My sister is 44 with stage 4 breast cancer. Had 10 years of treatment on and off with double mastectomy 5 years ago but it came back in skin tags and although chemo tablets held it back from skin and bones it’s now developing again. Last chemo drugs never worked on bones but helped skin but another drug is to be underway. My sister has got quieter and lower in depression than before and doesn’t let us close. She sends txt to say she’s now struggling and if she knew how many to take she would. Wants it all to end as it’s getting worse and she’s had enough. She wont answer calls or invites to meet. So worried. She says the hospital tell her to get on with it but I find that hard to believe as staff are lovely when I used to attend oncologist appt with her. Any ideas what I can do to help her. She needs help and counselling to work through this as she still has life left to live as she’s not palliative care and there’s treatments available. Thanks
Hi Nailer, you must be so worried about your sister. The nurses on the helpline here and Macmillan helpline would be best to advise you about support for her. You can also speak to her GP and tell them your concerns. Just reassure the Dr you understand that due to patient confidentiality the Dr will not be able give you any details or let you know how they might help your sister, but that you just want to let them know so they are able to help her best. Mind are a good resource as well with a helpline too. Your sister’s local adult social care department should be able to advise too. The mental health aspect of cancer is just as important as the physical treatment and there is help out there and treatments to support your sister even though to her it doesn’t seem like that at the moment. Maybe Marie Curie charity can help (they were so good with my father). And maybe these sources of help can help support you support your sister too, because this is a lot on your shoulders too. If you are ever really worried your sister is in immediate danger your local police can also help if you’re unable to visit or need assistance, they are very well trained in these issues and sensitive. Alternatively if she agreed, your sister could go to A&E if she feels in danger of harming herself. The zero suicide alliance website is also very good at giving people who want to help advice about what to say and what to do when they’re worried about someone. You sound like a lovely caring sister and I really hope you and your sister get the support you need. All the best x
Hi Nailer,
Thank you for posting. We’re so sorry to read about your sister, it sounds like she’s going through a really tough time. As NarniaGirl mentioned, if you are especially worried, you can take your sister to A&E. There are also many organisations that your sister could call for clinical and emotional support, such as our Helpline.
You may also benefit from speaking to one of our nurses for support and information. They are here to help support you both. They are available at 0808 800 6000. (Mondays to Fridays 9am-4pm and Saturday mornings from 9am-1pm.)
Sending you our warmest wishes,
Saskia