sick of this happening -disabled parking

I dont normally come on here and rant but today i am really fed up

I am really fed up of bing verbally abused everytime that i park in a disabled parking space. The dirty looks also aren’t nice either. This is now happening to me at least once a week and is really upsetting me.

I appreciate that at the moment i do look well and very rarely use my walking stick but I do have problems getting about which is why I have a badge and use it.

If I had a choice I would not have cancer but cant do much about that!. I have to say the man who shouted at me this morning couldn’t get away quick enough when I offered to show him my surgery scars!
Ok rant over off to have a really good howl!
Jools

Jools - I work for a very large service organisation and it has taken us about 10 years and no end of work to ensure our staff understand that 90% of disabilities are invisible. Arthritis, learning difficulties, epilepsy, cancer etc all effect people but aren’t obviously like a wheelchair. In fact we have changed the signs on disabled seating to move away from the wheelchair sign to encourage other customers to think more broadly. It’s a slow process of culture change!

That doesn’t help you though! Just ignore them - they ignorant and don’t deserve your energy.

Geraldine

Hi Jools
I know what you mean I am 39 and without wig and false tan and makeup look ill but with it all look fine at moment, I don’t drive so husband does driving but same thing happens no verbal abuse yet but hubby is a 6’ 4 policeman maybe thats why but the amount of looks and people checking front of car annoys me. But it has got to point were I just laugh it off and purposely try to look as well as possible getting out of car. We deserve our right to the blue badge we would all gladly do without it if we could have our health back so just try to ignoe these ignorant people.
Take Care Liz x

I feel the same as you Jools - because I ‘look’ well I tend to get dirty looks and I even had a man and his wife stop a member of staff outside Tesco’s to say that I shouldn’t be parking there.

I just feel that one of these days some poor unfortunate person is going to get the whole of my pent up frustration in one go!

Some people tend to think that unless you have a stick (which I don’t like using) or are in a wheelchair then you shouldn’t be parking there. I also wonder whether some of them think I’m using someone else’s badge?

My two big rants are blue badge parking and travel insurance!!! So rant away Jools…

Rant away Jools

My son has learning disabilities and autism and his disability doesn’t show and neither does mine. We should not be shy in this situation and should give people an earful if they give us a hard time - how else will people know. Seems to me people quite like “policing” these disabled bays and being obnoxious - have seen exactly what you describe!

Rant girl, rant.

These people aren’t worth your spit so don’t give them the time of day. You do NOT owe anyone ANY explanation. They should walk a mile in your shoes…

Miffed!

I know I am in a different situation to you, only recently being DX with BC, but I have had a blue badge for 18 years, having had rheumatoid arthritis and 3 joint replacements, including a hip. One of my biggest rants is the use of disabled bays, especially in supermarkets! They are constantly being used by non badge holders, and on the other side of this, I am constantly being watched when I get out of my car, as most of the time, admittedly, I do not look as if there is anything wrong. I have always felt very guilty that I have a badge, because of this, as I have also been approached and questioned. My OH tells me I should ignore them but sometimes its easier said than done. Why cant people have respect for us. We dont ask for our ‘disability’ and I certainly would love to give the badge back and have my health back. So Jools, you go for it and give them a peace of your mind, we all should!
deb x

Hi Jools

I am really sorry that you have had all of this c**p thats partly the reason I havn’t applied for my badge although I get the dla. Most of the time I look really well and it has only been my lung problems that give me trouble walking. I could have done with mine ,last year when I was really poorly but I didn’t know about the dla then.

Just ignore them Jools I am sure that they wouldn’t want your illness!!
love CAroline
PS did you have a nice weekend away?

You poor thing, people are so bloody ignorant and it makes my blood boil. I think if it was me I would turn round and look them straight in the eye and say really calmly, “if you would like my cancer, you can have the parking space that goes with it”!

I am sure they would be so mortified at having dared to question you and crawl back under there stones!

