I’m booked in for a single mastectomy (left) and lumpectomy/mammoplasty on right + taking sentinel lymph nodes for biopsy. The waiting game is NOT fun! I thought I was fine, at least accepting of the situation. I know this has to happen. But my brain is now going into overdrive. If anyone has any practical tips, words of wisdom or advice it would be very much appreciated. My heart and brain are flying down the rabbit hole. I know the statistics are good, and getting better but its just rubbish isn’t it. X x
You are right it is rubbish and the waiting part is awful. Your brain will be spinning through all the what ifs and maybes.
When I had my mastectomy in 2020 I thought I was doing ok before the operation. Then I was literally on the operating table when I broke down in floods of tears. I suspect I had just shut down all thoughts of it.
Since then I found a few different ways to deal with these negative thoughts. I often say out loud something like “no, I am not going to think about that”. I might try to deliberately turn my thoughts to something positive “I am fit and well” “I trust my team to give me the best treatment”. Occasionally I will think about what the specific issue is and allow sometime on here (or maybe the MacMillan site) to do some reading around a topic. I only use trusted sites for this as there can be some scary out of date information around.
For the first few days after the operation lift nothing heavier than a cup of tea/coffee. Even if you are sent home the same day you still need to get the general anaesthetic out of your system.
Have you got some front fastening tops? You will not be able to lift your arms up to put on clothing over your head.
I am sure lots of other people will be along with their advice as well. You can also ring the helpline here if you have any specific questions and want to talk to a nurse.
Thank you so much for replying @scientistamafier. I’ve been on a panic buy today, pillow, button up shirt, zip up hoodies. Definitely need to look at other bras, I’ve only got the hospital one. I think that part just makes me a little sad. I’ve never loved my breasts but I don’t particularly want to amputate them either. It’s just a rough ride constantly at the moment. X x
Hi, this is my first time posting so I hope it will be of use!
Yesterday I was 4 weeks post single mastectomy with implant reconstruction. I can see that you’ve gone for front opening tops (dress your affected side first) which was my first tip. I would say that this week I am in considerably less discomfort with a good range of movement and less of the pins &needles/sunburn feelings in my chest and arm. Be prepared for that, it’s a very odd feeling. Even towelling after the shower hurt so I used a towelling dressing gown and sat until I was dry!
I had a poor appetite for a while, so stock up on some snacks/healthy treats to tempt you.
I am still tired, even after doing very little! I’m frustrated by that but hopefully this will improve. I’m walking around 4k every few days, in comparison with running 5k two days before my surgery.
Do what you need to do to look after yourself and take any kindness that is offered. We all feel differently and that’s ok!
I haven’t really addressed my emotions, I feel that I need to keep only positive thoughts in order to get through this stage. When I’ve felt tearful and negative I’m doing my best to push them away. I know they will need to come out at some point but right now I need strength.
I wish you well and hope my thoughts are useful.
One practical hint - a little heart shaped ‘mastectomy ‘ pillow / cushion is very helpful to tuck under the arm as it stops pressure between the arm and side .
So sorry to read your post, we’re all here for you so please post it any time you feel like it.
I do wish you well with your surgery ahead. My advice would be to take all the help offered to you. Look after yourself and take one day at a time. I think you’re surprised yourself how will you cope with what’s ahead of you, your exercises will help enormously all this easy for me to say as you so anxious at the moment, but I promise it will all fall into place.
The waiting game it’s not easy, try to keep busy and maybe meet that dear friend for a cup of tea and a chat if you feel up to it.
Wishing you health and happiness going forward please let us know how you are getting on.
Hi B
Everyone has given good advice button up tops hoodies etc , loose joggers or leggings as it’s hard pulling trousers up and forget you will have a drain in my daughter got me a nice bag to put it in to carry around the best thing you can do is just rest when you get home I had v pillow which was comfy as well as heart one, I felt tearful after drains dressings came off which is normal you have lost part of your body but have come terms with it all I don’t look back now I look forward , good luck hope all goes well X
Thank you so much for replying @altoan . The towel robe is a great idea. This has been an expensive weekend, I maybe should’ve faced reality sooner. You sound really positive and I’m discovering that is so incredibly important. I hope the running comes back to you soon. Everyone on this forum is so supportive its just amazing. Sending virtual hugs & thankyous.
Thank you @charlottebee. I did ask about the drains and my surgeon says they don’t think I’ll have them?! Ordered a pillow and its just turned up. Think I might invest in a v shaped pillow for sleeping aswell. Although I’m not sure how much sleep I’m going to get. X x
Thank you @Tili . It’s all so heavy all the time. Not many tears today so that’s okay. My head will wobble on Tuesday but it is what it is. Sending huge virtual thank yous to everyone on here. Just incredibly kind. X x
Hi Bosley,
Well done for posting and I hope your surgery goes well. I can’t add much about what to take…I was in hospital for 4 nights after single mastectomy and Diep reconstruction, now 4 weeks post-op. I took lots of stuff I didn’t need, couldn’t be bothered with all my face moisturisers, my own nightie etc! Comfy clothes, good post-op bra (you don’t say if you’re having a reconstruction) etc. I would also say, please follow the physio advice to the letter, it makes such a difference to range of movement. It’s tedious for sure doing this stuff three times a day but really worth it - I can now raise my arm straight above my head with no problems (I had sentinel node biopsy). Good luck x
Best of luck. I bought new pyjamas and lots of bits and pieces and actually used nothing so I wouldn’t waste money lol. Just make sure you listen to your docs and do the exercises and take the painkillers if you need. Once I got my drains out on day 3 I was fine to be honest, went out a walk that day. Shirts are good but it’s only short term and just make you’re comfortable.
