Even bcc not appreciating that bc is also a young womans disease and so organising the manchester moving on after bc dx seminar for 1 til 3, hence clashing with school pick up and hence meaning I am struggling to find childcare even though I really want to go. Sorry bcc, I know you do lots of stuff for young women and I appreciate it, but have been trying to
find childcare and sm just really frustrated as an hour earlier would have meant there wasn’t even a problem to solve.
…being totally obsessed with cancer.
…having to write to the girls’ school, though I have specifically said in the letter that they DON’T want the staff to approach THEM about it, they have their own chosen friends and support already set up.
…waiting for results - I’m at screaming pitch and not doing ANYTHING I’m supposed to be doing.
Of… Hormones, Want to scream and shout today, but me being me holding it all in !! Carrying on doing the housework and listening to what I think trivial comments!
xxx
I agree with Karen. Sick of waiting! I had a 10.30 appointment on Wednesday. Waited 2HOURS!! to be seen only to be told they didn’t have my scan results! GRRRRR!!!
Of…how work has soured - feeling like a leper - bad atmosphere, to long to go into here. Still not knowing for sure if BC hasn’t spread. Four long weeks to PET scan to find out. Having BC and now feeling people see me as someone different, or a problem, an outsider.
I know I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself but hay, I figure sometimes its ok.
What a difference a day makes, sick to my back teeth yesterday but today everyone at work were so very sweet, met with friends at a wine bar after work and had much fun, I’ve been elected to join a horse racing betting club - a day when I felt normal and still part of the human race, much joy!
I suppose thats the thing about BC, fighting to keep what you have but it sneekily trying to take everything away from you, whether physicaly or mentality. Everyone says be strong, somehow I think they have a point - laugh in the face of adversity.
Thanks you so much for your post, it helped, a lot.
Myfanwy
x
(Sorry for the spelling, crickey - but you know what I mean).
Moody Bloody Kids in the morning I thought by the age of 22 and 24 yrs they would have grown out of this Morning Dear, “URGH” response…
I swear they do it on purpose just to make my life feel more crappy in the mornings !!!
As if I haven’t got enough to contend with, looking like a tweenie with this sticky up hair that I can do nothing with to start my day.
Trying to put mascara on 6 eyelashes… Squeeze into clothing that’s now 2 sizes too small, not being able to afford new clothing or even secondhand would be nice!!!
Not knowing where the next penny’s coming from, considering phoning the British Embassy today to see if they can help!
People telling me there skint in one breath then phoning and tell me I won’t see them for 16 days as going away to the Canaries…Ummm Skint!
Being jealous of them !!!
And all this before 9am in the morning !! I can see what type of day I’m going to have…
Tell me is BC stress related if so I’m in for a big problem this year!
I am sick of feeling guilty cos I’m alive, and my friend isn’t.
Sick because all the aches pains and niggles I’ve had for the past 4years and 9 months can mainly be put down to side effects of treatment and I thought I was getting old.
Sick of OH saying but you don’t have BC any more you’re fine.
Sick of watching any tiny little spot or cut on arm incase it goes wrong and they cut my arm off.
Everyone assuming that if I loose weight everything in the garden will be rosy! Will part of the weight go from my mind worrying that BC will come back.
Everyone coming to me with every little cancer worry and expecting me to solve it because “You’ll know cos you’ve had it.”
Sick of the voodoo lady sticking needles into my breast.
Sick of arm swelling up and aching like toothache if I do anything exciting.
I try to be upbeat, but am sick of creeping into the waiting room at the Doctors because I am worried about yet ANOTHER “symptom”!
My OH also feels I’ve had the Op, Chemo and Rads so I shouldn’t be worried / depressed now… even though the mood doesn’t last long he can’t really understand it. (Having had a heart problem himself last year and refusing to let it worry him!)
Sick of feeling that friends in the village don’t know what to say to me, and have had no contact with the majority over Christmas and the New Year.
That’s enough grumbles to go on with, isn’t it!
xx
Was out the other evening with friends, a chap said he read palms and took my friends hand and said everything would be fine for her in the future, I offered my hand and he said why did you give me your right hand, I said 'cause my mate did. He said, oh no, let me have your left hand, it tells of the past!!! Right confidence builder that was, then he said I’d been around a bit, bloody cheek, I haven’t. I suppose when you have BC it scares people, I bloody hope so in certain situations (he knows of my ailment to, )!!!
They whip you. No, not really, just a nice message reminding you of the rules of the forum and then they edit your. “error”. Not of course that that had ever happened to me…
Vickie, Not that IV"E HAD THE EXPERIENCE OF THE MODS… ugh,ugh… I think they might be giving us a little leeway on this thread… could be wrong but a few naughties have slipped through…lol…
Sick of EATING, I just can’t stop even though i’m getting bigger and bigger… What is wrong with me… I have double the size of a meal I used to eat, an hour later crackers, cheese, pickled onions… mmmmmm of to the fridge now!!!
Myfanwy I got banished (By the mods)to the naughty corner/step for using P****d followed by off and a word that rhymes with frollicks so watch out there is no more room on this step. Think I/we need to find a big empty field in the middle of nowhere so I can do some f ing and jeffing and this from the most sweetly spoken woman on the planet pre BC Oh how I could SCREAM OUT LOUD don’t even get me on the Occ Health woman who only wanted to know if I could lift a kettle 1/2 full/ full of water and do my own housework.HELLO given that HR got my continous service wrong I was on 1/2 pay then no pay erroneously I nearly had to go out cleaning and ironingto get a few bob to pay the bills. J xx plus a lot of screaming shouting and chucking toys out of the pram