This is certainly a difficult and emotive issue. However, the blue badge system is very widely abused.

My understanding is that the scheme is not meant to cover every form of disability. A person is automatically eligible to apply for a badge if they are over two years old and meet at least one of the following criteria:

  • receives the Higher Rate of the Mobility Component of
    the Disability Living Allowance;
  • is registered blind; or
  • receives a War Pensioners’ Mobility Supplement.

Some people may also be eligible for a badge if they are
more than two years old and either:

A have a permanent and substantial disability which means
they cannot walk, or which makes walking very difficult.

(If you are applying for a badge under this criterion you will
need to show that:
• you are unable to walk; or
• you have a physical disability that means you are unable to
walk very far without experiencing severe discomfort; or
• the physical effort needed to walk could damage your health.

People with a behavioural or psychological disorders will
not normally qualify unless their impairment causes very
considerable difficulty in walking all the time. Your local
authority will probably ask for you to be assessed by a medical
professional, such as a physiotherapist or occupational therapist.)

Or;

B drive a motor vehicle regularly, have a severe disability in
both arms, and are unable to operate all or some types of
parking meter (or would find it very difficult to operate them).

Unfortunately, the theft of Blue Badges and / or their misuse by persons who do not meet the above criteria has increased quite dramatically in recent times - sad but true ! One consequence is that some people who are entitled to the use of a Blue Badge are, on occasion, challenged by members of the public… . . . . .if they can find a space in which to park, that is. It’s upsetting for all parties involved, I’m afraid. I don’t have a solution but letting rip would’nt be advisable I feel.

Jim

I’m sorry Jim but I disagree but we are all entitled to our opinion. I forgot to mention that all the people who “look” at me are all pensioners and although I would never “let rip” as it is not in my nature I hate the fact that some older people and it’s definately not all of them, feel they have the right to (because of their age) to police disabled bays and if nobody explains or lets rip this is something they will carry on doing.

I also have the same problem when I go to have my bloods taken when on chemotherapy because the hospital has a system of taking a ticket and waiting unless you have a red form and then you go to the room were they take the blood, hold up your form then go in first as a priority, I can guarantee that someone and it is always a pensioner and always a female starts to shout at me that I need to take a ticket and wait and that I better not go before them and then starts to express her feelings to the rest of the room so about half of them start muttering about me.

I always simply point to the many signs on the wall explaining the system I don’t speak because I know if I try to I will start to cry because I simply have enough to deal with without this rudeness and many a time when I have gone into the room and sat down I do cry, so the blood taking takes longer and the people in the waiting room wait longer. I often feel like sying to the person who shouts at me “i’ts one of the quirks of being terminally ill” but I never do as I don’t wish to discuss my illness with a room full of strangers.

I also feel like saying to these people and the people in the car parks “can’t you just be gratefull for reaching old age” but I wouldn’t as I don’t know anything about their life and would never presume I did so I wish they would stop making presumptions about me. Sorry to go on but just leting rip here like Jools instead of at the people who verbally abuse us.
Liz x

Jim

I think all of us posting here understand the system quite well as we have been through the fun of applying for dla under the special rules and then taking the higher rate DLA letter and applying for a blue badge so that we can use it for hospital appointments if we are reasonably well and for daily life when things are hard…so to be policed in this way is really unpleasant.

I would never challenge someone in the way that I have seen, and I think no one has the right to challenge me if I am displaying a valid badge (that has my picture on it by the way). Society has to understand that not all disability is blatantly obvious…

Cathy

Jules1964
you hit the nail right on the head!!!
here, here to all the other comments. I wish the ‘older generation’ who police the disabled parking bays would frequent our local asda!!! I can never get a bay as they are all taken by NON badge holders!
Deb x

