A week ago I did a breast check, triggered by the photo being shared on social media sites of a lady that had a ‘dent’ in her breast.
To my horror I found that the contour on my right breast changed ever so slightly when I lifted my arms. Scared, I got an appointment with my Doctor who had a look and was amazed that I had noticed it. she had a good feel around but couldn’t find anything. She did say she would be honest if she did find something. Anyway after a few seconds she decided that she would refer me for an ultrasound just to put my mind at rest (I was crying before I even sat in the chair in he surgery!). Trying to stay positive as my appointment is on Tuesday 9th June.
Am all over the place one minute and fine the next.
Sorry for rambling when I haven’t even been diagnosed with anything. Just wanted to write everything down really. I have been lurking here for a few days to avoid reading any more on Google.
Welcome to the BCC discussion forums, I am sure your fellow forum users will be along soon with some much needed support. I am sure they will all tell you that the majority of breast issues are not breast cancer but it is always the best policy to get any changes to your breasts checked out as soon as you can.
If you need to talk to someone in confidence then please do not hesitate to contact our helpline team, the staff are here to support you. Calls are free 0808 800 6000 lines open weekdays 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2
Hi shazbadd, your not rambling, and you have nothing to apologise for, all of us waiting for appointments are feeling the same emotions , and it is good to share your concerns with others. I have found reading people’s journeys on here both reassuring and comforting. I have my appointment on Thursday and am hopefully that everything will be ok , I’m just glad they see you quickly after referal.x
Thank you Nicky1 - trying to keep busy but have no enthusiasm for anything - but when I do get going it does actually take my mind off things - catch 22.
Hope you’re keeping busy too. I agree reading other people’s stories does provide comfort and reassurance. I am constantly glued to my phone at the moment, just reading.
I was very lucky that I didn’t have to wait long to get my appointment confirmed and whilst it seems ages away it isn’t really. I also know that as time goes on I am going to become more nervous. So no more googling, and trying not to keep self checking - I will keep the appointment whatever happens!
Hope it’s good news for you Thursday.
Hi Shaz and Nicky,
The waiting is horrible, isn’t it! Do keep reminding yourself that more ladies come away from breast clinics with good news than bad. Obviously with the nature of this forum, most of us on here got the news that none of us ever dreamt we could cope with but actually, once you know what you’re dealing with we are as tough as we need to be.
The medical teams out there are amazing and great support on here too when you need someone who has been there themselves. Hopefully you won’t need to join us but no part of my treatment was anything like as bad as I imagined when I was at your stage last October.
Nicky1 and Kittkatt
Thanks both for your kind words. I am in awe at the amount of support given on here by those that have been diagnosed and are going through treatment, as well as those waiting for diagnosis/treatment. You are all so selfless in giving support to others when you need it just as much yourselves, so thank you.
I am posting late as have had a night out with hubby (who knows my predicament) and friends (who don’t). It was a fab night so at least I was still able to put a smile on my face.
Nicky I totally agree with you about worrying about how this will all affect the children. I want to cry everytime I look at mine …not so scared for myself really.
Off for a well earned sleep now.
I’m doing great, thanks, Nicky. I was fortunate enough to have a smallish (18mm) tumour of the most common type - invasive ductal - which was removed with clear margins and no node involvement so no chemo required. It was early stage and low grade. Radiotherapy was fine - tired with a hot peeling boob at the time but totally manageable - and I have no side effects from my tamoxifen. So all in all, if I had to have this thing then things couldn’t have gone better.
Shaz, great that you managed a good night out. Sometimes plastering a smile on our faces is the last thing we feel like but actually the fake becomes real and you do get a wee vacation from the all-consuming thought of breast cancer.
Thinking of you both.
At my first clinic appointment I had mammograms, ultrasound and biopsies taken. After all that my surgeon told me he “expected” it would be cancer. That was confirmed one week later when they were able to tell me the type and hormone receptor status of the tumour. I know many ladies seem to wait a lot longer for results which must be really hard. Being of an “it’ll be fine” mindset, I was floored! Then the conveyor belt starts! My way of coping was to get as much information as possible. I wrote every question on my phone as they occurred to me (2 to 4am being a favourite time?) since I would have had no chance of remembering them all in the stress of appointments.