I did find the immediate first morning difficult and the nurses were encouraging me to dress myself and do my teeth but you’re recovering and just need to take it easy. You’ll be fine, just another step in the process x
I was nervous of the op-will I wake up, will I get thro but my biggest feeling was get the cancer out and if that means my breast too, then take it. I have felt tearful often about breast cancer but never about losing my breast.
I bought lots of stuff I didn’t then use (like having a baby and people tell you, you really need the nappy storage bag or the bath thermometer…).
I bought 2 bamboo vest tops-I could step into them and pull up, then a zip up hoodie to put over the top. Bamboo is cooling, soft against scars and quick to dry. As someone else said, joggers are comfy when laying round and easy to get up and down. My hospital gives everyone a heart pillow so see if yours is the same. I also had a normal pillow, really squidgy with bamboo pillowcase that I rested my arm on when up in the day or in bed at night. Under my arm was sensitive and the cooling bamboo helped that.
I had no drains and was in the shower next day, washing my hair, although maybe not the best wash . I was hanging out washing within a few days.
My tips, 1. do your exercises as you should 2. and in front of a mirror. I thought I was doing great with shoulder shrugs until I saw it really wasn’t moving as much as I thought. Even now, after 18 months, I get tightness if don’t do but that could be because I had further surgery for axillary clearance. 3. Find a balance between taking all the kind offers and keeping independence and feeling still like ‘you’ and not an ill patient 4. Take pain relief if you need and don’t struggle on. Personally I didn’t need any which was BIG surprise but I know some people who try to do without but then don’t want to move because of the pain, or lay awake all night and get no rest. 5. Look after yourself-eat well, gentle exercise, fresh air, regular good sleep, fun, plan nice things to do… this is time to build yourself up and strong.
You got this and we’re all here for you. Let us know how you get on.
X
Regarding sleeping position I think a v shaped pillow could be useful. I didn’t have one, instead I propped myself up with about four regular pillows. Sometimes, though, the only way I could sleep was sitting in an armchair. This was only for the first week or so.
Good luck I am also having a single Mastectomy next week so know how you are feeling - I am on here at 3am in the morning as I do NOT understand why I cannot have immediate reconstruction so am going to search through the topics to see if anyone else has been told they have to wait one year for reconstruction… Feel I would cope so much better with immediate re-construction.
Also looking for practical advice about post surgery as I will have one BIG boob and am so worried about looking odd - I did ask if they could reduce the remaining boob at the same time but again that was a NO!
Thank you. You sound so positive after 4 weeks! No reconstruction on the left, lumpectomy and reduction on the right plus sentinel biopsy. I’ve been going over all of the exercises. Its the mental side thats kicking in now. X x
Thank you! I’ll keep you updated on how it goes. I didn’t want construction at this point, my brain just wants the offending boob to be gone. They did advise to hold off on reconstruction for a while or at least until they had biopsied the breasts to make sure I don’t need more removing from the right. Its all a waiting game until that final diagnosis. Keep us updated on how things go! And, if you ever need to chat I’m definitely awake at 3am most nights.
Thank you! Its a lot, isn’t it. I feel like i might be ignoring my feelings but I’m sure that will change Tuesday morning. Shopping for some button up tops today and another bra as i only have the one the hospital gave me. X x
There’s only so much reality we can face! I’m a (boring) practical person, so thought a lot about managing stuff - it’s in my nature, it filled my thoughts and stops me from going down a rabbit hole of sadness. Someone at the hospital applied for a grant from MacMillan, which she stressed was available to everyone with this diagnosis, to cover some of the additional costs associated with it. That’s what I’ve been using for the bras, pillows etc but you can use it however you want. I suggest you look into that, it came through very quickly.
Isn’t it interesting how different our experiences are? Some people on here are incredible in their recovery and I admire them. Wishing you well in the next few days and weeks ahead.
So sorry to read your post, by now you may have had your mastectomy. I had mine on 3 Jan this year. I had very little post-op pain and was off paracetemol on day 5. I had to sleep on my back with 2 pillows for the first 3 weeks but now can sleep on my “good” side. The worse point was looking at myself for the first time, it took me 10 days to pluck up the courage. I have coped with it by thinking it is the price of life and I’m lucky to be able to have treatment First & foremost be kind to yourself, accept all the help that’s offered and try to be as comfy as you can.
It is important to wear the compression bra 24/7 if possible as this will reduce the risk of swelling, it is also essential to do the exercises - it only takes a total of 30 mins a day. I suggest you try to get a couple of “Knitted Knockers” (see facebook) they are donated by kind knitters and I find them mu ch more comfortable than foam falsies. 9 weeks on from surgery I am back doing yoga & pilates and feeling able to cope with the future. I hope this advice will help you and that you have a good recovery. Big hugs & best wishes
. I was hanging out washing within a few days.