Help!!! So desperate and hopeless today. My morale is so low. I don’t know what to do
Hi , talk away we are here 
I have three boys under 12. I have no active co parent. My kids have no contact with their father currently .
I am in receipt of benefits eesa.
I feel low and have put in weight due to steroids.
I am a graduate with a teaching qualification also. I was a professional actress before that.
I feel trapped on these benefits and don’t how I will ever get back into work that pays adequately enough to cover all the childcare I wouldn’t need to actually get there.
I’ve been served notice by landlady so have to move in May. But many landlords will not accept housing benefit and also rents have gone up in my area.
I can’t see a future . And this is crazy as I am an intelligent thoughtful curious woman.
My kids are doing great but it’s an impossible task.
I have a grade 3 breast rumour - caught early and treatable with chemo then lumpectomy and radiotherapy . I’ll be done end of November. I am so lucky it treatable i know. But what life awaits me?
I have put on weight and feel very self hating which saddens me and is very new.
Some close friends have fallen away.
And I feel isolated lonely and future less.
I am so angry.
Thanks I really appreciate your perspective
I feel like the stigma of being on benefits drives me crazy
I’m doing everything I can
I wish society was different
Or my luck
But it’s not
So there we go
You are very wise and I really appreciate your perspective
Hello Amazing lady - I too am on benefits after 35 years in work - 2 cancers in the last 3 years have left me with health issues and I lost my job - it’s depressing and a bit humiliating and I would rather not be in this situation but what choice have we got ?? Have you applied for PIP- if you are going through chemo it is definitely worth applying for - find a local Macmillan advisor they will fill it in with you and also give you advice about anything else you may be entitled to - they have advisors on the telephone also via their website.Jo is totally right - you need to take things one step at a time otherwise it gets overwhelming .Lots of advice and support here from people who understand - sending you a big hug through cyberspace .x
Hi AmazingLady,
A very apt username by the way!
As Jo & Jill have said & nothing more to add really, just sending hugs.
Come back & chat or vent whenever you need to & there is the helpline here if you need to talk things through 0800 800 6000.
ann x
Thanks a lot for sharing your experience.
Yes one thing at a time.
I feel guilty for being so negative but I guess that’s what depression and anxiety do to the mind.
Yes I am in receipt of all the benefits .
My boyfriend keeps trying to encourage me to look forward to new work and and rebuilding a new career. He was attempting to be helpful but it’s not at all.
It’s just pressure and I feel like a failure.
It really has to be one moment at a time .
People keep saying I am strong by actually I’m worryingly not strong at the moment .
Today I am alone with two children for the next 48 hours after having chemo on Friday and I am worried about that.
But that’s how it is.
Last night the emotional pain I was In was unreal.
I feel like I achieved something to get through that dark valley!
Thanks to this website for getting me through that dark moment.
Thankyou !