I have realised it’s the mornings that hit me the most, when waking up and suddenly remembering…
Anyway, had a very lazy day watching TV with hubby…a pile of ironing that needs sorting and doing, but that can wait for another day.
Kids getting very excited about a holiday we booked that we are due to go on in about 8 weeks, that I am trying not to think about…would hate to have to tell them we can’t go. But that’s jumping ahead I know, but its so hard not to.
Back to work tomorrow so this should take my mind off things too.
Hope you have all had a good day.
Thank you fir your kind words and ideas. Am so glad you got the all clear, that must be such a relief.
I am trying to get myself motivated to get up for work but can’t seem to put the iPad down. This forum has become my comfort blanket over the weekend.
Best wishes to everyone,
Day surgery does sound positive, here’s hoping the results are too.
Janey, this waiting is hard isn’t it? Strangely, I seem to be in a state of denial. The initial fear seems to have faded, and that scares me, as I know I will then be in for shock if my appointment doesn’t go ‘to plan’.
I have kept myself busy and upbeat, and that is so not like me, as I am glass half empty kind of gal, pessimistic to the very last. So why has my pessimism left me now? Odd - I am worrying about not worrying, so I suppose it’s never ending.
Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine.
And just to add my husband is proving to be not very helpful. Asked me today if I had my appointment this morning! So clearly does not feel it is necessary to come with me and obviously thinks it is just one of those things.
I shouldn’t be surprised about this either, had tried talking to him about my worries over the hol, kids and what this could be, but get absolutely no response.
Could scream at the frustration of it all! Sorry to rant…
Well my pessimism is returning…and hubby is doing more planning for hol. I have had to retreat to the bedroom as I can’t stand being around it all…Tuesday can’t come quick enough.
Red roses sound lovely Janey…and fab news about your business. It will keep your mind focused I am sure. Being at work has helped me, and I never thought I would hear myself say I would rather be at work than at home! For now anyway.
Hope everyone is managing to enjoy their weekend.
Ah Nicky thank you.
Yes Janey best wishes and lots of hugs for tomorrow. Let us know how you get on.
Just had a lovely evening at the pub with some friends so a well needed distraction. On the way home tried to start a conversation with my other half re the hol and what should happen if this should turn pear shaped! His answer was that we will just cancel and he isn’t going to stop planning because of something that might not be.
He’s right I know, but it’s a lot of money and it doesn’t make it any easier!
Still work tomorrow and Tuesday won’t come soon enough. And what a lovely day it was - sat for 2 hours watching my son play cricket and I now look like a panda under my sunglasses! Gave everyone a giggle!
Hope you lovely ladies have had a lovely weekend.
Oh Janey have been thinking about you today, so glad you have good news.
Best of luck with the business.
I read yr posts whilst I was waiting to see why I got called for a second set of mammograms and yr kind works made me want to cry, but had to hold it together in the waiting room.
Anyway, after the mamms, was sent for an US and the lovely doctor said that it was just a precaution as she was sure everything was fine (and explained why the extra mamms).
Anyway have been given the all clear, so am putting the odd contour on my breast down to my age. They were so reassuring about having done exactly the right thing, and I didn’t waste their time.
I know some people have had less than positive experiences, but I could not fault the way I have been treated by the NHS, and I think I would feel that whatever the outcome was.
Best wishes to all you ladies who are still waiting, and sending virtual hugs to you as we know how awful the waiting can be.
Good luck from me too Nicky…I will also be checking in.
Janey enjoy your hol - I am now planning mine with hubby and kids.
Florida for us, holiday of a lifetime trip, with the kids. My eldest won’t want to come with us for much longer as uni beckons. And we’ve always wanted to go. And given the last two weeks, I think this puts into perspective how important family time and making memories is.
Is your appointment tomorrow?
Fingers crossed Nicky, you are right re the odds.
Let us know how you get on, I will be loitering on here…keep busy, sending you lots of hugs.