secondary breast cancer

Hello, my name is barry, i live in norway, and have just recieved the
sad news my partner has secondary breast cancer, great schock, i feel useless, i have no relatives here i can talk to, any words of advice on?what to expect in the following months? Alternatve treatments,any information would be appreciated.

thanks

barry

Hi Barry

I am sorry to hear your about your partners secondary diagnosis. It is always a dreadful shock. I sometimes think it is worse for partners and relatives. I will never forget the day I received my diagnosis, my partner was more upset than me, I think this is because I had gone numb with shock.

I was diagnosed 2.5 years ago with bone and liver mets. I had a fairly gruelling treatment regime. I had 8 sessions of chemo with herceptin and pamidronate. I am now on herceptin, pamidronate (bone juice) and tamoxifen. My tumour markers were 219 pre treatment they are now 15. Anything less than or equal to 28 is considered normal. Last MRI scan showed NED in liver. I don’t have any symptoms and I work full time. Long may it continue.

There are lots of women on this site with secondary who live full and active lives. The worst part of this disease is the ongoing uncertainty but that does become more bearable. There are lots of drugs and more people are living longer.

Where are your partners secondaries, what type of BC is it and does she know what the treatment plan is going to be.

Alex.

Hi Barry,

Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care discussion forums, you’ve come to the right place for some good support for both yourself and your partner.

While you are waiting for more replies I have put for you below links to some of BCC’s publications that you and your partner might find helpful.

breastcancercare.org.uk/healthcare-professionals/publications/quick-order-list/*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/6/

breastcancercare.org.uk/healthcare-professionals/publications/quick-order-list/*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/153/

And one publication aimed at partners which you may find helpful:

breastcancercare.org.uk/healthcare-professionals/publications/quick-order-list/*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/15/

Take care,
Jo, Facilitator

Hi Barry, I am just Dx with breast cancer with secondary lung mets, Not started treatment yet, but will have chemo and Herceptin. I still have n’t got my head round it yet and my partner is so upset, but I have told him I need him to be strong for me so I can get on with fighting this dreadful disease, please be strong and give her all the support she needs , thats all you can do for the moment , believe me it really helps.My family feel useless at the moment too but when my treatment starts they will be there whatever .
Good Luck to you and your partner hope all goes well.
Jean

Hi and I’m so sorry to hear your partner’s diagnosis. I hope you’ve already found some helpful threads here. There’s a long thread on bone metastases and another on liver metastases…also lots of posts on lung mets and brain mets. We are a very supportive group and between us have a wealth of experiences of living with secondary cancer and dealing with all the various treatments (side effects) and setbacks as well as celebrating good responses and scan results.
Welcome, I’m sorry you have to post here but hope you and your partner might post again and wishing you both good luck with your partner’s treatment. There are lots of very effective treatments out there and some of us are living well and have been here for many years. (I have been living with bone metastases since 2003.)
Belinda.

Thanks belinda, for the advice i hope we have the luck to live through this nightmare, it can not be cured, but without a fight we wont just give in and let it destroy our future.

best regards

jon

Hello all.
my partner has had her first treatment, and is surprised she has not yet had any side effects, is this normal? She was a little scared, on the way to the hospital, but this soon passed, and it went ok,i was with as she went through it.she goes in again next wednesday, for another dose of chemo, so i hope she doesant feel it too much this time. Any advice on what to expect in the next weeks would be appreciated. We talked about maybe finding treatment to help her immune system cope better, is there any ideas out there?

Thanks. jon.

Hi Jon, which chemo is your partner taking? Great news she has had no side effects so far, I hope this continues. I’m on Xeloda (Capecitabine) and have so few side effects I often forget I’m on chemo.
Best Wishes to you both.

Hi Jon, I am sorry that you were feeling a bit isolated but pleased that you have found us here.
I was diagnosed with bone mets 12 years ago, originally having BC 22 years ago. There were no forums like this when I was diagnosed and I felt rather alone as I knew no-one who actually had a spread of BC. The support on here from other ladies undergoing similar problems has been priceless. We are here for you and your partner to hold your hands while you go through this. Best wishes to you and your partner, from Val

Thanks for the nice letter val, we are trying to cope with things that have happened and changed our lives, we are not the only ones i know, but i feel extra alone as i live in norway,and dont have my english family around me, but im coping, it was a horrible experience to hear direct from the onc, the news, of the disease, and i felt numb, and in a dream, that i could not wake up from. Now reality has hit us, and the only thing to do is to think positive,and fight to the end. once again, thanks for the support, i will post again when i have news later on.

jon.

Thanks for your letter Jon. My husband was a great support to me when all this landed in our lap and he still is all these years on. If anything I think it has brought us even closer together and this year we will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. I do not know how I would have coped without him. He is a quiet sort of chap but it was the little things he does for me that is so lovely. making a cup of tea, putting on the electric blanket or running a bath for me. No fuss or show but it is the little things like this that helped me along. Another thing I found helpful was when I had to attend the hospital and speak to my Consultant. I think having someone to go in with you is so important because no matter how hard you try you never take it all in. Also writing down a list as you go along about things you want to ask the specialists at your next appointment. You must feel very isolated but you need not be now because you will have us to support you both through this. Keep in touch when you know more. One day at a time is what I find the best way to do it. Make sure your partner rests as she will surely be very tired just now. It gets easier when you know what you are dealing with. The waiting for tests or results is always the hardest part of it all. take care, love to you both, Val

Hi Barry and also Jon, Just wondered how things are with both of you as it is a few weeks since you last wrote to us. Thanks, Val