Sorry but I need a bit of a rant at this late hour and hubby works away from home during the week (and the bunnies aren’t too talkative). Mentally preparing myself for my MX next week after a local recurrence. After being DX on 16th Dec had to cope with a friends funeral (gave a speech) and the fear of the PET CT scan to see if it had spread whilst my husband fretted about his father having bowel surgery. Well got the news tonight that his test results came back positive for cancer do need to pick myself up and go see them in the morning to offer a bit of support. Hubby still working away and trying to manage his time so he can be around for me after my surgery but now he’s all distraught about his Dad’s news. Feel like I have a heavy load at the moment. It was a year ago that I lost one of the friends I originally has treatment with (and a second one march so lots of anniversaries looming). Just wondering how to keep being brave & strong for everyone! At least my bad news was good news ( cancer back but not spread plus I have private cover through work) but boy I’d like an easier time, especially as I’m on my own a lot and my boss is less than helpful/understanding.
Sorry to moan. I know there’s lots worse off than me but I just needed to let off steam for a moment!I’m usually upbeat & positive but it’s wearing a bit thin at the moment
So sorry you’re having such a hard time at the moment, my heart goes out to you. Please remember though you are not superwoman (even though you’d probably like to be!). You can’t take everyone elses problems on your own shoulders, you need to conserve your strength for your own battle. This probably sounds selfish but I bet your father in law would want to put you first at the moment. Time will pass and things will get sorted, just try and take one day at a time and breathe!!!
My recurrence and mastectomy was 7 years ago now and I remember feeling as you do now, it’s a terrifying place to be. I too have had friends die this year but you are one of the lucky ones, your recurrence is local & that is good. They can sort it and you will be amazed how you will cope with it.
Hi Twinky,
I think lbx has put it brilliantly, so there’s nothing really to add. In this strange world we now inhabit we are more vulnerable than we were before, I think, especially as we find friends along the way who are then snatched from us. There are no answers as to why, we know that, and this side of eternity it isn’t going to make sense. This much I do know though, finding a safe safe for a rant is good, and those who do ‘get’ it are standing alongside, at least metaphorically.
I agree with RevCat that Ibx put this brilliantly.
Now is the time to concentrate on you. Whilst, like me, you would like to be strong for everyone else … You may burn yourself out, putting more pressure on your OH!
I’m so aware of the BC cliches now but my sister had bowel cancer 6 years ago, no chemo, no radiotherapy and she’s doing well (in her 50’s at Dx).
Scream and shout as much as you want on here, no one minds! As for your boss at the moment …he’s definitely last on your list!
Sort of now how you are feeling, although my OH is around. He was diagnosed with a melanoma last year, then spent some time in hospital in the summer with renal problems, then I was diagnosed in November!
You wonder how life can throw so much at you.
I think it is really important you still give yourself some time-you time- you will not be able to help anyone if you get more sick.
Really thinking of you at this hellish time. Big hugs.
Thank you all for your words of comfort. A tough time but at least I’m going to be ok. Father in law is 80 this year and not in the best of help. My hubby is an only child. His step mother is also an only child & his father has just one brother who lives down in Devon so there’s limited family support at a time like this for them. It helped just having a rant last night and I will try and look after myself this week but I need to go and be supportive. They must be devastated at the moment.
So sorry for your OH, it’s bad enough when you’re in a large family but to be an only one must be really tough at times like this. I understand that you need to be there.
You know we are here to listen when you need to rant!
