sex after cancer

Hi ladies,i wanted to pick your brains on the ‘sex’ subject. i want to resume activities in the bedroom but as i’m now going through the menopause i find sex very painful. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated


There are several products out there to help but please check with your doctor as to whether you can use them or not. If your cancer was hormone positive it’s not a good idea to use anything with oestrogen in it. Two which I know you can definately use are Replens and Sylk, both of which you can get on perscription. Some people find they’re great but others not so great. It all depends on what works for you. Personally I prefer sylk but I still haven’t quite got there yet lol! I think there is also something called Yes but I don’t know anything about it but I’m sure someone will come on soon who can give you more information.

Hope this helps.

Love lbx157

Hi Peardrops and welcome to the BCC forums

In addition to the support and information here I am posting a link to the BCC publication ‘Sexuality, intimacy and breast cancer’ which you may find helpful to read:

Best wishes

Hi Peardrops, I was given some free samples of Yes in my breast care clinic. I would imagine it is much the same as repllens etc. I say imagine as I put them on the bedside cabinet and my dog decided to eat them. He only left the wrappers and didn’t suffer any side effects so thankfully it didn’t seem to have any chemical nasties in it. I’ve just had a book called Intimacy after breast cancer by Gina Maisano - it’s American but it does cover the topic of menopausal dryness .

I have Vagifem.
I was prescribed it by my oncologist.
My tumour was hormone +, but i can’t stand the dryness any longer!

It’s not just the physical stuff, I find the inside of my head doesn’t let me enjoy physical intimacy the way I used to. I can be gently relaxing and quite content but when any “activity” happens, my head is thinking of cancer and other nasties and the changes in my body and so on, so I get so much less enjoyment that previously.

There’s also a thread about this that has been going for a few months, I’ll see if I can find it and bump it up - ends in “and all that jazz…”

Hi…my husband and i did ‘it’ for the first time last week after my mastectomy…we had a bottle of bubbly (originally bought for new year but not drunk as I was diagnosed around then)…we both drank a glass down in one first! I’m still really self conscious about how i look and that is still difficult for me so I wore a camisole top.I am menopausal too so we use Durex lube and i like the one called Tingle.

Hi, my first post on here. I had my cancer when I was 29 and then again 3 years later, so had double mastectomy and reconstructive on both sides and had ovaries removed. I had a testosterone implant to boost my libido a few years after, but my body rejected it so have had nothing since

To cut a long story short I am finding now that I feel completely flat. No sexual feelings at all in fact all my emotions seem to be flat, I just feel like I am existing not living. Doctor has said that the only option I have is testosterone implant as my cancer was oestrogen receptive. I cannot believe that in the past 10 years nothing else is available to me. He is said that he will do some research for me but just wondered if anyone else had come across anything. Thanks

What I’ve found is that you are pretty much on your own once you are confirmed as post menopausal. When I speak to the woman GP at my surgery she just says things like “get your husband to take you to a hotel for the weekend” and it makes me feel really stupid that I bothered going to see her. I’ve also had 2 gynaecologists who said to me “of course you have no libido, what do you expect as you are now post menopausal”. I am not kidding about this, it didn’t inspire confidence in the medical profession.

the thread you’re looking for is:

Chemo,tamoxifen,sleep,sex and all that jazz

Not sure how to link it

Gill x

Hi Gill

Here’s the link to the thread you mentioned;

Best wishes

I had my treatment 6 years ago aged 43, and the chemo put me straight into the menopause. We had a great sex life before, but now its so painful and sore, doesn’t matter what I use.

The only thing that helped me was Vagifem, but as my cancer was hormone positive, I could only have it in the short term. We have just had to adjust to a lot less sex and yes, it is really annoying on top of everthing else you have to go through, and no one tells you about this aspect! And its not something you can talk openly about, when people ask you how you are, think they would be a bit shocked if you really told them LOL xx

Hope others manage to manage, if you know what I mean?

Deborah xx

i used to jump on my hubby when he got in to bed and now i have no interest in sex. i would like to but just can’t be bothered, i don’t have the energy. i once took pro plus caffine tabs and drank red bull and it had no effect.

but, a few month after chemo i had a hysterectomy and i still wanted to jump on my hubby but sex was very sore, it felt as though i’ve been sewn up too much if you know what i mean! I suppose it’s like being a virgin again. then i was put on exemestane and i don’t know if thats what the problem is.