Not sure why I’m posting as I know I can’t get any answers as such, I just have a lot of thoughts in my mind and keep procrastinating and googling (when supposed to be working) so this felt like something more positive to do:
I’ve been experiencing pain in my right breast for a few weeks and when I decided the pain was not cyclical, I went to the GP. The GP thought she felt a mass, so referred me to the breast clinic, which I attended yesterday. The consultant thought the mass was nothing to worry about, but sent me for an ultrasound just to be sure. Reassured, I went for the ultrasound and the radiologist confirmed that the consultant was right, the mass wasn’t anything to worry about, however, she had seen a small lump within there that she was concerned about. So I was sent for a mammogram (ouch) and a biopsy (yuk) and then went back to see the consultant. This time the consultant came in with a specialist nurse and sat on the bed. Oh shit. They confirmed there was a lump which looked sinister, although it was small (1.4cm) and the biopsy results would be back by Wed 5th and I was to bring someone with me to that appointment.
I’m 39 with an almost 3 year old and although I am trying my best to not catastrophise (still don’t know anything for sure; even if it is cancer then it’s small etc.), I still can’t help a million thoughts running through my head…I was just wondering if anyone was in the same boat or anyone who had been through a similar situation, then what their story was?
I think most of us can empathise with you. Our minds immediately leap to breast cancer and, as you say, catastrophise. I’m afraid all you can do is wait - and be grateful your hospital has been so thorough. But bear in mind that there may be other explanations so, as Shi (one of the community champions) always says, you don’t have cancer until your consultant tells you that you do.
Taking someone with you is always a good idea. You can write down your questions beforehand and your companion can tick them off or even remind you to ask about whatever. They can also take notes because, if you are told you have cancer, your mind will go blank or go into overdrive and you won’t take anything in. I blush when I remember I just said one word. It started with F.
Please stay away from Google. It can become almost compulsive but you won’t find any answers there. It’s often outdated, it cannot provide information about your situation when you don’t even know what that situation is, and it had zero consideration for our emotions. Mostly, it increases panic (I speak from experience - just one peek) and almost everyone here would say stay away from Dr Google.
In the meantime, work out what can help you avoid intrusive thoughts. Find the time to practise something like meditation, mindfulness, diaphragmatic breathing technique, go running, play with your child, bake - anything to keep your mind off this and help you feel more in control. There are excellent resources on YouTube (I use Progressive Hypnosis videos almost daily). You may need to build up some resilience.
Let’s hope there’s a different explanation but, if not, it’s all manageable. Not much fun but definitely manageable and, like us, you cope in your own way. Take care,
I know exactly how you feel right now and can honestly say this is the worst part of it all - the waiting!
However, I promise you once you know what you’re dealing with, it gets so so so much better. Hopefully it will be nothing serious, but if it is sinister, the treatments are amazing these days.
When I was first diagnosed, I worried so much about radio and chemo but as it turned out, I didn’t need either and now I look back and wish I hadn’t worried over something that never materialised. Having said that, even if you needed both so many people on here have done it and will vouch that it’s all very do-able.
When your biopsy comes back, they will know exactly what it is and regardless of the outcome, you will feel much better knowing what you’re dealing with.