Hi Craftyj those baubles are beautiful!
How is everyone doing mentally? I think until now I’ve been in survival, but yesterday I had a little time to myself and I just felt very down and couldn’t shake the what if thoughts, what if the treatment doesn’t work etc etc. Really hard to shake off. I’m also having a PICC line inserted this afternoon. I’m not dreading the procedure but I am dreading having it and feeling ‘tethered’.
Anyway, hugs to you all
Xxx
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Sorry to hear you are having to rest up. Love the baubles though! I’ve been keeping busy making Christmas cards. I find it relaxing and therapeutic xxx
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All my best and hopefully soon you will be better and treatment will go well.The bobbles looks so nine, well done to you,
I am baking and sharing around, I used to bake for all occasions in the pass, now I am baking again, is taking me lots of time but is something I enjoyed and relaxed me, I am doing also gardening but not daily.
Big 
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Beautiful baubles!!!
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I can’t stand eggs on treatment!!! They’ve been banned in my house and all forms unless it’s for pancakes or baking 
I cannot stand the smell and just the thought of it makes me sick!! I used to like them!! I can’t have mayonnaise and have switched over to ketchup which I use to dislike greatly!!
Good you found something that worked for you 
Came back from treatment today and mum is trying to cook. She’s not the best and having to follow instructions in English which I translated for her, I might not have dinner till late 
I have had to work on my job interview. Got a presentation to work on, on your observations of DEI in Europe and two others topics, 15 min not long!!. God the last thing I need right now but if no job no private healthcare, no income… Am covering maternity till January 24 then nothing after that which is scary. Wish me luck 
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Today I should do the scan and markers place for radiotherapy, not happened, because they realise is not safe to start radiotherapy when I am in treatment for lungs pneumonitis, even I explained to them from the beginning all this, they apologized for put me to travel today, and my scan will be on 12 December, soo I will have time to treat my lungs and be ready for radio
My cough is improving, and nights I have better sleep with no coughing, steroids for another 20 days. Hopefully I will be better for next step, and I am really happy with the delay, that I have time to recover my body and my breathing.
No more chemotherapy needs, but I am here for support and hugs, and I will continue to read your message and probably we will start in the same time the radiotherapy.
Big hug to everyone and take care.
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@Craftyj the baubles are absolutely beautiful! You’re very talented. I’m so sorry your hands and feet have been impacted, am thinking of you. How many rounds have you got left? Are you on docetaxel? I’ve been getting into baking (which is daft as my taste is on the blink so I’m not sure if any of it tastes ok! ). I’m making a super complicated ( for me) Black Forest gateaux as I’ve invited some friends round for tea tomorrow. Wish me luck. xxx
@pinklilli3s best of luck with the job interview. You’re brave and brilliant going for it. 
I can see it must be preoccupying if your contract ends soon. Got my fingers crossed for you.
@daffodil1 can completely relate about struggling psychologically at the mo. Up til now I’ve been good at keeping busy and the darker thoughts at bay but they are creeping in. Yesterday was the worst as it just never seemed to get light in Manchester, so grey and gloomy. This stage of treatment feels endless, well over the ‘novelty’ (that’s not right phrase) but more to go then other hurdles. It occurred to me today than aside from nice stuff w kids I’ve not really made any big positive memories recently, treatment has clipped my wings. Been running on adrenaline but can’t do that forever. It’s weird being unsure what your future holds. Xxxx
@Camy_Radika so sorry your radiotherapy has been delayed. I hope it goes easy on you xxxxx
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@Craftyj glad you have a diagnosis and have been reassured the symptoms will go after the treatment. The baubles look great. You have been busy.
@daffodil1 I hope the picc line went well. I have had mine for about six weeks now and find it a right pain in the proverbial. The only upside is it does make chemo day and blood tests faster. Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit low. Don’t think too far ahead. Plenty of time for that once the treatment is done. For now just tick off those days. I practice gratitudes which is good to help remind you no matter what is happening there are things to be grateful for. Maybe give it a try and see if it works for you.
@pinklilli3s good luck with your presentation and interview. Job hunting and chemo. You are super-woman. I hope it goes well.
@Camy_Radika Good news the cough is improving. You are leading the charge towards radiotherapy. Hopefully you’ll be able to tell us all that is it walk in the park compared to the chemo. Fingers crossed.
Love to all. I hope everyone has as good a week as possible. I am back working this week until next Thursday when I go again for round 4. Seems to come around faster every time.
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Weirdly I’ve been off eggs a bit too while on EC, as well as tea/coffee but been managing a cuppa now and again this week now I’m on Pacli! I’m counting down the weeks until I’m allowed poached eggs again, currently wondering how strict the cheese rules are around Christmas… surely a little bit of Brie wouldn’t hurt?!
Re: the job application, What industry are you in? If you need any info on DEI from an international education perspective, let me know. Constantly dealing with the challenges of being expected to replicate the American approach in a European environment and trying to explain why it’s not handled in the same way! Good luck either way, all these things have a tendency of cropping up at once don’t they! Xx
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Thank you ladies! I feel I have two mountains to climb the cancer one and the job one. Sometimes I feel like not to bother (a bit like cancer and chemo) and then I motivate myself to do a "little bit more "
Did anyone get any restrictions on food? I didn’t 
i just gone off lots of food I loved before. I’ve been craving stinky camembert but being lactose intolerant it’s not like I could indulge now. W lactose pills am normally alright but now stomach is so sore and inflamed not good!
