good news for me I had wle and snb on 17 th September and had results yesterday. Margins were clear and clear with the nodes to so just need the rads in a couple of weeks time for insurance etc! So my son over the moon cause basically the cancer has been cut out but I’m virtually feeling nothing. Just sad for another lady who had same thing done same op on same date but I learnt she has to have op done again cause they “didn’t get it all out”. Gutted for her. So I’m lucky right? Even to me I sound pathetic! All you brave strong girls out there going through so much more with your brave family and friends. So there-what am I like( most of the time with head in that handy bucket of sand!
I am sorry that you are feeling so low, just to reassure you that many users report similar feelings when they feel they should be pleased about ‘good news’, it may help to talk it over with one of our helpliners, they offer a great listening ear on 0808 800 6000, lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays so please call if you feel it would help
Valley girl. You are NOT pathetic. You’ve been through the trauma of a bc diagnosis and surgery. BC is not a competition and we need not feel guilt that others have more or worse treatments to undergo. (There’s a whole thread about this! It’s called BENCHLAND!)
I wouldn’t call being dx with bc “Lucky”, but yes, you are able to start to move on a bit quicker than may have been the case, and you should be pleased it was found and removed early, before it spread.
Don’t chastise yourself for what you are - or aren’t - feeling. It’s an emotional roller coaster and every feeling is valid. You WILL get to a place where you feel like celebrating, but take each day as it comes!
Rads are not too bad. There are loads of “starting rads” threads on here to give you advice and support.
Good luck with it all! x
Thankyou for support jcj wonderful response just what I needed. Sad and anger cause of other lady having to endure repeat of lumpectomy and all that goes with that. I am SO lucky compared to others and just still shocked that all this has happened to little old me. Will look for BENCHLAND I love this place for support from people going through the same thing! Thank you again xxx
JCJ has said it all…just take it a day at a time…you are not pathetic…you’ve been through the same trauma as someone who has to have chemo…it’s no less traumatic if you only have to have rads…look for BENCHLAND thread…there’s a lake there where you can throw your guilt away…you are a brave strong woman like the rest of us…M
I can understand that your emotions are all over the place. I finished 8 months of treatment and am doing very well really, all things considered, but just when everyone else thought I should be feeling particularly upbeat (but then they don’t know my prognosis and just think, that’s it then, all done and dusted) I hit a bit of a downer. Even I can’t really understand why and logically I should be living for the here and now and not worrying about what might happen in the future. But at least I’m feeling a bit better now - perhaps because I’ve finally had a jolly good cry, which I didn’t much do throughout diagnosis and treatment.
I remember seeing a post on the Forum by a lady who couldn’t understand why she felt bad after getting to the end of treatment - and at the time I couldn’t understand why she felt that way, but now I do. I’ve also seen posts from ladies who feel guilty because they’ve found out that their lump wasn’t cancer. You can tell yourself what logic dictates but it’s just not always how we actually feel. What are we like!
As JCJ says, you’ve still been through the whole awful experience of finding out you have cancer and needing treatment. Anyway, bear in mind that - I think I can speak for most people here, based on experience - those of us who’ve had a ‘harder time’ get much pleasure from hearing about anyone who has had to have less, or no, treatment.
Best of luck with the rads (make sure you apply plenty of E45 cream, I did and my skin held up really well, oh and I was advised not to wear a bra and just to wear loose fitting cotton tops, rather than a friend whose skin became very sore but she wasn’t given the advice I was). And try not to feel guilty - be pleased that you’ve delighted your son, and me!
Valley girl. You are welcome. I hope you are feeling better. Here is a link to BENCHLAND. You’ll need HOURS to read all the posts. There are many pages in the middle that I’ve not read yet. It’ll make you laugh until you cry and cry until you laugh again. It’s a wondeful tonic! So many lovely (and completely lunatic!) ladies!
Enjoy. Join in if you want to, or just ‘lurk’. xx
I was given the ‘all clear’ on Wednesday and I haven’t felt like celebrating one bit. I have had 3 surgeries in 4 months the latest having to have a temp implant removed as it got infected. I had 7 days of iv antibiotics and 7 more days of oral abs and its left me feeling nauseous all the time. I was in hospital for 9 days, longer than the original bilateral mx. I’m scared everyone is going to think that I should be onward and upward and I just don’t feel strong enough at the moment! I’m left with one temp implant and one flat side and it all just feels horrible! I’m due for a reconstruction next year sometime after I’ve lost another 3 stone! It all seems an uphill struggle!
I had DCIS with one node involved but not enough to require further treatment. I consider myself to be lucky in many ways but as you say above, lucky and a bc dx don’t really go together!
I’m sure we will all find it all gets easier, I just can’t wait for that to happen! Sorry feel like I had a right old whinge there!!!
Lots of love to you all
Aw viv what a horrible time you’ve had you’ve been through a very rough time. Hope you feel more like your old self and sending a big cwtch(welsh hug!) over to you. I was recommended BENCHLAND and it is proving quite brilliant to read through these tough times! Although I’m a bit of a lurker at the moment as the 'all clear has got my head firmly stuck back in that bucket of sand x
But this site is full of wonderful ladies all going through similar emotions. I’m in awe of you all(and I ain’t be drinking honest!)