3 years after DCIS and full mastectomy my Mum (aged 61) has just been diagnosed with secondaries in her brain, bone and lungs. She made a full recovery after her initial dx in 2005 and didn’t require any further treatment after her mastectomy.
After 6 months of unbearable pain in her knee and various operations and tests, cancer was finally discovered in her bone. This was the first hit which was a real shock, but non of us expected what was to come next. She had further tests and scans and in the space of one week we have found out she also has secondaries in her brain (quite severe) and lungs. She is due to start immediate radiotherapy on her brain and knee but as she is diabetic she is having to be admitted while she undergoes treatment.
I am absolutely devastated for my poor Mum. She is such a trooper and dealt fantastically with her first round of BC. She then suffered with the loss of her 2 closest friends also to cancer and within the space of 2 years. I just can’t believe it’s now happening to her.
I am so shocked and scared. I don’t really know how to feel or how much longer I have left with my Mum. I would really like to hear from anyone who is experiencing the same thing, either as close family member or living with similar secondaries yourself. I need some hope!!
Also if anyone else is diabetic (insulin dependant) I’d be interested to know how treatment has effected you and whether it has caused any complications.
I’m so sorry to hear this news and clearly you are devastated.
Please know that everyone on this forum will support you, and your Mum, at this awful time.
Also, please don’t hesitate to use the BCC Help Lines as they are wonderfully supportive if you want to speak to someone who has experience and knowledge and if you just want to sound off.
Am really sorry to hear about your poor mum, wot a lot to have to find out so quickly and take in, let alone get your heads around. Sorry, but cannot really help with any advice, but am sure lots of the ladies on here will give u advice and information, or as Dahlia says, ring the helpline.
Sending lots of love to your mum, you and the rest of your family.
Love
Dawn
xx
I am so upset and sorry to hear of your mum’s predicament and send big hugs to both of you.
I can’t help either but I know that when I was having my radiotherapy recently there was a man who was having radiotherapy for a brain tumour. He started out as an out-patient but was then hospitalised as he developed insulin-dependent diabetes during his treatment and was actually very poorly. The family were told that it was a temporary development as a result of being put onto steroids.
Maybe if someone is already diabetic they need to have closer monitoring of blood sugar levels if they are having rads to the brain area?
Hi SunnyBear
I am so sorry to hear that your mum has secondaries and I know what a shock it is for her and all the close family. It takes time to get your head around it some of us cope better than others but we all have to find a way that is best for us. We have a few ladies on here coping with brain mets and I am sure they will be along to offer help I cant remember anyone posting that they are diabetic nut I am sure if they are out there they will also be along soon.
It is bad enough dealing with this horrid disease but once a treatment plan is under way it does give us hope. The one thing I find the hardest is witnessing the pain I am putting my daughters and husband through for us it has been 41/2 with bone and liver mets so we have had those conversations that are not easy and shed a million tears.
Take care.
Thank you all for your kind words. It really helps to know how much support is out there and I am so glad that I have found this forum. I only wish that my Mum wasn’t such a technaphobe and would come and use it herself so she could get to know all you courageous ladies and find some hope and strength from you.
I think its so hard for us as a family as we feel so helpless. We are also still a bit confused at the moment (we only found out the worst yesterday) as to why this has happened and what is going to happen next. We know she is due to have radiotherapy on her brain and knee followed by chemo but that is all I’ve been told. All a bit numb at the moment as we don’t really know what we are in for. I really wish I could be at the appointments too so I don’t have to ask so many questions to my poor Dad who gets so upset by it all and Mum is just too confused (partly due to her brain mets) to know what is going on really. Bless her, she has to write everything down so she can remember what to tell people when they call up to find out how she is!
Thank you again, I am sure I will be making many more posts on here over the next few months and hope I can support ladies as much as they are helping me.
dont know if you remember me from Tuesday. I’m the one with my mum who has 2 brain tumours removed and was told last week the cancer has spread within th chest (we dont know where as yet) she gets the results from the scans she had yesterday on the 5/12/2008, i cant believe how long it takes, but my mum did say she is in no hurray to know.
