Hello @annabananna so sorry to hear what you are going through but I am glad you have found us for extra support. This group of ladies is amazing.
I remember when I started at the end of September the anxiety in the build-up to getting started was immense and I know others on here felt the same, so you are not on your own.
We all are dealing with this in different ways. We have all hit low points at various stages along the way and we have dragged ourselves out of them some of them more slowly than at other points but there are also so many positives we have been able to celebrate.
On week 6, I found my tumour had reduced from 23mm to 10mm because of the treatment. Others on here have had equally good results. Others have shared great tips for dealing with side effects that helps ease things for us. Wins like this helps us all get through the tough times. Holding it together for your kids is a huge burden for anyone and I imagine especially as a single Mum you will feel it more acutely.
Do you have close family or friends you can call on to help ease the burden? Also, have you spoken to your healthcare team? I had a call recently from a ‘hollistic breast care worker’ (not sure of the exact title?). But they call everyone going through a diagnosis at my hospital and ask how they are, do they need extra support or any help, are they struggling.
Have you been assigned a breast care nurse? Or a similar care contact? Have a think about tapping into any help offered. You can always stop as you feel stronger.
Please don’t ever feel alone, you are not alone. You don’t need to apologise or worry you are putting a downer on any one. This is exactly why this thread is here. We can all vent together and share our fears with others that understand – you are spot on.
We are all in this together and we are stronger together.
Thinking of you and sending hugs so that you don’t feel alone. 
@story1 so happy for you that your rash is behaving, Can I ask how they know it was paclitaxel and not the Pembro?
I had number 11 today (Pacli + carbo) and the rash feels like it might be starting again this evening.I took a piriton and hoping it will behave. But I am wondering now if it is pacli and not pembro? Good luck tomorrow for EC, really hoping it goes well. xxx
@cridders Hoping the fatigue and total wipe out passes soon. It’s really frustrating but we know you just have to listen to your body. I really hope it is because you had low haemo and this is not normal for you and next time will be much better. Can they do anything for the low haemo?. Thinking of you. xx
@anim4l great to hear from you again. Been thinking about you, so glad you were able to have your second pax. That’s great news. I think a few of us have felt the cumulative impact of the chemo now as we are so far in, hang in there and hopefully you will be able to ride it out quickly. Good to hear you are back on treatment. xx
@emsd2025 so glad you were able to have your MRI. I called my breast cancer nurse to find out when the results were out as the MRI people were very vague – which I understand as they did not want to give false promises, But it gave me an excuse and I had the results within about a week as it went straight to the next MDT. Hope yours is as quick. Thinking of your Mum and hoping all is going to plan for her. Sending hugs. Good luck for your treatment this week xx