Ooh, enjoy your hotel MrsM! It does feel a bit like “coming out” when you brave being seen without a wig! I’ve only been brave enough once when I was going to “moving forward”. Their braveness inspired me! I still felt weird and vulnerable without my wig and wanted to cry!!! It’s so silly as people must have known I was wearing a wig before so why am I so scared they will see me with short hair… so many reasons, all of them scary! I like hiding in my “perfect hair” wig, I hate people looking at me and being the centre of attention, I feel naked without my wig!!!
Enough of that. I really want to find the courage to leave to wig on its stand soon.
Hope you feel empowered by your wig free break MrsM!
Fairydust, hope you can find a moving forward course, or at least some free counselling sessions, in your area. It really is what we need after our last few months immersed in treatments we had no control over. We won’t know what to do with ourselves! We have changed physically and mentally - who knew we were this strong!!
Fairydust- that sounds awful! Big hugs to you. It hurts when a friend betrays your trust. You will be better in the long run without her. She has treated you badly Don’t lose your faith though…there are some lovely people out there … it’s just a case of finding them! Xxx
Fairy it really hirts and shocks when some9ne does this! It is her problem though and not yours! It will take a while but you will move on. Sending you a hug xc
What is it that makes leg and armpit hair so robust!!!
I’ve just bought some hair dye off “live better with” website. Going for the super short platinum pixie cut … apparently it’s all the fashion in Hollywood! Not sure what the locals will make of it though!
Well, I aimed for platinum hair…but only achieved gold. Now I look even worse!! From a distance I even look bald again. At least when we had no hair there was no such thing as a bad hair day
Jo - enjoy your hols! Hot tub and a sea view. What more could you ask for. Great that you will manage to get a way before your op. How do you feel about it? Do they do keyhole surgery?
I started tamoxifen today. Still in the chemopause so don’t know if my night sweats will get worse now or just stay the same. I wake 3-10 times a night to throw the covers off as I’m too hot. Hoping it doesn’t make me crave even more chocolate…I bought some 100% cocoa dark chocolate to try to make me want less but even the really bitter taste doesn’t put me off! Ha ha.
Fairy - wish I could fly my cat over to you for a night. He is desperate to sit on my knee but I really just need my personal space to throw on and off my dressing gown as my temperature fluctuates.
Gosh, 70 is so young. Hope the funeral was a good chance to say your goodbyes and share some happy memories as well as your grief. Sending love to you and your family xxx
Mrs M - love the grandcats! Very beautiful. You did well braving the dinner without your wig. How long is your hair now? Mine is about 1.5 cm. I have managed to embrace the golden look. It’s a bit less brassy after a couple of washes and actually looks like I’m trying to look funky and different…like my hair style might have been a crazy choice rather than an after effect of chemo!
Glad your daughters are home again and you are getting to spend time with them before they head off for more adventures.
Cxxx
Hi All, 9 weeks from finishing chemo, 5 weeks since masectomy, due my 6th Herceptin tomorrow (3rd injection) and i am shattered. I feel more tired than i have all through treatment. I have an aching back and heavy legs and still have a sore nose and split thumbs!!
I am up and about every morning and getting on with everything but just finding the tiredness diff8cult and unexpected!
Thanks Cathy. It helps to onow its not j7st me although i dont wamt you to be hav8ng those things either!! It must be the herceptin!!
Ibthink we will have ups and downs and i suppose
thats to be expected. Just wishing to be normal!!
Hows your new boob doing? Mine is great but had to have 120mls of fluid drained yesterday and got antibiotics for 7 days as a precaution. I wasnt even aware of fluid build up but now its gone it feels better. Hope yours is good xx
Ali - glad your boob is doing ok and the fluid has been drained successfully. I had a wide lump excision and node clearance plus second op to get better margins. I have managed to keep my boob, though it does have a big chunk out the side missing! I had fluid that needed to be drained for about 5 weeks, then it magically started to heal and contract down.
Hope the antibiotics are kind to your guts and the fluid stays away,
Cx
Glad you had a fab week in Cornwall, jo.
I never managed to get my tear duct flushes as I was snowed in when I was meant to be going to my ophthalmology appointment! The next free appointment they had was in May. My left eye is still watery so I will get it checked out then. Mine is worse in cold windy weather but ok indoors now.
Impressed with your late night! I rarely make it past 10pm. We’ve been up north for Easter - haven’t had too much chocolate but have been looked after by my mum so lots of cheese and biscuits, homemade fruit loaf and breads. Oops. Back to my healthy diet at home from today! Dying for a green smoothie!!!
I have my radiotherapy planning appointment this afternoon. Off I go again. Think I have 15 plus 5 boosters planned.
