Hey everyone
I’m trying very hard to deal with all the aspects of having secondaries but one aspect is driving me insane.
I haven’t got any children, and this year my husband an I were going to start trying.
Is there anyone out there who has had children after their secondary diagnosis? My oncologist has said that I need to stay on tamoxifen for the next few years (as it’s working) and that I understand.
I just want to hear that there may be a glimmer of hope for my husband and I.
Thanks xxx
Last Updated: Friday, 6 October 2006, 12:29 GMT 13:29 UK
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The baby that defied the odds
Evelyn Evans wrote to the BBC News website to say she was pregnant, defeating the medical odds which had lengthened through 18 years of breast cancer. Months later she had a healthy baby girl.
If you have a story idea, send it to the BBC using the form at the bottom of the page.
Evelyn was told she would never conceive
At 10.26am on 21 August 2006, Isobel Jennifer Alexandra Evans was born to the sound of Tchaikovsky at Queen Charlotte’s Hospital in west London.
Her birth flew in the face of medical opinion which had written off her chance of existence.
For nearly 20 years her mother Evelyn, 38, had lived with breast cancer which had spread to her lung and chest wall, and endured treatment which had dramatically diminished her chance of conception.
But the moment Evelyn first held the 8lb-Isobel, the years of treatment, pain and dashed hopes were put out of mind.
“It was amazing. She was born to the Nutcracker Suite and all the staff were brilliant,” she says.
"Nothing could prepare you for it and we were absolutely thrilled.
“It was something that at times I thought I would never experience and I was just looking forward to helping someone grow up in the world, looking forward to the future.”
‘Crushing’
The future wasn’t such an uplifting thought in 1988, when university student Evelyn found a lump which was diagnosed as malignant the following year.
Evelyn credits complementary therapies for increasing her fertility
The hardest thing about having cancer, she says, was the prospect of not being able to have a family, which became all the more likely during the next 14 years of treatment, hope and disappointment.
The cancer returned several times and Evelyn had a double mastectomy in 2001, amid bouts of chemotherapy, which can cause infertility.
“It is much more crushing than anything else, the thought of losing your fertility. Anything else is bearable.”
This issue became all the more urgent when she met her future husband Peter in 2003 and she explored the options they had to have a child.
BREAST CANCER & FERTILITY
Chemotherapy stops ovulation and can cause temporary or permanent infertility
If the cancer is oestrogen-dependent, stopping the ovaries from working is offered as treatment
Radiotherapy or surgery can cause permanent infertility
Drug treatment zoladex stops periods temporarily and tamoxifen can have the same effect after continued use
Source: Breast Cancer Care
Considering freezing her eggs, she was told they could already be damaged and the chances of conception were remote.
Using a donor egg would have meant a long wait and normal fertility drugs could stimulate the cancer, which was oestrogen-linked.
Adoption was not possible because of her illness and last year she felt her biological clock ticking with the onset of an early menopause.
When asked about the possibility of having children, her oncologist said he didn’t know what the risk was of the pregnancy stimulating the cancer, and if the baby suffered any severe deformities then Evelyn would probably miscarriage in the first three months.
Power of herbs
But he agreed to support her through it, although she would not be allowed chemotherapy during the first trimester.
The first scan was a huge relief
“I thought that however long it takes, if you want something badly enough, it may take a long time but I would never, never give up. My instinct told me I was going to be a mother.”
By sheer coincidence, through her work as a freelance writer for a pregnancy magazine, Evelyn came across a clinic in north London called Oeuf, which specialised in complementary health and fertility.
A combination of herbs helped to allay the menopausal symptoms and a course of reflexology tried to stimulate ovulation.
Evelyn credits Oeuf for delivering the hormonal balance she needed and she says it also eased the nasty side-effects of the chemo, such as the nausea and “burning feet”. Six weeks after finishing the course of chemotherapy she was pregnant.
Within six weeks, Isobel was conceived
"It was absolutely awesome. I was very nervous about losing her but I wanted to think positively.
“It happened much faster than anyone expected, faster than many healthy women in their late 30s.”
The first proper scan on 14 February allayed Evelyn’s fears about limb deformities or heart defects. She herself did not need any treatment throughout pregnancy - or any since - but continued the reflexology and massage to “keep her well”.
Now, as she tends to her one-month-old healthy baby girl in the family home in Oxfordshire, she wants other women with cancer to keep up hope that they can have a child.
She says: "Each case has to be judged and you can’t just write off every breast cancer patient that is oestrogen-dependent. I was supposed to be very high risk.
Life is for living, says Evelyn
“Several people said to me I would never have children but that just made me more determined than ever.”
The cancer treatment meant Evelyn was already prepared for the sleepless nights of motherhood - which at least lacked the nausea of chemotherapy - and the uncertain future does not trouble her.
"The cancer is always present but it’s stable and I can’t see the point in sitting down and worrying about what might happen.
“You have to live your life and that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m looking forward to seeing her wedding day.”
This is a positive story but do look into it ver carfully a friend who I met on these boards that accidetly became pregnant only lived for 2 weeks after his birth as the hormones fed her cancer wich caused her cancer to spread like wild fire. Another friend contacted this lady above direct and got lots of info…I cant imagin life with out my little girl, but I find the hardest part of this illness
good luck
love Amber xxx
Thanks for this. I know that there are a lot of risks involved, and I certainly wouldn’t want to put my health at further risk… I just always wanted to be a mum. It’s a shame we haven’t got crystal balls - if I would have known about my cancer I would have got pregnant years ago!! So much for looking after myself and living my life for me…
xxx
Poannie,
Just wanted to say I know exaclty how you feel.
Angee xxxxx
hi there!
i’m new here…just dropping to say hi! i was diagnosed in 2002 at the age of 22 with stage 3B had full mastectomy and total axilliary clearence including 6 cycles of chemo. i’m living in Malaysia so my regiman might differ a bit. in 2005 i had a baby girl and reccurence…now it has spread to my lymph nodes, lungs, liver and bones… i’m undergoing chemo with vinarelbine and ifosfamide an also on zometa…even though the doctors says that my relapse maybe due to my pregnancy…i think that it’s okay…because praise to Allah i have a sweet baby girl who lightens up my life especially the days when i have to undergo chemo…her existence is enough to make me strive harder and not give up…by gods will (insyaallah)…you may still have a chance…