@plum1 feel free to share your key thoughts if you like. On that questions, “your observations on DEI in Europe” I’ve narrowed it down to 4 key points being, DEI and data/ESG, EU Disability index, Equal gender rights (gender pay equity, parental rights), expectation at onboarding of DEI quality training, events, and development.
I work in private sector for Tech Japanese company. (Boring stuff every one!!)
Sounds like we’re making some sort of progress one way or another. @annemanc agreed feel chemo clip my wings on social events but am trying om Sunday to do a small thing w my partner even if it’s just getting a coffee and nibbles somewhere
Am not sure am looking forward to the Christmas evening and so on. Would be nice to dress up but certainly don’t want the whole evening talking about cancer so rather stay home!! Especially now my scalp is really itchy, am shading a lot, I wouldn’t know how to style my hair and not keen on getting a wig. The one I’ve seen are really pricey £500 w cut and styling from the place recommended by the hospital. Am not selling a kidney thanks 
Big hugs everyone
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Hi frazzled, thanks for your message, good idea to practice gratitudes, will try that. Is anyone else having negative thoughts and if so how to turn them around and have positive thoughts about treatment? Frazzled, in which way has thc picc line been a pain for you? The placement was not as bad as I thought thankfully…
Hi Annemanc, interesting those thoughts are creeping in for you too…I agree the dark days don’t help. You’re right about adrenaline keeping us going too.
Cami, sorry to hear your radiotherapy is delayed too. But very glad to hear that cough is finally resolving and allowing you some rest.
I’ve been baking lately too and last night made rice pudding. So easy! But ate far too much of it. I’ve put on about half a stone while on paclixatel but at least there are reserves for EC!
Hugs to you all
xxx
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Rice pudding is a great idea @daffodil1 I’m going to have a go at making that!
One thing that’s helped me psychologically is using friends and family as a source of distraction and comfort. Not necessarily to share my worries with them, but to hear what they are up to and to try to really focus on that. Everything from my little girl’s OTT plans for her birthday party to connecting w old mates on WhatsApp and talking about fun times in the past. As the days get darker I’m trying to think of my friends as human SAD lights (those seasonal affective disorder lights you can order from Amazon!) shining light and love to see me through, reminding me the world is still turning. It’s a bit daft but is helping. Xxxx
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Love the idea of friends as human lights annemanc. That’s so lovely.
I read something Dr Liz ORiordan recommend when she was going through chemo . And it was to have a jar of joy. When something nice happened on her good days she would write it on a post it note and put it in her jar. Then when she was having a bad day she would lift one out and it would help her to feel better.
I can recommend doing something crafty, I’m making Christmas cards just now. They aren’t perfect but everyone loves handmade right? And it’s very soothing . Could use paint or maybe cut things out and stick them on.
Also getting a walk each day helps if possible , even just 20 minutes!
Hope I’m ok posting in this group - I’m in the oct group but following both ha. We are going through the same thing and it’s so helpful feeling we are in it together xxx
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I love the idea of a jar of joy! For me I’ve been doing walks w friends most days and documenting them on FB/insta after w a little photo and a mini love letter to the friend I’ve been walking with. Then on bad days I can re-read them. It started as the 100 day walking challenge and spiralled from there to the point where people I worked w years ago are contacting me and suggesting walks (think I’ve done maybe 30 or 40 w different people so far). I’ve never been a big social media person before but it’s def helping me. X
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Hi Annemanc, what lovely ideas, I’m with you on the walking front, getting out helps so much even if for just a short walk. Fab that seeing lots of different friends is helping you a lot too. I’m finding it helps to see family and very close friends but find anything else a little overwhelming. It’s great we are all finding our own ways to get though this.
Copperycat, love the idea of handmade Christmas cards too. I’ve just started my first ever little cross stitch and I’m really enjoying it.
xxxx
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You can do it @pinklilli3s it must be so hard not knowing whether you have a job after January.
Sending positive thoughts
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@Camy_Radika so pleased the cough is improving. Not much fun to travel to appointment to be told it can’t go ahead.
I had my radiotherapy ct scan planning on Wednesday, had 4 people (including two men looking at my boobies for 45 minutes). I’m now a tattooed lady 3 dots, I’ve never wanted any! Did breath hold as I need both boobies treated. Managed 30 seconds being able to add and real ease breath on request. They said I did well and I asked if I got a sticker (worked in school too long). They said the6 should get some!
@Craftyj nice baubles.
@annemanc you did so well to take your kids to a birthday party. The most I manage is a quick trip to do food shopping on one of my weekly good days. I’m hoping the boost of Vitamin D will give me more energy.
Had 9/12 Paclitaxel yesterday in the afternoon, terrible sleep with steroids. Did lots of jobs this morning and early afternoon. Baked raspberry and lemon curd muffins. Prepped for a roast dinner. By 4pm it started to hit, normally it’s just after lunch if I have the chemo in the morning. I think I’ll be in bed very early tonight. So worried about temperature after the last couple of weeks but it’s ok. Funny how these things linger in the back of your mind.
Thinking of you all. You are all doing fantastic. We are individually and our treatment plans differ and so does our body responses. It’s so hard not to compare but I really think we must do our own journey and be supported by others.
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Ah dear, you are so funny , I am happy you managed with all around yours boobies:smiling_face:
For how long you had to keep your breath? Is the tatoo painful, what else they toldyou? Did they recommend a cream after radiotherapy?
I am happy you are nearly at the end with paclitaxel, for me was to bad this infusion, but if you can do small things around family is so good for us, take care with your health 
.
Big hug
All my best to all the girls here on forum.
Have a lovely weekend 
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