Sorry Jim - you’re on your own here. I know there is wide spread abuse of blue badges as there is with any form of ‘benefit’ system but why should we have to put up with the abuse of people staring at us because we under 70 and ‘look’ well.
I will challenge people who challenge me and am quite prepared to show them all my scarring, hickman line and rads marks, if I felt i needed to. I tend not to because it upsets the children but on my own I will and have grabbed my line out of my bra to show them i need treatment.
I will tell people I’m terminally ill when really riled but that makes my breathing really bad and gives me chest pain so usually take the quiet option and just glare and get my walking stick with the antler on and wave it about. You would not know by looking at me that my lungs work at 50% and my heart at 55 -60% unlesss I attempt hills and trolleys and getting angry.
I find the elderly and middle aged women the worst in staring at me. In supermarkets, I get too out of breath to push a trolley let alone bend over and put shopping in and out of it so always have help - often very begrudgingly from staff as well.
I also think some of the mums think I have munchusens!!! I’ve been to school in my mobility scooter, used a stick, ran for the shelter in the pouring rain once and used oxygen at school and then not. I’m convinced they all think I’m living in cloud cuckoo land so today I was quite pleased to see one of these women who eye me with suspicion visiting the next lady in the hospice bed next to mine whilst I was in my pjs and having a bad turn so she can see that it is true unless of course, some people really do like being in a hospice ward with all the indignitary it involves.
Rant away - my other issue is fuel bills and that every pensioner getting their £200 worth regardless of income or who spend all winter away whilst we with a terminal illness which is known to cause the sufferer the cold are stuck with a huge bill like I was as too ill and needed the heating on all the time.
Quite peaceful in the hospice but even here I’m mistaken for a volunteer and get funny looks off relatives as I can’t help them and been missed off the aromotherapy and manicure lists as well. Looking good only helps the children and my self esteem I think.
Well hijacked thread now!!! Any more rants??
Kate

Hi Kate
been following some of your threads and must say, i admire you so much. Also, agree about the comment to do with the £200. Feel this is unfair, as how many do spend this on heating? We should all take a stand with the government and sort this country out!!!
Take care
Deb x

Jim
Just to say that I do receive the higher rate of DLA which is why my Macmillan nurse helped me apply for the blue disabled badge
Jools

This may appear in bad taste but what a wonderful line “if you would like my cancer, you can have the parking space that goes with it”! That certainly gets 10/10!!!

I have my blue badge and really thought that i was going to get my first comment on Tuesday - but he saw me mouth back at him and turned away.

My problem is that I have a Baby on Board sticker on car - so that’s the first thing that they spot!!!

Guns at the ready!!!

Love Anne
xx

Hi all, i felt the same way at least once aweek .i felt so well well they dont see me me Until i have brain tumour and is 6 months, month licence . Well at least i get it back it bad when 6 months is up !

sophie

I have a friend who has been a wheelchair user for 25 years and know that people with visible disabilities also get abused and ignored, rendered invisible…by people of all ages. I think attitudes to people with all kinds of disabilities have changed for the better in the last 25 years but still a long way to go.

I support universal benefits such as child benefit and the pensioners’ fuel allowance…I don’t think we make a case for extension of benefits to those who have terminal cancer by having a go at other groups. Prejudice exists among all groups, old, young, and middel aged.

I don’t entirly agree with Jim but he’s right that there is a whole alternative indutsry in selling and passing on blue badges, complete with lookalike photos.

Oh for a more inclusive, tolerant society all round.

best wishes to all

Jane

Its not just cancer patients who get this. My Father when in his 80’s had a blue badge for a heart condition, he received many dirty looks and horrible comments because he refused to use his stick. One day he was parked in a disabled parking space in town when a traffic warden saw him get out of the car, came over and gave him a ticket, my dad showed him the badge with his photo but the TW said he didn’t care as he could tell my dad wasn’t disabled as wasn’t in a chair. We could have had a badge years ago for my mum but as dad drove they didn’t. we had to go to the local police station with all the paperwork and they cancelled the ticket, saying this TW booked all badge holders not in chairs. He was out of a job in a few weeks.
Val