sick to my back teeth of thinking every ache is mets ,it’s pain in my shin at the moment, or well what do they say “this too shall pass” (hopefully)
Melxx
…being turned into a neurotic who thinks every pain is due to spread or return of bc
…having the memory span of a daffodil
…spending 5 years on medication (AIs) only to be given another condition (osteoporosis)
…having to take new medication for new condition(osteoporosis)to find out that it increases risk of another cancer (oesophageal cancer)
…now walking like an 80 year old when only 46
…feeling like an 80 year old
…looking like an 80 year old
…loosing the old “me”
…spending more time at hospitals than in the shops
…everyone thinking I’m OK and “clear” now I have got to 5 years post dx
…having holiday insurance that costs nearly as much as the holiday
…bursting into tears on a regular basis for no particular reason
…having to choose clothes mainly by the depth of the neckline
…being so darned tired during the day, then not being able to sleep at night
…spending 2 - 3 times more on a bra that I don’t particularly like, than I used to
…buying a bra because it looks “comfy” rather than buying one because it’s pretty
…not being able to regulate my body temperature any more other than too hot or too cold
but oh so grateful to all the wonderful people on this site that have picked me up when I’m down XXXX
Bird, 4 words for you: “Ebay Is Your Friend”. You’d be amazed what you can pick up for a song. Ha, a birdsong! (Sorry, I blame the drugs).
Sick to my back teeth of these new glasses. Or it could be that my eyes are just not functioning together properly. In any case, I swear the shelves in Tesco just moved of their own accord! Bah, varifocals because my eyes are older than I am…
Sick to my back teeth of, ‘OOh you’ve had your hair cut.’ Grrrrrrr
As if anyone in their right mind would ask for this cut!!!
sick of all the volumising/lengthening mascara not making a bit of difference to my stumpy eyelashes!
ChoccieMuffin - that was terrible! I totally blame the drugs!! LOL! But yes you are so right ebay is very much my friend! High street really isn’t my thing, I reckon 80% of my wardrobe is from ebay!!
Buzzy - yep me too! I am struggling to get any mascara to actually stay on my lashes!!! Waterproof or not it flakes off very easily!! Damn you eyelashes for falling out!!!
Am also starting to get p****d off with having to put nail varnish on! I probably don’t actually need to now cuz the chemo is finished but they are now a lovely yellow shade and there is no way I am showing what looks like nictotine stained nails in public! I do have some standards ya know!!! I used to miss having lovely colourful nails but now its almost a chore!!! I guess its cuz I have to rather than want to - bc and its treatment seems to do that quite often - make me have to do something cuz I have to rather than actually want to!!! and I really hate being told what to do!! SO damn you BC for dictating!!
Hi Guys!
Am back for another rant if you don’t mind. Keep storing stuff up and feel like this is the only place where I can let go. Thank you so much for allowing me to do so.
I have had so many problems since starting chemo that I am absolutely fed up. First there was the cording when the FEC stuffed up my veins through the cannula. Then I got 2 DVTs from the trauma in my arm. Then I had to have a picc line put in. Then I came down with a bout of pharyngitis and needed antibiotics. Then my liver became damaged from the chemo. Then my skin became allergic to any dressing they put over my picc line. Then my picc line became infected and required lots of trips to the hospital that is miles away for treatment and had to have more antibiotics. I am out of area to the hospital, and am treated like a very unwelcomed visitor when I go to the hospital. I can’t get transport easily as it is so far away and I am not driving at the moment cause I have two poorly arms and no concentration. Oh yeah, they told me that I now have a hyperactive thyroid condition on top of the cancer etc. My husband says he is fed up with me and my kids don’t want to say hello or goodnight to me anymore.
So as you can see I am sick of all the things that go wrong even after you have been given the shock of your life with the diagnosis of cancer… It is these little things that are really getting to me.
Thanks again for letting me get that out. I feel much better now getting that off my chest, cause when people ask me how it is all going… I am screaming inside!!! but say ‘fine’ like so many of us.
Lots of love guys
Lone xx
You really have been in the wars, haven’t you?
Can you bear hugs, at least virtual ones?
Lone - (((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))
Some days are just sh*t. Better ones ahead.
Sophie xx
Oh dear, poor Lone. A definite pile of hugs needed. That, or a soundproof room where you can shout and scream and sob and yell until you’ve finished.
Hugs.
CM
x
Lone…don’t think I’ve read such a litany of horrors/misery for a while. Try and stick in there - we’re here for you, Barbara
Lone, sorry to hear your having such a s…t time! As for the kids I think perfectly normal in our situation, mine are the same, in fact my oldest one to speak to me at the moment is easier Extracting Teeth!!!xxx
Sick to my back teeth of…
…constipation. I’m NEVER taking codeine again. Haven’t had a poo since Monday, so all those people who think I’m full of **it are completely correct right at this moment!
Hi CM
So with you on that one, not the codeine now but the chemo, and I have eaten my bodyweight in stuff 'sposed to keep one going - if I drink any more water, I will drown and although I love veggies, there are only so many I can eat!
SJ xx
CM - I had chocolate fudge cake and vanilla icecream for lunch yesterday, and yesterday evening finally managed to ‘go’ - first time in three days (no wonder I have heartburn, must be complete traffic jam from top to bottom!). I’m deffo sure it was choc fudge cake that did the business, as it were. Eat it every day <grin></grin>
Sophie xx
So pleased you’ve ‘been’ Sophie. I always knew chocolate fudge cake was good for you.
Stella xx
i am sick of
been a work and havin to say
yeah feel good when i feel like xxxx
not sleeping more than 2 hrs
this dam heat when everyone thinks its cold
headaches
getting up and going to work when all i wanna do is sleep
work
oh and did i mention work
…feeling old, depressed and putting on weight. Oh and people spitting! B
Hi BW
People spitting!!! what on earth?
I am getting really p****d off with not having a decent nights sleep. I think I have ranted about this before - but my memory is so rubbish I can’t remember!! LOL!! The night sweats continue and so do the chills meaning I am waking up 4-5 times every night and starting to feel exhausted!!! Good job I ain’t back at work yet - no way I could get up that early!! Struggling to get up before 9.30 at the moment.
x
Hi Bird, same hear girl… No sleep… Hot tropical moments every 20 minutes or so through the night!
As for memory I stood with the fridge door open this morning with me and an empty glare looking into it… OH asked what am I looking for, I replied SOCKS… UMMMM Need I Say More !!!
Oh and i’m lucky if I see before 11am most days then siesta at 3pm ish.