Dear friends,

Thanks everyone, your comments and thoughts mean a lot. I have managed to get another date from them this morning. They have now postponed it until 19th Feb. So not as bad as the first postponement date. I’ll keep you all posted. I just had a really bad day yesterday and I think all my anxieties got the better of me.

Thanks again for listening and being there. No doubt I will have lots of questions in the near future.

Ladela xxx

Good morning Ladela
Another sunny day : ) well it is here.
So have you a plan to keep you going till the 19th Feb ?(very pleased for you that they have brought the date forward).

Hi Alice,

No I haven’t got a plan, but I have had rather too many glasses of wine tonight. It’s funny, I’ve not been too bad over the last couple of days, but tonight a friend of mine telephoned me, I had to explain everything that is happening week after next, suddenly my body and mind remembered what’s going on… frightening, that feeling in my stomach came back. But heh, I am very lucky compared to a lot of people out there, I just have to keep soldiering on, don’t I. Have no choice. Just want it over with now and the treatment plan finished, just obviously worried about the Sentinal Lymph Node Biopsy, yet to come, want that result asap, so I can start to look forward to what life has to offer again. That would be good. Trying to keep my chin up (or chins I should say!) for the family, you know what I mean. Anyway enough of my waffle, how are you, how have you been.

Thanks so, so much for taking the time to reply to my posts, don’t know what I’d do without you all, you are wonderful.

Take care,
Ladela xx

Hi Ladeda
Yes it is very difficult to turn off the this recent uninvited invasion into your would, how dare it!!! The cheek!!!
The wine works, well it did for me right up to the night before the operation, since I have had no desire for it. Really odd, but probably for the best especially since I am on anti-depressant, yet to kick in I think!!! I do not sleep well, but not consciously thinking about anything, just do not sleep, but I am not at work at the moment(really wish I was)so I try not to let it get me down.
Where they operated is still a little sore and swollen so I think that also disturbs me at night.
You have not got that long to wait!!! 19th isn’t it. Do you work or are you based at home, maybe you could redecorate!!! Maybe not the whole house.
I have done very little since my op. seems like lots of wasted days, but need to start doing stuff find distractions for myself till I reach my next hurdle in a couple of weeks. It is a bit of a twilight zone, you know what I mean.
You take care,

Hi Alice,

Sorry I haven’t been around for the last couple of days, working a lot. I do still work for a charity in the New Forest so that is keeping me busy at the moment. I finish on Friday until after I am fit again after the operation. I am getting very nervous now, pre-op assessment on Thursday (keep your fingers crossed for me) and then the ops next Tuesday 19th. I have been very confused about the whole thing, lots of different appts changed, different letters, one thing to be done in one hospital, the operation in another. Oh well got to grin and bear it I suppose, nothing more we can do I suppose. I am of mixed mind at the moment, worried what I will look like after the op and how I will feel, what the Sentinal Lymph Node op will be like etc. etc. etc. What have you had done so far Alice? How are you feeling now? Please let me know. Have you had the Sentinal Lymph Node test, how did it go and how did it feel? Questions, questions…

Anyway take care of yourself and I will log in as soon as I can to catch up with you all. Does anyone know Mr Sainsbury my consultant/oncologist? Just a thought.

Take care,
Ladela xx