snb.

I have just finished chemo & due to start Radiotherapy which will be finished by the end of July.

Mine also was upgraded from 2 to 3 after surgery & this seems to be quite common, chemo can be tough for some but is totally doable, i had 6 lots & yes i lost my hair & energy levels were a bit low at times but apart from that all was ok, I am HER - so cant comment on herceptin but someone will be along shortly to advise on that.

Just want you to know that there truly is light at the end of the tunnel & the 1st days are definitely the toughest but once treatment starts you will feel so much better as you will be at the start of getting rid of the C, clear nodes & clear margins are a brilliant starting point.

Take Care & much love

Hi Matticom,

I was diagnosed in December with grade 3 IDC and had surgery and had my last chemo on Tuesday. I am also Her 2 postive and have had 2 lots of herceptin so far. This was given with my last 2 chemo’s but it depends on what chemo you’ll be having as to whether herceptin is given alongside it. I haven’t noticed any side effects with the herceptin so far and the plan for my future ones is to have this given at home via IV which should take half an hour. I’ve still got a mastectomy, then rads and hormone treatment to go but now I’ve finsihed by chemo, I can begin to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Really good news that your nodes are clear! That’s a big postive! There are some threads on here about starting chemo in June/July. It really has helped me to speak to ladies who are at the same stage of treatment.

Good luck with your treatment, as 021210 has said chemo can be tough but it is doable. There a lot of tips on here to help you through. I’ve had some good times still and have managed to work through most of my chemo.

All the best, sending you hugs xxx

I know exactly how you feel. I was diagnosed dcis in april, aged63 and had a mastectomy on the 19th May. my emotions still all over the place. I have an expander fitted in my right breast which has to be removed in a year or two which I did not realise until yesterday. Obviously I was told before my op but did not take everything in. However just getting on with life and like you have a very supportive circle of family and friends.