@frazzledmcsazza absolutely, the accumulative effect has now gotten to me. The MRI before Christmas revealed the cancer shrunk. They couldnât see it. I understand they need to do wide excision and take more than the actual 2.1cm around, out the dye and see which sentinel lymph nodes it goes to remove them. Iâve had 11 cycles last year, 2 nearly killed me 
, now EC this year, planned 4, done 2, which until recently was only 3. I do plan to carry on w immunotherapy which will protect me, which again they didnât do until 2/3 y ago. If it turns out thatâs what is also diminishing me, then Iâll review w oncologist. Am definitely trying to cling on to those future moments and I feel a huge dread been lifted off my chest. The taste bugs and nausea is the worse right w not sleeping, I probably woke up 18 times last night. Need to keep an eye on my peeing, EC seems o overwork my kidneys and I go every hour or so. Iâve drinking a lot too to get rid of this drug literally not gone anywhere without my bottle of water! Iâll keep an eye on the temperature. Iâve also visualise LD the cancer being wrapped in a nice little tight plastic cling film not spreading anywhere and I keep repeating to myself thatâs itâs locked twisted away there! Thank you for the support my dear.
Sounds we might be having the operation round the same time. Also sounds it might mean another op if they find cancer in sentinel lymph nodes, I wonder how many weekâs apart theyâll go back for auxiliary:/
Itâs great that you can eat what you want thatâs a win! Are your taste buds back to normal now after chemo? Been told to use Difflam 6 to 8 times a day to try to keep on top of it.
@naughty_boob MRI couldnât pick up the cancer before Christmas, it was all gone. So am going on the basis that w EC started in January, these additional 2 sessions+ immunotherapy going forward I will be fine. They said the right breast was "quiescent and I had an excellent response to neo adjuvant chemotherapy " 
I do wonder if Breast consultant will want to do another CT or MRI/exam.
With regards to your anxiety around germs I totally get it. I was a bit overwhelmed at the beginning. To put your mind at rest, I still mask in public places or confined spaces like trains or planes, I treat it like COVID, post reopening. So at the theatre once I sat down, I removed my mask (rightly or wrongly) I only had someone sat on my left not my right and if anyone would start coughing around me Iâd whip my mask out (w given them a free look of disapproval ). Do talk to the counsellor, however am confident that at times go on, youâll feel less worried about it cause weâll get stronger by default anyway. What also helped me, was to understand my blood tests, neutrophils and all that. It made me feel have some control so then, I knew if it was good going before chemo, there is only such much chemo could take away from me. Psychology it helped!
Iâve not had to go to the office and I donât have to that right now. Horse riding is outside and so is dog /walking. I see absolutely nothing wrong in masking in the shops and Iâve got some gel in my car and in me. Totally normal for me, especially on the tube in London! I be always done the gel pre COVID anyway. When I meet new dog owners, I tell them about my cancer, and youâd be surprised how many people either gone through it themselves or their families so they understand about being immunosuppressed and so far Iâve not met w someone who was evidently ill or purposely tried to âinfectâ me out of ignorance 
I decided last I wonât watch the news. You canât escape it but I purposely switch channels. It helps. Nothing good comes out of it anyway and I canât change the corrupt government!!!
You did make laugh about these options. That would be me all over! I tell you something that will cheer you up. Iâve ordered some probiotics, paid for next day delivery to make sure Iâve got it in time. The irony is, Iâve never been there in the afternoon (letâs glide over that now post is delivered in afternoon grrrrr) so Iâve had 7 attempted redeliveries. SEVEN. None of them which got delivered, after even begging and leaving a note on the door to say PLS leave the parcel. Iâve gone on the app and told them to leave by porch. Nothing. I spoke to not usual post man who didnât care to help today. The jokes on me for being organised. 42 min on hold w post office this evening , not being able to go through. Iâve bought a different unknown brand from pharmacy today and bought my usual brand one -again- to be delivered normal delivery in 4 to 10 days from optibac, not next day am not going through that if it means signed for 
. Hoping that between now and end of this week the parcel 1 will turn up at my local post office eventually Friday 
I think Iâve finally earned the option to tick that box on their app (wasnât there before! Or chemo brain, I doubt) . Itâs ridiculous 
!! Letâs hope vag thrush doesnât come back now cause Iâd be well pissed off as Iâd manage to stay on top w Optibac!
any of you had that feeling?!
I wonder how many others have read it incorrectly!
pinklilli, youâve been so busy doing so much your amazing do you know that 
your kick ass 
