I thought I had a torn hip flexor and I thought I was so tired because of the menopause etc. But 5 months ago they diagnosed me with secondary cancer and quickly replaced my hip to help me walk . The Nov scan showed cancer to hip (bones) but the march one showed it was on the move and popping up in liver, spine and maybe lung etc. They mention ‘nodes’. Still not sure how to interpret what they are saying. But know that liver is not a good place for cancer to be.
So yes - I feel like I don’t know If I’ll see this year out. It’s really overwhelming at times. The recent spread has really shaken me up and they are unsure if I’m HER2 positive or negative. (I need a liver biopsy) So you just start thinking - what if the meds I’m on are the wrong ones? What if it’s progressing.
Yes so that’s my moaning! Just want to believe that I have a few years in me - that I’ll see my son pass his 16th…18th - 25th birthday. That is my dream right now.
Have started morning walks, and meditation but sometimes the fear just catches me. Today was one of those days
thank you for listening to my ranting. I am glad I found you all and have already felt better reading some of your stories
xlee
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Hi @leed76
You are not ranting it’s understandable you feel that way you seem a very positive person , this is a good forum especial for secondary cancers , there’s a helpline also I think a forum for someone like me which matches you with people in he same situation . I can imagine the fear your going through but your not alone good luck for the future Xx
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Hi, not a rant, a justifiable worry! If it helps, I was diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago with Mets in liver and bone Mets in spine, ribs and pelvis. Consultant kept telling me that there was ‘a lot of disease in the liver’ . Anyway, after chemo and about 2 years on abemaciclib, fulvestrant and denosumab I am still here. Hasn’t all been plain sailing but have been stable. Awaiting latest scan results so of course mind in overdrive wondering if my luck has run out!
You are not alone and this forum is helpful. Wishing you many years with your family. X
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Thank you. 
it really does help to hear that you are 2.5 years down the line. And yes it’s a rocky path all the way.
It’s like there’s my pre diagnosis brain which just thinks - you’re toast! And then there is my post diagnosis brain telling me this is not an outright death sentence anymore.
Good luck with this scan 
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Hi @leed76
That lovely positive vibe you are giving out gives us all hope for the future glad your not tired and managing to walk , it is not easy as you say keep your mind focused on other things I know it’s hard
We are here for you Xxx
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Very weird indeed: do had a liver biopsy to check on this liver lesion and attempt to check her2 status. And I could tell the doctors were concerned. And three of them kept asking me to hold my breath and breath out and then they said / there is no cancer here. I suggested it might be hiding behind something. They reassured me - no cancer in your liver. So I was sent home. Don’t quite understand it. I’ve only been on one cycle ( 3 weeks of ribociclin) so?! Yes. A mystery. But one that I’m pleased to have. Wishing all a fab weekend. 
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