Hi Jow,.10 weeks from end of chemo and 6 weeks after masectomy and i seem to have turned a corner with fatigue and lethargy. I am trying to be more active and walking a lotmore so i think that is helping. This is only 8n the last 2 week though as i was feeling shattered before xx
Hi everyone,
I am still waiting for radiotherapy! Turned up for my planning appointment last week only to find that the radiotherapy team(and my oncologist!!!) had no idea what the plan was!!! They kept asking me how many sessions and where they were targeting - I relayed what the surgeon had told me but in the end they decided to go away, read my notes, and come up with a plan. Going back to try again on Tuesday. Hmmmm
I did broach the subject of survival statistics. They said nhs predict was the most accurate for stats, but there was no point really. If there was a 25% chance of recurrence I just had to make sure I was in the 75% that survive! True enough.
How did your chat go, MrsM? How do you feel being discharged?
Jo, good luck with the surgery on 17th. Glad you got the iv zometa approved. Hope the clinical trial goes well.
Ali - have you had rads yet?
I have good days where I feel almost normal and bad days with fatigue and achey legs. Think I’m improving still …
Fairy re the add asprin trial i wanted to do it being Tn was really disappointed to be turned down due to the problems with my stomach (having endoscopy may 1st) i will see what that out is and maybe try again, apparently you shouldn’t take asprin if you suffer stomach problems, they do sell Gastro resistant one so I might end up taking them anyway!
The stats thing is another hard thing to deal with i think especially as we are all individuals i was not too happy with them i was given over 50% in my favour for 3 years with no recurrence, then it starts to improve after that, apparently after 5 years my risk of reoccurring disease drops significantly i don’t know about survival rates i wasn’t told but my onc was quite clear about different recurrences in breast same knind of treatments as before anywhere else no longer curative treatment
well stuff that I have closed my ears to stats percentages etc i will just do everything i can to improve my chances inc some lifestyle changes diet etc and live in hope instead of constantly living in fear which i have done quite a lot and be great to be alive and well as i am also coming very close to diagnosis which although was officially 26th i see it as this Friday 13th day of biopsy when i just knew and was being told to prepare for bc results and really i have been through such a lot in a year but how far i have come also made it to the other side so to speak
Its good to see you all getting on well after everything take care ladies x
Cathy i am not having radiotherspy as I had it lsst year after my DCIS and lumpectomy so i cant have it again. As i have had the masectomy and there is no node involvement i dont think i need it anyway x
I am continujng with Herceptin every 3 weeks and started letrozole last week. On Saturday i did my 2nd park run - mostly walking - and by saturday night my knees started paining. I thought it was the walk but now 3 days later they are worse and i am walking like an old person so i am wondering of its the Letrozole. Has anyone else experienced this?
Xx
Hi everyone,
Well done Mrs M on losing 10kg!!! Wow. That was quick.
My radiotherapy starts on Wednesday so finally moving into the last phase of intense treatment. Having 15 boob and neck, and 5 boosters. I’m actually looking forward to going back to work and “normality” now.
Hi, sorry your op didn’t go ahead. It’s always frustrating when you get a delay but try to see this as a bit of bonus recovery time. Relax and rest, enjoy the sun, the op will come round soon enough.
Fairy dust - hope you are doing ok. How are you feeling? How are your energy levels now?
My first rads went well. I was a bit emotional and stressed as I was back at my chemo hospital and felt like a cancer patient again. I tried hard, and managed, not to cry! Bit pathetic of me considering the treatment was so easy in comparison to chemo and so painless!!!
Good news - I’m loving my hair now! It’s about 3cm long and dyed platinum blond on top, and had my first haircut - had the sides shaved!!! Feel like Pink!!! Googled super short pixi cuts for inspiration. So good in the hot weather and so little work…Wash and go! Still using the lush red hair soap. Hoping you all come to love your super pixi cuts too ?
Hi all,
Just popped on as I’m in a bit of a panic. Found 3 enlarged lymph nodes on the right back of my neck. The bc was on the left side but it’s still sent me into a panic. I found the first one 2 days ago(pea sized) and my surgeon said he wanted to see me back in a month to check it’s gone back down…and not to touch it! Now I’ve found two more further down my neck. A month feels a long time to worry like this …
Sorry to hear you are struggling with joint pain on the letrozole. This does often feel like an uphill struggle. I’ve heard that different brands of drugs can give different side effects? Might be worth an ask on the hormonal treatment page? Hope the job interview went well. Let’s hope this time next year we all feel like we are at the top of the mountain sipping limoncello and the long slog uphill is in the past. It is an emotional time and trying not to think of cancer with every ache, lump and dizzy spell I’m sure will get easier with time as well.
Thanks for the hand holding
Jo,
Hairdye seems a much better topic to talk about. I got mine from livebetterwith website as I was sure it was ok to use after treatment. I used to use naturtint and I think I will go back to it next time.
I’ve just had an echocardiogram and herceptin check up. Ended up crying because she asked me how I was! Oops. She had a feel of the lymph nodes and doesn’t seem overly worried so I guess time will tell.
I think the treatment and emotional rollercoaster does take its toll. Might try some counselling so I can offload without burdening my family and friends!
Don’t lose your faith though…there are some lovely people out there … it’s just a case of finding them! Xxx