Hi, I am new to this site but just wanted to add my story. I was first diagnosed with BC in 1999, I had surgery, chemo and radio and took it all very badly, life went swimming along and in 2005 my husband was diagnosed with Bowel Cancer, the same year I was diagnosed with BC again and underwent a mastectomy with radio, as my husband came out of hospital I went in, he was then diagnosed with mets in his liver and has since had two operations and is doing very well. As for me I have developed pain in my rib and/or bone underneath the mastectomy scar and I waiting for a CT Scan and a Bone Scan. My consultant said that he does not feel there is nothing to worry about but he can’t see inside me!!!
The point of this posting is this, much speculation is made of what caused BC, obesity, drinking, smoking, not having children, not breastfeeding, breathing fresh air etc. The fact is that nobody knows and the finger just gets pointed and I refuse to beat myself up as to why it happened to me, maybe for a third time, I do know that it has taken me to places I never would have been (emotionally speaking), I have met people I never would have met and no I wouldn’t have missed the experience. I am at a place now where I feel at peace and secure in myself and every day (which is all I have) is a wonder. A big hug to you all on the journey x.
Hello Pauline, good luck with your scans. I thought I ticked all the right boxes not to have breast cancer but here I am…and on the secondaries forum too. I’m glad you feel at peace. Although I too have met some wonderful people I would much rather have given the whole experience a wide berth. Sorry my MSN friends! … 
I hope your scan results are good Pauline but if they’re not this is a very supportive place…x
Hi Pauline - what a lot you have had to cope with since your dx. It must be so hard when both of you are going thru this at the same time. I hope you had a lot of support from friends and family. Good to hear your husband is doing well. Fingers crossed for you that the bone & ct scans show that your fears are unfounded. You have obviously done the right thing in getting the pain checked out. I know all too well how it is to have it come back and bite you!! Having been dx 18 years ago i went 5 years without recurrence then every couple of years something else would occur - so have had 3 separate tumours, one recurrence, 3 major ops, loads of chemos and rads… and then bone secondaries 6 years ago. Like yourself I too would say I got to a place where I felt comfortable where I was at and just learned to live with it and have a feeling of contentment with life in general. (Still would have preferred to give the whole experience a miss though). Hugs back to you xxxxx
dawnhc