I am so sorry to hear your news, and my heart genuinly goes out to you, your mum and family. x
Your mum is lucky to have you and as hard as at it, you need to remain positive. i dont know your living circumstances, mine are i’m married and have a daughter, when i with my mum we joke and have a laugh, when i get home i crumble, majority of the time i cry myself to sleep, what i mean by this i can go home and deal with my fears and upset there, like you i feel helpless, i cant stop the pain she is going through, i cant even imagine how she is feeling, but no matter how much i’m hurting i try my up most not to let my mum see me like this, the last thing she needs is me being like that, not that she would mind, but she has enough to deal with.
If there is anything i can do or say, even if its a question you want answering, please feel free to contact me, this is something i have been going through for the past 16 months.
Take care Sunnybear, send my best wishes to your mum xxxxxxx
Yes I remember you. I was wondering how you were getting on. How you and your Mum doing?
I am sorry that you have to wait so long for the results. That is the worst part when you feel in limbo and are constantly worrying about the ‘what ifs’ and fearing the worst. From what I have experienced so far the not knowing has been the hardest. SInce Mum’s diagnosis last week we have been able to move forward and I now know what I have to deal with. It’s been easier than I expected. I suppose because nothing much has happened yet. I expect it will get much harder and more upsetting once she starts her treatment and it all really hits home. We just want to get going with things now. It seems to take so long to sort everything out.
I currently live in London and my Mum in Cheshire, so I feel so far away, however at the end of next week I am moving back to live with my Mum and Dad for a while. This was planned before Mum’s illness so I am just pleased it is happening now so I can be there to look after and support her and Dad. I am doing my very best to be strong for them and yesterday I wrote my Mum a letter telling her how much I love her and that I’ll always be here for her. I’m not married but I have a long term boyfriend who I can let my feelings out to. I also have a sister too and it’s her I tend to talk to about it as we are both going through the same thing.
Mum has just started on steroids yesterday and is due to start whole brain radiotherapy and on her knee on Monday. I just hope she feels better soon as she couldn’t be much lower at the moment.
I really wish you so much luck for your Mum’s results. I hope they are the best they can possibly be and I hope they mean that you too can start the process again to get her better.
Best wishes and stay strong whatever the outcome Xxxxx
I so desperately want freeze time so that mum will no longer get sicker, to keep her safe. I can not bear the thought that i an going to wake up soon and no she will no longer be here.
I feel so helpless, this cancer is out of control and i can not do a thing.
I am sorry i had not planned to comment i was going through this website to find out if i had missed something, maybe a new drug that the consultant must have missed. Instead i have found so many women with similar thoughts. One positive thing out of all this is how strong women are. X
If you feel it would help to talk things through with someone in confidence, please do call our helpline, it’s open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2 on 0808 800 6000. Our helpline staff can provide support and a ‘listening ear’ to you in this difficult time.
I was sorry to read your message. It made me sad as I completely understand how you feel. The most frustrating part is not being able to do a damn thing to help. Our Mum’s are so special to us and thought of having to live a life without them is just unbearable. I am constantly thinking, are they doing enough for her, are we missing something she could be having, or have them missed something? It makes me want to scream, but we have to believe that they are in the best hands.
I think this post has become more for the ‘friends and family’ forum, so if you want to PM me or if you feel you need to talk to someone who is going through the same thing, please do so. I don’t know what your own circumstances are, or your Mum’s, but I’m sure our feelings are the same. I am 30, not married, no kids, so my Mum really is my best friend and the person I always turn to.
Take care and my thoughts are with you and everyone else who is suffering with this horrible disease.
Taken a while to reply as a lot has changed over the last few weeks. We had the bad news last week that the hospital can do no more for mum and that she probably has only six weeks left.
Her history is a very typical one with breast cancer 1997, bone cancer 2006 and now liver this month. Strange thing (and good thing) this last few days she has been feeling very well.
My history - 37 married two kids 8 & 4. Telling my boys worries me, they are so close to their grandma, i fear how they will cope.
Problem is - i don’t think we are ever ready to loose our mums. Whatever age we are we will always need them. This episode in my life has made me aware how fragile life is. None of us know what is round the corner, we need to appreciate each day as it comes.